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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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As someone who worked in a few nursing homes, I say please visit them as often as you can. The resident who never have visitors, the staff becomes their family but we don't have the time for much personal contact. Attention and touch is so important for both their mental and physical health. I always felt sorry for the residents who only had visitors on Christmas and Easter.
When you have a loved one in a nursing home who is suffering from dementia, it is IMPERATIVE that you visit them as often as you can. They are in a strange place, there are NO memories there for them to hold on to. The nurses and CNA's are strangers as well. One thing I can't express enough is when you have a loved one in a nursing home, ask the CNA's or nurses to roll them over, if they are not able of course, and check their body for skin ulcers (bed sores), my Dad had FOUR on his body, one of which was a stage 4. Needless to say, he passed away from sepsis. He was so sick at the end and we did not know why he started pocketing his food. It was because he had an infection in his blood from the sores. We have a lawsuit pending on this. TRUST ME, nursing home staff DO NOT care for your loved one like a family member would.
Anne Are you and your mother happy in each other's company or is this a chore ? What does nh staff say about her leaving with you?
My mom 93 is very dependent upon me - since her move to memory care in February I visit her min 3x a week usually at night after work and stay til she's asleep in bed On Sunday I try to take her to dinner and sometimes a movie Today I got there at 7 am gave her a shower took for lab work out for breakfast Back to facility did jigsaw puzzles got her snacks and snuck out during her nap
My brother and sister never visit and if they did it would only be for a short time
I put myself in her shoes - I know how scared and alone she is but I'm exhausted all the time - it's getting to be too much after 9 mos
As a former CNA, I worked at two LTC facilities. Each CNA had 10 residents on the Evening shift, dinner and bed time. 10 residents is very doable. You want to avoid places that CNA's have 15 residents as a norm. If co-worker goes home their group gets split up. As a CNA it was the best experience I had. I noticed that some residents didn't have visitors at all, some had visitors everyday/all day. We had a lady on a feeding tube, she had zero body movement and zero communication. Zero visitors..her Obituary listed at least 25 family members. All she had was staff. We would knock on her door before walking in, say hello, and we would still have a one sided conversation with her. I had great co-workers, teamwork is key. Our families in both facilities were wonderful.
My mom is now in LTC after being in Assisted Living. The staff starting with the ladies at the front desk all the way to nursing staff are friendly and helpful. They are great with the Residents. I visit Mom once a week and I stay as long as she lets me. If I get there after dinner, she tells me she's tired and ready for bed. If I get there during the day she has some activity to go to so I better go she tells me.
Does this person look forward to your visits? Or enjoy them while you are there? If so, go as often as you can! My mom has dementia (early) but really seems to enjoy my company when I visit.
I can only tell you about my experience. My mother has been in a nursing home (alzheimer's floor) for the past 3 months. I visit every day for about 2 1/2 hours. It is still important to her . . . and to me. She still remembers me which helps and she can carry on a conversation, repetitive as it may be. A friend of mine who is 59 years old is at the same home on the same floor. Although he hardly speaks anymore and walks around in a daze it still helps him to have visits on some level. It doesn't matter that he probably can't remember me, although sometimes he seems to - quality of life should not change just because you're brain isn't up to par anymore.
I am also self employed which really helps. My advice is to make your decision dependent on what other responsibilities you have and what you feel is best for both of you. I would lean towards what is best for the loved one ;-) no matter how sad it may be.
Here's a really interesting link - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125869707 - which validates that visits matter.
I agree Mami. It is important that the staff see we haven't just dumped our parents off and leave them to the wind. Should that happen, and I doubt it will, but never say never, I would be there at all different times of the day and night so they wouldn't know when to expect me. That way they'd have to be on their p's and Q's.
Seems inportant to our parents that they know that we are still there for them anyway.
Again hasn't happened and I hope it doesn't, but should it, I will be there as often as possible.
Many people make the decision for placement based upon their inability to continue care at home. It is our belief that the nursing homes have the staff to provide that care. The training is there, but the numbers of trained personnel are not. We know the individual preferences and needs of our parent, they do not. There are typically three shifts working on any given day, which means at least three different staff members must interact with our parent. The numbers of residents multiplies the demands of the staff. There is no replacement for our involvement. If we could receive the help at home at this level, we would not place them in a nursing home because we provide the love and support that only family can provide. Therefore, our presence is terribly important and that includes asking questions, and even doing things for our parent while we are visiting. Our main concern is our parent, so my attitude is to roll up my sleeves and do everything that I can for my parent. This is not any easy road, but one that must be traveled. Our insights into the improvements needed must be communicated to the state elder care where you reside. Any egregious concerns often when not addressed by the facility may respond to the media.
Actually "I" enjoy(ed) visiting my mother as often as I could. Since it was a 180 trip for me (and I work for myself) I would travel down to see her, and then stay at my brothers (only 9 miles away) for four days at a time.
But it did surprise me how infrequently the rest of the residents got visitors. Why? didn't they have anyone? didn't anyone care about them anymore? Did they have more important things to do? Couldn't they find the time?
When I visited, I found the other 'golden girls' drawn to me and Mom like moths to a flame , and it made me feel so good that even if my mother was less than 'involved' with my visit, she would perk up when everyone else 'came to visit her too!' It was a win/win for both of us. She felt like she was having a tea party, and I felt like I was helping those that didn't get any visitors.
I was always aware of the 'facilities' schedules, and kept Mom on track there too. I never kept them from taking her to therapy, or meals, or bath times either. If she had therapy I would clean out Mom's closet, or arrange things (by day) for the nursing assistants.
I honestly can't think of many 'excuses' NOT to visit. Just wondering what kept others away. (not judging.. just wondering)
I don't have any expertise on the various types of dementia, but it seems to me that it would vary, depending on the case. I think if you let your intuition guide you, you would know what "feels" right to you.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
One thing I can't express enough is when you have a loved one in a nursing home, ask the CNA's or nurses to roll them over, if they are not able of course, and check their body for skin ulcers (bed sores), my Dad had FOUR on his body, one of which was a stage 4. Needless to say, he passed away from sepsis. He was so sick at the end and we did not know why he started pocketing his food. It was because he had an infection in his blood from the sores.
We have a lawsuit pending on this.
TRUST ME, nursing home staff DO NOT care for your loved one like a family member would.
Are you and your mother happy in each other's company or is this a chore ? What does nh staff say about her leaving with you?
My mom 93 is very dependent upon me - since her move to memory care in February I visit her min 3x a week usually at night after work and stay til she's asleep in bed
On Sunday I try to take her to dinner and sometimes a movie
Today I got there at 7 am gave her a shower took for lab work out for breakfast
Back to facility did jigsaw puzzles got her snacks and snuck out during her nap
My brother and sister never visit and if they did it would only be for a short time
I put myself in her shoes - I know how scared and alone she is but I'm exhausted all the time - it's getting to be too much after 9 mos
My mom is now in LTC after being in Assisted Living. The staff starting with the ladies at the front desk all the way to nursing staff are friendly and helpful. They are great with the Residents. I visit Mom once a week and I stay as long as she lets me. If I get there after dinner, she tells me she's tired and ready for bed. If I get there during the day she has some activity to go to so I better go she tells me.
It is still important to her . . . and to me. She still remembers me which helps and she can carry on a conversation, repetitive as it may be.
A friend of mine who is 59 years old is at the same home on the same floor. Although he hardly speaks anymore and walks around in a daze it still helps him to have visits on some level. It doesn't matter that he probably can't remember me, although sometimes he seems to - quality of life should not change just because you're brain isn't up to par anymore.
I am also self employed which really helps.
My advice is to make your decision dependent on what other responsibilities you have and what you feel is best for both of you. I would lean towards what is best for the loved one ;-) no matter how sad it may be.
Here's a really interesting link - http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125869707 - which validates that visits matter.
Seems inportant to our parents that they know that we are still there for them anyway.
Again hasn't happened and I hope it doesn't, but should it, I will be there as often as possible.
But it did surprise me how infrequently the rest of the residents got visitors. Why? didn't they have anyone? didn't anyone care about them anymore? Did they have more important things to do? Couldn't they find the time?
When I visited, I found the other 'golden girls' drawn to me and Mom like moths to a flame , and it made me feel so good that even if my mother was less than 'involved' with my visit, she would perk up when everyone else 'came to visit her too!' It was a win/win for both of us. She felt like she was having a tea party, and I felt like I was helping those that didn't get any visitors.
I was always aware of the 'facilities' schedules, and kept Mom on track there too. I never kept them from taking her to therapy, or meals, or bath times either. If she had therapy I would clean out Mom's closet, or arrange things (by day) for the nursing assistants.
I honestly can't think of many 'excuses' NOT to visit. Just wondering what kept others away. (not judging.. just wondering)
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