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I have no idea as how to classify the issue at hand since none of the topic choices seem to apply to my mother. She constantly repeats herself, sometimes as much as 3 times in succession. She has always been persistent in getting one's attention if she doesn't get an immediate response acknowledging that they have heard her. To describe my mother, most people are taken aback in thinking she's at least 10 yrs. younger than her 89 years. She has the memory of an elephant of days past & present; she puts me (68 yrs. old) as well as others to shame. Overall, my mother is in good health & takes a limited number of pills per day, prescription & over-the-counter: blood pressure, glaucoma eye drops (1 eye), diuretic as needed as well as over-the-counter meds low dose aspirin, allergy & multi-vitamin. She lives indendently within close distance of me & other family members. She has had a few nasty falls (uneven pavement & such) so she drives but a few blocks to the shopping center for groceries & yarn at a craft store. She knits & crochets avidly which helps to keep her mind sharp. Having said all this so that one gets the full picture of who she is, constantly repeating herself grates on my last nerve. My only sibling lives in another state so he & my sister-in-law only have to deal with the issue occasionally. It's driving my husband, daughter & son-in-law crazy. I, the dutiful first child who is with her the most & speaks to her at least 10 times every day, remind myself to be patient & respectful. I'll do anything, as I have all my life, not to hurt her feelings. I'm at a loss as to how to deal with her. The issue of her calling me all the time is another issue for another day!

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You are describing dementia symptoms of a forgetful person who repeats herself constantly, yet say she has the 'memory of an elephant', so it may not be dementia you're dealing with but something else. In fact, my mother always had the same tendency to repeat herself before she developed full blown dementia..........she'd tell you the same story at least 3x, especially if she found it to be a good story, or one where was 'right' and the other person was 'wrong'. I never did know WHAT was up with her predisposition to repeating herself.....but it was very irritating, to say the least. Nowadays, with dementia, the old days of repeating herself 3x seems like child's play by comparison to the 20x she repeats herself.

I'm not sure that knitting, crocheting, or anything else keeps an elder's mind very sharp after a certain age, and after a certain point in time. Nothing stops the ravages of time from catching up with a person, so do keep an eye on her, especially if she's taken falls. Has she had CT scans or MRIs after the falls? Has she hit her head in any of those falls, that you are aware of? Living alone at an advanced age becomes a dangerous thing. Have you considered getting her some in-home help for a few hours a day? If someone was there on a regular basis, they'd be able to see if she was exhibiting other odd behaviors in addition to repeating herself incessantly, you know? Maybe she's repeating other behaviors like loading & unloading the dishwasher, or some other OCD type activity that's new and unusual. THAT is the thing to look for: NEW behavior that may indicate disease or dementia at play.

Speaking to your mother 10x a day just adds to the aggravation factor, so why not let some of those calls go directly to voice mail? You can then screen the calls and answer only the 'urgent' ones, if there are any. Patience and respect go two ways............she needs to show some for you as well as the other way around. Most of us work SO hard at not hurting our loved one's feelings, that we wind up ignoring our OWN feelings in the process, which builds resentment and makes us want to run away from the whole mess. It's tough, I know.

Wishing you the best of luck moving forward.
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It's very frustrating to have to experience the repetition. Sadly, there really isn't a way to avoid it that I am aware. I would be prepared to accept that something is changing with your mother's short term memory. I'd try to find out why and also find out the extent. I'd do it quickly, since, she is in charge of her own medication. People who have short term memory lapses, don't recall what they did 30 seconds ago. So, they can take meds, then 30 seconds later take meds again. Beware of pill boxes, reminders, etc. they can be confusing for a person with memory issues and not actually help. They can also forget and leave the stove on. I'd stay with her to observe how she's doing in the home ASAP.

I'd suggest that you ask to spend a couple of days with her in her home, so you can see just what the status is. (You can say you're having exterminator come or painting.) Maybe, it's just the repeating, but, they may be other things you might see if you look behind the scenes. I'd chat with her neighbors. They often have stories to tell of things that concern them. They just don't know who to tell.

Maybe, she has a vitamin deficiency or a medication issue. I'd gather what you see and have her doctor check her out. He can do in office eval that should provide some answers. Make sure he knows about the repeating and any other observations. Check fridge for spoiled foods, unopened mail, dirty laundry, etc. Confirm she's really bathing and taking meds. She may say yes, but, it might not be reality.

The constant repeating happened with my LO and I was SHOCKED. She had very good memory of some things, but, not short term. Soon thereafter, the long term went too, though. I kept wondering what is going on. I had no idea. A friend asked if she had dementia and I said NO WAY. I didn't realize how things can develop.

And, if it's not dementia, I'd see if her doctor can figure it out.

I would try to count how many times my LO would repeat something in 15 minutes. Sort of like a game I played to keep my sanity. I learned that telling her she was repeating things over and over didn't matter. It hurt her feelings, but, she'd forget and kept on repeating. So, there's no way to stop it, except change the subject, distract her with an activity or take a break and let someone else supervise her.
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Same thing happened with my LO. First it was asking "What are we having for lunch?" then telling her we just had lunch then about a minute later the same question. Repeating. Your mom has short-term memory loss. My 96-yr old Gramma couldn't remember a thing she did or said the minute prior but could recite nursery rhymes she learned as a toddler.

My MIL had short-term memory loss while living alone and she was not remembering to eat. She also lost the memory of how to work the microwave, stove and oven (which I always found weird since you'd thing those things would be in her long-term). Sunnygirl is correct in alerting you to your mom over-taking her meds or not taking them at all. If you do not provide in-home care or transition her to a facility then someone will need to give her the meds daily and then remove them so she can't take more. Also, you do not need to answer every call she makes to you. I know this sounds hard but there's just no point. Let is go to voice message and if she remembers why she called you she will leave a message. My MIL would call me and literally forget why the second I answered. Teepa Snow has some very informative videos on YouTube about dementia and I recommend watching them so you understand what you're dealing with. I wish you all the best as you learn about and journey down this path with your mom.
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