How to deal with selling your childhood house when wife is against it?

The focus of you plans should be strictly business, without any interference from emotions. Try to convince your wife that emotions and business do not mix. If needed, you may consult a financial advisor or accountant for advice. You have to get moving forward, do not get stuck in the past.

I assume you inherited the house. That means it's yours and is not community property. Your wife gets zero say in your decision.

I would also keep the money from the sale in a separate account in your name only. Once you co-mingle community property and inheritances, it all becomes community property.

My brother and I have recently inherited my parents' house and we plan to sell it. My husband, who has decided he's now a real estate mogul is disgusted that we aren't keeping it and renting it for $7k/month. Mind you, it's a 90-year-old house with one electric socket per room, a kitchen last updated in 1969, and two broken chimneys that were damaged and remain unrepaired since an earthquake in 1988.

No one in their right mind would pay $7,000 per month to rent it, and we're not interested in being landlords nor spending around $300,000 to fix it up. Fortunately, my husband can rant and rave all he wants -- he does not own the house, nor does he get a say. Neither does your wife.

We're in the process of selling the home we've lived in for 43 years, the one in which we raised 5 kids and have such wonderful memories. I have moments when I have to stop and have a little 'cry' b/c in my heart I know we're doing the right thing and everything that has happened towards the 'new move' has fallen in to place so smoothly--we actually got the 'new house' for $150K less than they were initially asking--we're buying a 3200 sf home when we are empty nesters when the house we raised the kids in was under 1800 sf. I don't have enough furniture to put in this place--so I think it will be pretty spare.

There was minimal talk of renting our current home, and loving our neighbors as we do--it was not even an issue. Renters will ruin a house in a hot minute. We're selling to our nephew and his wife. A new young family!

Letting emotions run the deal is a very bad idea. This is not your wife's home, it was yours. It's actually sweet that she cares so much, means she has good memories and that is wonderful. When my MIL dies, I probably won't ever go back into that house.

Change is hard, and the older we get, the harder it is. I am really struggling with a resurgence of the depression/anxiety than has dogged me for years. Everyday is a challenge.

Some people are OK with being landlords--my daughter is one, so is my nephew...and they have a VERY high tolerance for their renters and the ensuing problems. My sister has had 3 suicides in her places (they're basically slums) and that adds a whole other level of drama. I couldn't bear it.

I have flower bulbs that came from MY grandmother's yard and after they bloom in Spring, I will dig them up to plant at my new house. I'm not overly sentimental, but these mean a lot to me.

Don't do a ton of work on the house--our new one only has to be 'broom clean' and we are actually NOT allowed to do any touch up painting or anything besides deep cleaning.

Good Luck--my heart feels for you.

You just gave your wife credit, and you have done, so that's great, but this decision is YOURS. A rental, esp one in bad repair is for me a nightmare of a thought, and I would be selling. This is your decision. You will have to thank all for their input and make it on your own. I think it is a good time for buyers now with interests rates as low as they perhaps will be for many years. Things in general are selling well. So that would be my decision, but I am "of an age" and don't want to mess with all the problems of bad rentals or bad septic. This is a decision only YOU can make and only you SHOULD make.

You do not want to rent. Renters do not take care of property they are renting. You can't request no children, against the law. If you say no animals, they still sneak them in. You have to paint and change carpeting every so many years. Every time you rent to new tenants, you need a CEO from the Township. If thousands of dollars worth of damages have been done, that comes out of your pocket. Then there are people that don't pay rent and you have to go thru the court to evict them which costs you time and money. You may want to go to your County housing board and see what you need to do to rent. Laws concerning landlords and tenant rights. You may be responsible for more than you think. You have rights but sometimes the renter has more. In the long run, you may see no profit.

Right now you have someone willing to buy it as is. Get an assessor in there to see what it is worth "as is". Then sell it . I, personally, would not take this on.

I would encourage her to think about it like this.

Tenants have rights and they are favored by the courts. So even though you own the house, you can not just kick them out, no matter what they are doing or not doing, like paying rent. Thousands of landlords are scrambling to make ends meet right now because they couldn't evict anyone for any reason, yet all of their expenses continued. It takes months to get someone out, at your expense.

Everything that breaks or needs maintenance is at your expense. The law governs how quickly it needs to be dealt with.

You still need to carry fire insurance and pay property taxes. So that comes right off the top of rent received. Along with all maintenance and repair.

Some tenants gripe about everything, anything and nothing.

An outdated house may not get quality renters, so you will be dealing with issues all the time. Neighbors being angry because of what your tenants are doing will be calling you as the owner.

Renters that get evicted tend to tear the place up and it takes time and money to get it rentable again.

We had a house that was in a gated community, high rent district and the people let their animals use the brand new carpet as a toilet. Fortunately, we had required pet insurance and a huge deposit but, we couldn't rent the house until all the carpet was replaced. It was 2 months with no tenants, which meant a vacant property insurance rider that cost hundreds monthly. Not even mentioning that they were constantly violating the HOA rules and we were notified as the owners.

Oh, we bought this house and the prior renters had stolen everything that wasn't part of the structure, right down to the light switch covers, door knobs, carpet, padding, bathtub fixtures, toilets, counters, cabinets and everything else. No recourse for the prior owners, so they sold, they couldn't afford the 60k to replace everything that had been stolen.

Tell her from me, you don't have any idea what a burr in your butt is until you have been a landlord and it has to be a money maker to make it worth the trouble and one outdated house is not a money maker. We were happy campers when we were able to sell that place.

There are easier ways to increase your monthly income.

In case it comes to it. Inheritance is NOT community property, unless you place the money in a joint account. From a legal stand, she doesn't actually have any say because it is your sole and separate property.

This is YOUR parents home, not your wife's parents home. You say she took care of your dad for "a few days at the end" so where is this huge attachment to the house and the belongings coming from, I don't get it? Normally it would be YOU not wanting to sell and HER pushing you to, but this situation is reversed. Hanging onto a dated old home is a black hole of expenses and a drain on your savings which affects your wife's finances as well as yours. If she's depressed and that depression is coming out in the form of wanting to hold onto the memories this house holds, then she needs to see her doctor to talk about anti depressants. If that's not the issue, then make an appointment with your financial advisor so he or she can explain the advantages of selling this home to your wife. Expanding your investment portfolio now will secure the financial future for both of you and is the wisest idea of all. Perhaps if a financial person explains that to her she can wrap her mind around selling the house and getting past whatever is blocking her from agreeing to it.

I am an only child too so it was hard for me to donate my father's clothes after he died. I saved quite a lot of them and my step daughter took 6 or 7 shirts home with her when she was here visiting, unbeknownst to me. She had stuffed animals made with dad's shirts in patches and sent them to me! An elephant, a bear and a dog. Once I had those mementos of dad, I was able to donate the rest of his clothing without a problem. Maybe you can do something similar with your parents clothes to keep their memory alive thru pieces of their clothing you fondly remember them wearing.

Wishing you the best of luck

I agree with selling. It'd be a HUGE hassle to fix the house up and then another hassle dealing with renters. Sometimes you're lucky, sometimes you're not.

Tell her you're sorry but you really want to sell and just be done with it. Ask her what will make this easier for her. She might not know but show an interest in her feelings about this. But go ahead and sell!

Your wife seems to viewing the house through a lens of memories, fondness & emotion.

I am not suggesting you are looking via a cold-hearted business mind - no, no. Just that you can separate the emotional loss of your childhood home from the actual building that stands before you.

Would your wife be open to a kindly suggestion for some counselling around this issue? To me it sounds like she may need a little help with this emotional adjustment - and that's OK!

If not, would taking photos of items help? Making a memory book? Selecting only say 6 objects that truly bring the best memories? Kind of KonMari style.. keep a few, thank the rest & let them go. Sounds silly but I fully intend to thank this house when I move. I have many fond memories of things that happened here within these walls - but they will live on in my mind, I don't need to keep the actual walls.

I would sell the house. It takes a certain amount of fortitude to rent. If the house is dated there likely will be issues and a tenant may want items replaced. I think that would be a headache for you. I know you may have fond memories but selling would give you freedom.

I an sorry your wife is not being supportive. It really is your decision. I hope this does not drive a wedge between the two of you. Your post really shows you want to sell and if you have an interested buyer that is fortunate for you. Good luck with what happens.

I could completely understand your wife’s resistance if this were HER childhood home.
If her name is not on the deed then in reality she has no say in what you do with the house.
Also if it was left to you, she has little to say in what happens to it.
I think if she sat down with a realtor and understood what is involved with being a landlord and the risks involved she would see that selling is the best option.
Please make sure that the sale that you have lined up is Fair Market Value.
Obviously your other option is to sell your other house and move into your childhood home and renovate if you wish.
If you are taking votes…put me in the sell the older, outdated house column