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He accuses me of "playing dumb" to avoid doing something or just trying to make him look foolish. When he starts speaking gibberish, I know we're in for an argument. I need an Alzheimer's dictionary!

Just respond "Is that so?...." or "What do you think about that, then?" or "Lordy, my ears are getting soooooo bad. Can you repeat that, hon".
You know the drill. You are dealing with someone with dementia, meaning there's just not a lot you can do. Some dementias have more "anger" associated, FTD, Lewy's, etc.
There's no understanding it. You now are well and he has dementia. I know you know that means you are speaking different languages now as surely as though you were speaking English and he, Greek.
Lots of things regarding this disease have no answer. This is one.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I'm with Alva...
You learn to respond with
I didn't realize that
Can you tell me more
That's interesting
Let me go get a drink and when I get back you can tell me more. (no reason you have to return right away)
If you think you are in for an argument...WALK A WAY. Don't engage. If you start to respond in a way that will set him off it will just spiral.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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He probably has some version of aphasia.

"Treatment

Primary progressive aphasia can't be cured, and there are no medicines to treat it. However, some therapies might help improve or maintain your ability to communicate and manage your condition.

Speech and language therapy:
Working with a speech-language pathologist, focusing primarily on ways to make up for lost language skills, can be helpful. Although speech and language therapy can't stop the progression of the condition, it can help you manage your condition. The therapy also may slow the progression of some symptoms.

Physical and occupational therapy:
In cases where symptoms affect movement and balance, working with a physical therapist and occupational therapist can help manage the symptoms."

Source: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/primary-progressive-aphasia/symptoms-causes/syc-20350499
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Reply to Geaton777
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In my home, these past few weeks, I get discouraged because it seems
e v e r y t h i ng requires a long conversation leading to disagreement.
He focuses on the meaning or definition of one word and not on the topic at hand. And it's not all him, it's me losing patience, unable to speak his language.
I have to walk away.

The thing is, that it comes and goes. There is no diagnosis of dementia, but you should see his drawing of a clock! You cannot fault him, it is not wrong, it is just different than everybody else's clock.

His doctor gave him a mini-mental exam a year ago. She did not catch his errors because she speaks a different language, not English as a first language.
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Reply to Sendhelp
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Grandma1954 May 9, 2024
I am going to comment on your reply...
You should make an appointment with a Neurologist or a Neuropsychologist.
With further more in depth exam you should get an accurate diagnosis.
As far as the drawing of the clock...if he did not draw a traditional analog clock with the 12 at the top, the 3, 6 and 9 in the proper place. And the hands pointing to the time that was asked for then his clock IS wrong.
You can say it is just different than everyone else's clock but that is you denying the fact. It does not help him nor you.
The fact that his doctor did not catch his "errors" because she spoke a different language should have made you push to get him to a different doctor so an accurate test could be done. You are an advocate for him and that means that you do what you can to help him get the medical care that he needs. Just as you would advocate for yourself if you thought that your doctor misdiagnosed you.
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Tell him he's the one whose dumb because you can't understand his ridiculous gibberish.
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Reply to sp196902
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Grandma1954 May 9, 2024
the problem with dementia is that to him it is not gibberish.
I would not advise telling anyone they are "dumb"
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