My 70-year-old husband, who suffered a massive stroke 4 months ago, remains in a sub acute rehab. Progressing very slowly, if at all. Now his brother who visits once a week (I'm there almost every day) is attacking the nurses over what he feels is inadequate care and attention. He's a huge fall risk and there are rules in place to assure his safety. His brother does not see the big picture....i.e., this could go on for many months. I'm already stressed out and have no idea how to handle family members with a short fuse and unreasonable expectations. Picking fights with the nurses will not speed up this process. Has anyone else dealt with this? The staff tells me they hear it all the time. We should be supporting one another let alone my husband. Any advice much appreciated. Thank you.
You tell them that you are in charge and complaints should be brought to YOU and that if harassment of the facility continues then the visits will be STOPPED and you simply will not allow this to continue.
Sorry. There's no way around this but honesty. Either this person can control himself or he cannot. And if he cannot then he cannot continue to visit. You might inform him that perfection doesn't exist in elder care, but making a person trapped there the enemy because his family is hated is a very poor way to aim at perfection.
Best of luck
whether or not you are / have been about to be tough with family, this is a time to be tough. Let him know that if he has any concerns, he has to tell them to you. He is not allowed to directly address the nurses and staff. That is how it is.
This is the type of scenario where taking a hard line by you is needed
It really is as simple as that.
You and your husband deserve to be around people that will be encouraging to you both and not ones that are adding more stress to an already stressful situation.
Best wishes in using your voice to advocate for your husband.
My daughter had a resident who's sister visited every day, both elserly. The sister was not on the HIPAA forms but since she was only family who visited my daughter gave her info. This was a NH. Then one day the sister went beserk screaming about all the bandaids on her sister's hands. Daughter tried to tell her they were covering skin tears not the staff was abusing the resident. To quiet the sister down she had to tell her she was not going to give her anymore info if she did not settle down.p because she actually was not suppose to because she was not on the HIPAA forms.
Add a note each time you drop something off, telling them how much you appreciate their work, and their kind, compassionate care they take with your husband.
You could also include a few words apologizing for your critical family members. These might go a long way.