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Mom is 88 lives in ALF as "independent," not really though. She is not diagnosed but definitely has issues. She has a "stalker" who knocks on her door and rings jingle bells at night. She recently went to the ER for Covid and a nurse noticed when she went to the bathroom she put her dominant finger up her rectum, apparently to help herself defecate. I was in the room but did not see it as I turn my back when mom is using bathroom.



When the nurse asked her if she did that all of the time she said I don't know. I have noticed she has feces on the seat of the toilet often, and it appears that she's got it on the right side - which would be explained if she often has done this manual thing. Is this just a case for laxatives? Metamucil? The ALF does give her medications, so I could simply add it to the list… just looking for some help. Thanks.

My mom used to have to do that. She kept disposable gloves in the bathroom to use. After birthing 8 children, I think her pelvic floor muscles were in pretty poor shape and she had frequent troubles with her bowels. The doctor did some minor surgery and then referred her to a therapist who specialized in helping patients with problems in that area. She taught her some exercises and gave advice to facilitate her movements. It did help, though it was not a cure.
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Reply to TopsailJanet
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I think you should talk to her doctor about what's best for her. They will probably say something like metamusel.

Until then I think you should definitely keep your moms nails as short as you can , so she doesn't scratch herself. And id carry baby wipes around with me and wash her hands good when I was visiting.
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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She's in ALF, does she clean her hands before heading to the dining room ( if she eats her meals there)?
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Reply to cover9339
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You have a situation with your mother that requires quite a bit of medical diagnoses. Behavior that certainly sounds like dementia, with hearing things and believing she has a stalker, and now with bathroom issues. Nobody here can tell you why mom is doing what she's doing, and neither can SHE, meaning who knows if she needs a laxative or what??? Please make an appointment to have her seen by her PCP as soon as possible, and to also be tested for dementia.

I hope your mother is getting showered by the staff so you know that's being done 2x a week at least. Now is not the time to give her privacy in the bathroom or total independence, especially while she's got caregivers available to her!
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Reply to lealonnie1
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There are doctors who specialize in pelvic floor issues. Some things can be repaired. I’m mentioning this because the problem may involve pressure on the rectum from other organs. My friend recently had surgery to repair injuries leading to pelvic floor issues.
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Reply to Fawnby
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