Mom lives in care home 3 years now.
Despite adjusted meds for anxiety & combative behaviors, she still "has to go home and cook for her husband before he comes home." My dad passed away 36 yrs. Ago. She wonders why he didn't call or say where he is. She says she "only visits the carehome, doesn't live there".
Caregiver tries all distractions, including going for car rides & short walks, but mom is still saying she has to go home when they get back-determined to leave.
This happens everyday.
I think that having a "job" is so helpful when they are compulsively focused on doing something, give them something to do.
While she may not be allowed in the kitchen (depending on health department regulations) they could have her set the table, do some early prepping like scrubbing potatoes, peeling potatoes, measuring some ingredients.
Good luck, this is something that will not really just "go away" and adjusting or different meds did not actually change the events.
this is where I bought most of my equipment.
If your mother is not in a locked down Memory Care facility and has access to getting out of there, that's a problem that needs to be fixed immediately. If she's already in a locked down facility, then she cannot get out and 'go home', so you have nothing to worry about. If you feel that her anxiety is too high at this point, her doctor may be able to prescribe a stronger sedative to keep her calmer. But even so, the 'wanting to go home' scenario is very common with dementia. You may try getting her a baby doll with a blanket to swaddle it in; many, many times, caring for a baby gives the resident something useful to focus on and takes away the anxiety of wanting to go home to fix her husband dinner. She'll have another important duty to be involved with instead, you know?
Best of luck!
He was spry too like you’re mom. He’d just pop up and head out quick as a bunny.
There is no easy answer. Dad has just recently calmed down due to his dementia increasing and his mobility decreasing. He’s been in two facilities and they were both very good at redirecting but he was a tough case.
You mom may be ready for memory care that is locked down. Sounds horrible but she’s gotta be safe.
My dad was fine in memory care. He wander to one door, take about an hour to meander to the other end, chat with other residents and aides then go try again.
He had no short term memory at this point but driving, well that’s long term, something he did for 70 years.
My mom just started " looking for her car cause she left the keys inside"! CG takes her out to look for it, then goes back inside, then outside again. CG figures if she walks outside awhile might help tire mom out and help her sleep...