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First off I’d like to thank everyone for helping me realize I don’t need to be visiting my mom 3 times a week as I am burned out from several years of care. She is now in long-term care and she’s safe and the place is wonderful So with everyone’s advice and the social worker at the facility telling me I need to take a mental break, I now go once a week. The other days it still occupies my mind to the point where it’s still causing me so much anxiety. I know I’m doing this to myself but how do I shut it down for my mental well being. Please help me. Thank you all so much

Congratulations on taking the advice you were given and on discussing this with social workers and the facility. Really, so few people do take advice and begin working on things.
This isn't an overnight miracle. This takes time and the retraining of your brain.
Get yourself out more now in your own right. ANYTHING. A painting class, learn to knit, book class, faith based community, volunteering, fostering animals, making jewelry, painting rooms, listening to podcasts (any subject other than elder care!), journaling, collage, library, walking, gardening, cactus garden in the window.
Not, not all of them. Just some.
You are retraining a brain that is well trained in what it had to do.
You are a bit like the old mill horse that pulled the millwheel around in a circle grinding the wheat. When let out to pasture he walked a circle around a tree. Endless circles even when the need was gone.

I personally think you are doing GREAT. Just keep on keeping on. In a year or so, if you don't see it getting a bit better, then you can consider some sessions with a good cognitive therapist. But for now you are doing well.
Congratulations!
So happy with this update. We get so few.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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Learn to meditate - A Good teacher is Thomas victor carroll On Instagram - Famous surfer he tapes his meditations and does them Live around 3:50 pm Eastern time on Quiksilver and also Wednesdays and Fridays On his page . Exercise helps I try and bike and swim everyday or walk . Gardening is helpful . Start Hobbies .
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Reply to KNance72
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Oh I understand that completely! I do mindfulness, to get you where you are in the moment, and not where your mom is. Close your eyes, take 3 deep breaths, hear 3 things, smell 3 things. That helps me a lot with intrusive thoughts
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Reply to Anxietynacy
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I use my subconscious mind it is the controller of my conscious mind. The conscious mind believes what it is fed by the subconscious mind.

Every night just as you lay down, tell your subconscious something to the effect " I will no longer worry about my mother, she is safe and well cared for"

You must say the same thing every night, after a short period of time your conscious mind will believe it and you will no longer be so anxious about her well-being.

Then move on to something else if needed.

There are some wonderful reads on the subconscious mind, might want to do a little research.

Take care of you!
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Reply to MeDolly
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Anxietynacy Jun 21, 2024
I like that, and I do that without realizing it was a subconscious mind thing. I'm going to look more into that too
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