Both of her parents are elderly, in poor health and deny needing help. It is clearly unsafe for them to live alone and they routinely call 911 for assistance. My partner and her siblings feel "there's nothing they can do" and rush over when necessary to handle the crisis of the day. I'm tired of feeling alone and frustrated. Our relationship is routinely shelved because "elderly parents who will die soon" trumps needy partner. I'm just at a loss - and this has been going on 7 years now.
Instead of staying home sulking and waiting for crumbs, tag along the next time she rushes out to tend to her parents and see for yourself what's eroding your relationship. After all, aren't you supposed to be partners and share just about everything? If she says you don't have to come, insist and tell her you're going to help whether she likes it or not. If she still tries to talk you out of it, tell her it's time for truth between the two of you and that you'll be -- as always -- waiting at home for that heart-to-heart Naheaton suggested. Both of you, sooner or later, will have to reach a realistic and practical compromise that benefits both. Otherwise I don't see any reason why anyone should have to sit around in a time warp, watch the years go by, and then have nothing to show for them.
-- ED
Maybe a family meeting to work out problems and, like the above response, scheduling some additional (outside) help will give your partner, and you, a break. I'm sure your willing participation (and praying a lot) might help you overcome some resentment. ♥