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My 78 y/o MIL is in a skilled nursing facility, and has been so for about 9 months. She is a very kind person, and pretty easy to care for. However, she has recently started to push back on letting the aides "refresh" (clean) her. The aides have had to motivate her by reminding her that one of us is coming for a visit and that she will want to be clean for us. Are there other tactics we can employ to nudge her to allow them to give her a shower?

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Some times when they push back its because they are hurting. Maybe a UTI, maybe arthritis, maybe fear.
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You know by law she cannot be forced to do anything she wants to. I think the tactic your coming so she needs to freshen up in a good one. My daughter says you let them think they made the decision. "Mrs. P don't you think you will feel so much better with a nice bath and clean clothes?" Thats giving them the choice. You don't like being bossed around, either do the elderly.
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IMO there is really nothing "refreshing" or pleasant about getting showered in a nursing home setting: the shower room is going to feel cold and institutional and the aides are going to be in a rush because that's the nature of the job, plus there's the whole getting naked in front of strangers and having their hands all over your body.
You could start by asking her why she is resistant (if you have that kind of relationship), but some possibilities might be: she's just too tired, because she isn't physically active she doesn't feel the need, there is an aide that has embarrassed her or hurt her.
My mom's nursing home had a huge spa tub that residents were helped into with a sling lift, although some found the lift a little scary the ability to be immersed in warm water was something many bath lovers had had to do without for years and was very popular - does your facility have this option?
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Thanks to each of you for your insights and kind replies. Cwillie, To be honest, we have never seen the tub or shower, because it isnt in her room. Maybe we can inquire. Thanks JoAnn29 for confirming the good tactic :) We will continue to use that one. And Ohwow323, I think she is good, she would let us know if she is in pain. I just really think sometimes her stubborn streak helps her to cope, and its a way of her taking some control of her day.
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