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My parents are 85 years old and when my sisters bring their large dogs over my parents can’t even get up and walk around. It is only a matter of time before these dogs knock them over. They are large not well behaved dogs at all. I don’t blame the dogs on this. I need to address this issue and I don’t think it is going to be well received. Please help! Everyone is going to feel just awful when they knock my mother over who is 120 pounds. I need help!

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Just tell them DO NOT BRING THOSE FREAKING ANIMALS OVER TO OUR PARENTS' HOUSE ANYMORE, IT'S TOO DANGEROUS. It blows my mind the pure lack of common sense that people exhibit these days. My stepson thought nothing of bringing his giant out of control dogs over to my house until I told him No More. They haven't been back since. I love animals, but not if they're going to wreck my house or cause a parent to fall.
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Nanaanna Aug 2019
this is how I truly feel! Thank you on so many levels for your honesty
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Do your parents love the dog visits? Firstly I would ask that, because it's important. I think in the end it was only animal visits that kept my Mom going.
Let's say they love the dogs coming over. Then I would gently say "You know Mom and Dad love those great dogs of your; they give them a new lease on life; but they are so exhuberant I am a scardy cat about what might happen. Is there any way they could come on leash and then be in another gated room later. Their skin is fragile, they fall easier; I know it's silly but it has me on pins and needles every time".
If Mom and Dad hate them, ha ha, it's easier. It is just "You know I think Mom and Dad are a bit scared by the dogs; they are more prone to stumbles, falls, bleeding from a happy jump. And it scares the life out of me. Is there any way you could visit without them? Or have them gated in another part of the house? I hate to ask, but...............
and blah blah.
If nothing works, it might have to be less pretty. As someone said on another thread, something WILL happen. And then it will get addressed. Let's just hope the something isn't bad.
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My SIL never saw that bringing their dogs would be a problem. My parents lived close to the road. We had a dog hit so Dad banned them. When brother's dogs were there all Dad did was worry. Not good for his B/P.

I think its up to your parents to ask sister not to bring the dogs. And for the reason you have stated, they may fall trying to get around them. My DH has no problem telling people no dogs.
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This amazes me. What is more important, the dogs or your parents? Your parents' broken bones or your sisters' hurt feelings? Why are you even hesitating - the dogs aren't safe with your parents!
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Nanaanna Aug 2019
Thank you I needed to hear this.
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This will not be easy and your sisters will probably be mad, BUT too bad. Your parents are old and need to be protected.

So, you can be calm and polite about it. Ask if they've ever noticed that your parents can't get up and walk around when the dogs are there? You don't have to say anything about the dogs not being well behaved. Just that it's a fall risk for your parents and imagine how bad everyone would feel if they got tangled up with the dog and hurt themselves?

Good luck.
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I bet the dogs being together will get each other into a frenzy.... thus, what about bringing one dog at a time? That might be calmer.

The same could be said about cats. The three I had when my parents were alive and would visit us, the cats were easy going [they were elder cats] and never got underfoot. My parents and those three cats have since passed, and the current cat I have wouldn't be good with elders as she runs likes she is on a high speed police pursuit, thus someone would get knocked over.
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I have not read the replies, yet, but I do have dogs and just got back from Mum's house and the dogs came with me.

My dogs are small 20 and 10 pounds. Mum has a much larger Pitty cross and all the dogs get along.

Anyway back to the visit. You are not said if the sisters are visiting form out of town or across town? If they are in town, then the dogs could stay home. If they are coming from out of town, they cannot leave the dogs in the car, so another arrangement needs to be made.

Is there a room in the house the dogs can be put into? Is there a fenced yard?

Now I used to have a larger dog and she came everywhere with me. She was a rescue and could not be kenneled. When we visited Dad she stayed in the utility room. She could see us through the open doorway. She would have preferred to be at my side, but this was a workable compromise.

The time to talk about this is not when the dogs are at your parents house. The time to talk about this is between visits. Bring it up as your concern about your parents falling, losing their balance and perhaps tripping over the dogs.

If your sisters are coming from out of town, do some research on local doggy day cares or other options for the dogs during the visit. Talk to the doggy day cares as the ones I have used need up to date vet records and usually a trial visit before a longer one.
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I would be concerned about the dogs getting hurt, too.
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MargaretMcKen Aug 2019
Sure, parents might fall on them and give them a nasty bruise?
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I totally get that...we had well-meaning relatives who brought over their giant, energetic young lab to romp wildly around my 2 aunties in their 90s. I was so concerned for their safety that I didn't allow them to stand up the entire visit (so they couldn't get knocked down) BUT they *totally* enjoyed the dog! I felt a little guilty for being so upset about it. I would ask your LOs if they liked having the dogs there. If so, maybe think if there's any way to bring the dogs over safely? Most people love being around well-behaved animals. They bring around comfort dogs in my MILs NH and she loves that.
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Back to the dogs.

Different families have different ways of being with their dogs. My family has always included dogs at events, parties, holidays, camping and more. My extended family is the same. Nobody would think to ask 'can I bring the dog?' as it is assumed the dog will come too.

Other families keep their dog at home, still more choose not to have dogs at all.

My dogs know they are going somewhere later today. They have seen me packing up for the weekend and know when they see me move the crate that they will be going into the car next.

Where we are going is a place where the neighbours have let their dogs roam freely for the past 50 years. And you know what? There has never been a fight or an issue. I know now everybody wants dogs leashed up all the time or contained in a yard, but we have 11 unfenced acres, lots of roam for the dogs to roam. The neighbours have smaller properties, but my dogs go to their places and theirs come to ours.

Op have you talked to your parents about the visits? How do they feel? Do they like to see the dogs?
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worriedinCali Aug 2019
Very true, different families have different ways of being with their dogs.

my dog is part of the family. He’s a small dog, a 15lb terrier mutt.He’s completely indoors ever since our other dog died 4-5 years ago. He seems to suffer from anxiety now that his companion is gone. Anyway my in-laws never cared for animals much. They especially did not like animals in the house. They would have rather we put the dog outside when they visited but I never did. My husband would put him out and I would let him right back in. It’s the dogs house and it’s not like he ever jumped on anyone. He might sit and watch you while you eat, hoping you dropped something but he never jumps on anyone. I don’t care if someone doesn’t like dogs or what, they don’t have to come over. If they want to come over, then they have to accept that the dog is in the house. I’m not going to put my dog outside & trigger his anxiety not to mention upset the neighbors with his nonstop barking, just because you don’t like dogs. Don’t come over then. Luckily all our friends are dog people & allow their dogs in the house too so I’ve never actually had to be rude and tell them to deal with the dog or not come over LOL!

I’m 5’3” and love dogs of all sizes. I would love to have a big dog again but the husband says no more animals.
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