My husband and i have taken in his mom with alzheimer's, while her husband is still alive he no longer wants to deal with her and is actually living thousands of miles away. My problem is that he is collecting her ss and has sent some money in the past for her he seems to be slowly pulling away from us and her and i feel it's because he doesn't want to keep sending money. we are not asking him for her whole check but i just feel it is wrong that he keeps all her money and she constantly asks us about it and we don't know what to say, we've told him that she wants her own money because she earned it and he threatens to put her in a home. I will stick money in her purse so she has some when we go out but i get so angry that he doesn't want anything to do with her but he'll keep taking her money.what should we do?
You are very kind to take her in. I know Alz is tough to deal with, but this kind of treatment makes me want to cry.
Bless you and good luck
You may/may not have to petition the Probate Court for Guardianship and Conservatorship. It's a hard way to have to go, because it's a LOT of work. He and all interested parties have to be notified of it, and he will probably fight you for it, and maybe win. You may want to get legal advice from a good Elder Law Attorney.
Just because they're married doesn't mean he's entitled to her Social Security. In fact, if they aren't living together, that could be considered fraud. Again, get legal advice. But definitely go to the bank, then SS first thing Monday.
Let him find his own way. Does he have his own money too? Is he working or retired? Is he old enough for his own Social Security?