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My dad was raised to believe you HAD to have a good BM first thing in the morning and as smart as this man was---he was a little obsessed with this.

Dementia makes it a whole new ballgame. We'd just have to lie to daddy and he'd believe us. As he got worse, he'd obsess a little more.

I agree--have him checked for hemorrhoids. Those can make it feel like he needs to 'go' when there is simply some swelling that can be helped.
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Obsessive thoughts & behaviors in general are common with dementia/Alzheimer's, especially as the wretched disease progresses, unfortunately. Check with your husband's doctor to see if there is a medication that can be prescribed to calm the OCD down a bit so both of you can relax with this obsession he's having.

Good luck!
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Men and their bowels! It's an obsession with them from teen years until they die. My sons were obsessed when they were teens, my husband moans and groans about being a couple of hours "overdue," and my dad was freaked out about possible constipation when he was dying of cancer.

I have nothing better to offer than what has already been said here, but I think men are somehow wired to obsess about their bowel movements. :-)
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We had this with my sister. She had a period of time where all she wanted was to sit on the toilet. Even when she went out all she wanted was to find a public toilet. It went on for a while and then, like most of the phases of Alzheimers, it stopped. We sometimes just had to leave her on the loo for quite a while so that she was content for a while. It's a difficult phase but it should pass. Good luck.
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My mom is obsessed with sitting on the toilet too. Goes through a whole roll or more of TP every day. Sometimes she falls asleep on the toilet. For a while she was flushing all kinds of objects down the toilet, so there were several clogged toilet incidents. She even took one of the cardboard cores, cut it up and flushed it down. Since then, I take the cardboard out of the TP before she gets it. (And, yes, I know there are coreless rolls, I don't want to pay more for them.) One of her phones is by the toilet and 3 out of 4 times we call, she is on the toilet.

It seems like a common obsession.
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My mom who’s 78 and has dementia is also going through the same thing right now. She phones me daily to complain that she’s constipated and the Sister at her frail-care won’t give her medication. Tells me she hasn’t been to the toilet in days, when in reality the Sister monitors all her bowel movements and medicates accordingly. She wants me to sneak medication in for her so she can take it when she’s constipated but she forgets that she’s been. It’s got so bad that I’m thinking of just giving her a few sugar pills to “hide” in her room (I’ll still tell the Sister) so she thinks she has control. She also gets a bit aggressive with me when I tell her she has been to the toilet and doesn’t need meds - she says “how would I know - do I trust what the Sisters say”. It’s very difficult and I hope, for the both of us, this phase passes soon. All the best dealing with such a difficult situation.
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princessasa Nov 2021
Laxatives are addictive & a tolerance forms over time..meaning a lot more of the same medication is needed to get the same result. This is turn weakens the bowel so it cannot function correctly. Constipation means all the waste is not being emptied, which in turn is causing irritation, inflammation and upset (as you are aware) for the patient. The following help with bowel function: Flax seed tea, alfalfa tablets, dried fruits (especially prunes & figs) soaked in hot water for min. 8 hours. Plenty of vegetables..sprouts, salad whenever bread is eaten. Foods with soluble & insoluble fibre (google has lists) Yellow vegetables (due to magnesium content) corn meal x 2 times a week for breakfast, butternut squash, pumpkin,...Exercise is crucial...even a walk around the ward x 2 times daily. If she is unable to walk you could get her a mini trampoline that she uses to just press her feet on as she sits on the chair/bed each day to move the circulation and lymph
Abdominal massage with a little oil warmed in your hands (move the hands in a clockwise motion). Distilled water is so important...Perhaps you could take some gallon bottles of distilled & a drinking sized bottle when you visit. The body will respond nicely if you give it the exercise, water, foods & wholesome supplements it needs to function in a healthy way
In a medical system nurses consider 1BM a day healthy...regardless of the size or quantity of waste...this is inaccurate. The bowel is designed to empty after each meal. Listen to your Mother please. Even if you are able/willing to instigate some of the above suggestions it will improve her health & well being.
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Maybe he feels he's not "cleaned out" enough.
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Have you told the doctor about this? Alzheimer’s can affect bodily functions. My brother in law could sense the need but his body could not eliminate. It led to impaction and hospitalization.
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Obsessions are common with dementia. He may feel constipated or feel urge to defecate. Please address this with his doctor to make sure he doesn't have a gi tract problem. If that checks out ok, the best option may be to put him on a toileting schedule - every 2 hours on the toilet while he is awake. Divert his attention to other topics or activities the rest of the time.
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Having a bowel movement is something he understands and is able to do. As others have said, this particular obsession may not last forever. If he is not causing himself any harm, let him visit the toilet as often as he feels the need.
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