My husband is in AL Memory Care for 5 months. I visit him every day. They say he is adjusting and is doing well. Today's visit got me wondering... he always says "where were you, I haven't seen you for weeks"..although I was just there yesterday. He doesn't go on after a while during the visit. By the time I need to leave (usually stay 2-3 hours), he makes the exit very difficult for me. I say I will be back soon, he asks what time, etc. he said today when I arrived "I might as well die, I can't even have my wife here with me". I doubt this is manipulation, he is not like that. Visits themselves can be delightful enough but the beginning and the end leave me feeling confused how to better handle it. Do you suppose he really feels that way? Needed to vent and get your thoughts. Thank you very much.
I was there 1 week ago.
Obviously, they can't process time. I just tell her I saw her last week. She's always surprised.
Luv, you're not doing anything wrong. It's his disease. I don't see what else you could do.
He can't help it so you're going to need to get "thick skinned". Don't take what he says personally.
My mom tells me she doesn't like her daughter, (me-but she doesn't know who I am), that her daughter is mean and had stolen everything from her. She has accused "her daughter" of lying, assaulting her, even incest. It hurts me to the core. But I have to remember it's the disease talking.
Just keep visiting and ignore the negative talk. Tell him how much you love him. Focus on positive things and be happy when you leave, even if you cry in the car.
This disease stinks.