I’m wondering how often I should go see him and if it makes a difference to him. He usually comments, “Oh there you are” when he sees me but the rest of the visit is very confusing and he just seems anxious. Does he function just “in the moment” or does he remember that I was there?
I found that I can hold her attention long enough to put some nice fragranced lotion on her arms, comb her hair, or change her into a new blouse that I bought her. I go over the new items that I bought her and explain how she'll use them. I know she can't know the meaning, but, the tone is important to me. I think she might like to hear someone who loves her talking to her in a normal conversation. Just in case, the memories are deep inside, they may ring a bell and comfort her. We can only do what we can.
You could go everyday and they would say they hadn't seen you in days. After a point, I think we visit for us but it really doesn't matter to them. Their days just blend into each other.
So, if you feel you want to cut back on visits, do it. Live your life.
Yes, I like this answer. I have instructed my family that I do not want them spending a lot of time visiting me when I am institutionalized and don't know whether they've been there or not. My Neuro says I'm still in early stages, I feel inside like I'm further along than the Doc does. I want my family to get on starting now, and enjoy all the life they can, while they can for them and their future families. I also told the kids, let mom get on with life and if she finds a companion, leave her be and let her enjoy life. I hope a lot of people see your response, and take the time to let their LO's know what they want in the future. A lot of anxiety may be taken away for them and their families. Glad to see you posting again.
Since the rest of the visit is confusing and he's anxious, it would seem to me that he's not remembering much. Anxiety is common in dementia because they can't process things the way they used to. Their world is confusing and nothing makes sense. Often they can't think of what they want to say or find the right word to use, causing frustration.
I would read up on the various stages of Alzheimer's disease (if that's the dementia he has) on this board and at Alz.org-"Alzheimer's Stages & Symptoms" . Knowing what to expect can make all the difference in handling the situation.