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My husband recently finally was confirmed to have dementia been fighting for couple years with the VA to test him, well now he's at the point of total confusion, he is convinced that he actually has 2 wifies, 2 houses 2, of each pets, all the same just down the street from each other and wants to go home to his other house, how can I convince him otherwise?

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I’m so sorry that you are going through this with your husband.

I just read your profile. He has a lot going on. Are you going to continue to care for him at home? You must be exhausted. Do you have any outside help for you to take a break from time to time?

Have you considered placing him in a VA facility? Can you apply for veteran’s benefits to help pay for an assisted living or memory care facility?

Since he has dementia, you will not be able to convince him of anything. You can tell his doctor about his behavior and see if they will prescribe medication to calm him down if he becomes agitated.

Wishing you peace during this difficult time.
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Have you tried putting him in the car and just driving around the block and then telling him that "we're now at our other home honey?"
That's what one of the ladies in my caregivers support group had to do with her husband, and it worked for a while.
And a gentleman in the groups wife thought there were 2 of him, and would want to talk to the other "Harley." So he would call himself from her old phone and talk to her as the "other Harley."
You do what you have to to keep peace. You have to meet your husband where he's at, and enter his world as he no longer can live in yours.
It's hard and it's very trying, but if your husband has now been diagnosed with vascular dementia, know that the life expectancy is only 5 years, as it's the most aggressive of all the dementias, so he and you won't have to suffer as long as let's say someone with Alzheimer's which can go on for 20+ years.
My late husband was diagnosed with vascular dementia in July 2018,(though he showed signs a good year prior)and he died in Sept. 2020.
And know too if his care is just too much for you, that it's ok to have him placed in a memory care facility, where he will receive the 24/7 care he needs and you can get back to just being his loving wife and advocate.
Wishing you the very best.
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NeedHelpWithMom Mar 2023
It’s so interesting what some spouses go through during their caregiving journey.

It shows how seriously they have taken their wedding vows, doesn’t it?
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