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I am a caregiver for my grandmother and I get paid from her account by my aunt who has power of Attorney. But I am being paid real low. Less than minimum pay. I want to know what is the pay for working with a family member who is sick?
There isn't any given amount that I know of. A lawyer should be able to tell what comparable pay would be adequate in your area. Then a contract should be drawn up so that you get the agreed amount. It's best to make it a legal contract as though you are an employee. Medicaid rules could be a problem down the road is your grandmother goes on Medicaid, so you want everything in writing and legal.
Cheesh. It is almost ILLEGAL for a relative to be paid to care for one of their own. Too close to financial elder abuse. So, you get paid AT ALL, count your blessings. I am stuck 24/6 (if you count some respite care and Mom's day care) and was lucky to get room and board and $10 day. This has been years and years of not one full 24-hour period off. Respite care is spread 4 hours here and there throughout the week.
There are many threads here that deal with this issue. And if it is legal, are things like room and board, use of her phone and cable TV and car...are they all part of the package.
This issue differs in every state, so check around...Say what state you are in for a more focused issue. Is your grandma wife of a vet? Then there are caregiver benefits available. You might want to get an official CNA certificate (Certified Nursing Assistant). Nearby, they offer a crash course in it. Will help you be qualified. Just some thoughts.
I did not quit understand the last comment on being paid for a family member being elder abuse. Were you being cynical or serious, did not know how to take it. I just had a Caregiver contract done by an elder attorney because my siblings felt I should not be getting the amount my Mom wanted to give me to live with me. She gives me her social security check of $1,480.00 per month and she received another check for $1,090. per month as well as annunity distribution of about another $25,000. per year. The amount she gives covers a little less than 1/3 of the expenses in the house. It is me my husband and her that live there with her cat and my parroket. This amount covers all her expenses except medications which are mostly covered by her insurance.
The elder attorney also told us it was a good idea to have the contact even if it were not an issue with my siblings because of the medicare laws. They could come back at me if she ever needed to use medicare and say the money she gave me was a gift. I did not give a copy of the agreement to my siblings, although there are still some bad feelings going on, it has simmered down somewhat and I am not interested in stirring things up again. But at least I know my Mom is doing what she wants to do with what she gives me and I am protected. I actually told her when she first moved in she did not have to give me that much, but she insisted and since then my husband has been laid off the the past year.
This pays for her share of the house expenses of heat, propane, water, phone, cable, food, cat food, gas, my time off from work to take her to the doctors as well as preparing her meals. She also needs her pills done and orderd for her as well as her check book taken care of. She still owns her other home and has a few small bills that need to be paid until it goes to settlement.
I would do what carol suggests and are you watching her 24/7 or only for a few hours. When it comes to caregiving it depends in how involved your duties are. Not knowing yours and your grandmother's full financial and her medical situation it's hard to assess. Given that,being that she is your grandmother I would hope that you would give some consideration to the amount you want to get paid. Caregiving is more than custodial work.
Ask your aunt how she arrived at the figure she is paying you. Then ask her how much she thinks she would have to pay someone else. If she balks... ask her how much she would expect if it was the other way around. It might get her to think about it. Remind her that because you are family, you do it with love... but doing it with love is not the same as cheap labor.
When I got my mome care giver bill for the first week it was $963.00. I just got one a few days ago for 2 weeks, and it was $1,900.00. She doesn't live there with my mom, she just comes in and works some days 7-7, and others 7-3. My mom is in her own home and my sister and her family (4 total) live there with my mom. I wrote a post about it. But I guess your situation is different as you are the primary care giver and this is your job.
magmarconis, are you the original poster? The original question did not have enough info.
Around where I live, like in my LIFE, the government considers caregiving by family members to be a GIFT, and not even the inheritance will be adjusted to pay me for my GIFT.
Not only can I not be paid by any govt agency to care for my mother, it was almost a legal case for ME to be paid $10 per day with my mother's own money. (She was conserved by the county Public Guardian when I reported financial elder abuse by my two sisters.) I "get" room and board, too (now THEY are the ones giving permission, even though my mother asked me to live with her.) Of course this is worth money, but $10 day does not get you a future, nor dental nor medical. I've been at this for 8 years now and have lost 6 teeth since I've been here.
Good thing you got an agreement and did it legally. As Pamela6148 is bowing up there in total amazement that you got that much. If you read the many threads on this issue on this website, you will find people who quit their jobs, hoping to collect unemployment to cover expenses when they decide old Mom needs their 24/7 care. GUESS WHAT? Too late, they can't even collect unemployment.
Often the person needing care is already in state of dementia when all these needs come up. And they cannot then legally make their own decisions regarding money and their level of care. Like I was caring for Mom, not expecting this to go on for 8 years but perhaps 6 months (she was in such bad shape).
Cynical and serious both. As I said, read the many posts on this question. Seems like this board gets a few of "how can I be paid for caring for my parents?" each week.
Anyway, I'm not an expert, just a victim in this situation.
I am not the origianl poster of this question. AWhat is the purpose or message the bowing emotion from Pamela is suppose to be for?
I think one thing needs to be clear I am not getting the money to just care for my mother, actually it is paying for expenses that she would have to pay where ever she lived and it would be a much higher amount and without love! My whole life style has changed since my Mom moved in, I have no free time anymore and I am not complaining, but it is a change but I am doing it with love.
My mother choose to live in my house. It was a new house just built and she loved the bright sun that comes into the family room where she spends her time on the couch watching TV. Just my heat an electric run $800. per month, that does not include, cable, phone, water, sewer, food, trips to the doctors etc.
My siblings try to make me feel guilty about it, but I never see them up to do anything for her that would affect their life style.I did feel guilty at first when they complained, but I do not anymore, it is very difficult to have an older parent living with you, but you make those scarafices out of love.
O think there was another comment directed to me about what happens to the other $1.090. per month, it goes into her checking account and stays there unless she has a bill on the home she is selling. And the annunity check she gets every years if given to my siblings, neices, nephews, grandchilddren and great grandchilden at Christmas on on their Birthdays. They get a nice big gift from her, she is the most selfless person I know.
Magmarconis my bowing icon is my way of taking my hat off to all the wonderful people here who day in and day out continue to care for their loved ones with no thanks, with little to no help, and little to no time for themselves. I am in awe of each and every one of them. They have carried me through a darkness that I never even imagined could even exist. A parent in need just zapping the life out of you, totally becomming a 2 or a 3 yr old. They have become my heros. And that is why I bow to them.
Seems to me you didn't really need to ask your question if you're getting $1400.00 a month, (I'm just saying). Seems to me you wouldn't have a problem paying that $800.00 Electric bill.
So in essence take that money and don't complain because you are indeed blessed that someone has made it available for you without a fight especially when you have sibblings. I say congrads!!!
Light is very important I've come to understand and I keep my moms room lit up, both the front window blinds open and the side ones. It's important to older people and I'm glad your mom enjoys that light coming in.
Do read on about money for the caregivers, and I hope you learn as much as I have from this site and I hope you are as appreciative to all these wonderful and wise folks here as I have become.
Does all this mean if my parents give us $1500 a month toward room, board, care, etc. and we don't have legal documents, we will have a problem later with medicaid? I am practically having a panic attack. If I had to give this money back, we would be devastated. It costs so much to care for them both. My heating bill alone is now enormous. The money we are paying for additional care beside my husband and myself is more than we can handle. HELP!
I think some people are confused, I was not the original poster of this questions, I was only responding to the person that posted it asking if they are being paid enough by her aunt explaining my experience and situation.
I was not aware of the medicare issue either, an attorney had indicated this as something they could do if there is a need for the use of medicare at a later date for parents. You may want to ask an attorney if they do this as an automatic policy or it is on a case by case basis. I just cannot understand how they would think the money is a gift, it cost people money to live no matter where they live. They use heat, electric, water, food, gas to get to a doctor etc. etc. But that is just my personal opinion.
In my opinion Medicare should be assisting the caregivers when the parents live with a child. If they needed to use the medicare much sooner, it would have cost the government a lot more money than what is given to a family member monthly. It is also ideal for the parent because they are with people who truly care about them and love them.
I would just check with an elder attorney to be on the safe side. I wish you well and God Bless you for taking care of your parents.
I also wanted to add that this web site has helped me a great deal get thru the issues with my siblings being upset that my Mom wants to pay her way in life and felt like it was money I used on myself which it is not, it helps pay the bills.
I would not have been able to get thru this issue without the help of all the kind people on this web site. Thank you and God Bless you all.
Good for you! A nursing home is $300/day plus. Your are getting less than $50/day.No one should have any complaints about that! I was asked by the family to quit my $400/week job, 2 years ago, to stay home with Mom 24/7. She has to have constant care because of dementia, Parkinsons, anxiety and depression. She also is severely OCD and is in constant motion. This is a real problem because her Parkinsons has progressed to the point of her not being able to walk alone. Unfortunately the dementia makes her forget that she can't do thing without help. She has to be restrained to a chair in order for me to do laundry, cooking, etc. She will try to stand up as many as 40 to 50 times in a minute. It can make you crazy just watching her!! The house was just signed over to me and I was advised to charge her room and board to help me with the household expenses, taxes, water, heat, etc. I am in the process of drawing up a lease for room and board to compensate me. I have 6 siblings, 3 of which do not help out. The other 3 agree that I should be paid for taking care of Mom. All siblings are okay with me getting the four family house that I have lived in with Mom for 56 of my 58 years on earth. My dad has been dead for 28 years, and I have been there for Mom all this time and for dad for the 9 years he was sick before he died. I'm doing what he would have wanted us to do for Mom. I'm sure he is disappointed with some of his offspring for not pitching in and I know he wanted me to have the house. Let's face it. None of us do this for the money. We're crazy to turn our lives upside down like this, but we do have to live and we do have to pay bills. I'm fortunate that I get compensated by Mom. I hope that some day there will be a program that will aid everyone that is in our situation. If you are really struggling, put your computer to work for you. There are lots of programs that operate with private funding, out there offering aid to the elderly who have a limited income. It will take time and effort to contact them all, but you may find one that can offer you some relief.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Carol
There are many threads here that deal with this issue. And if it is legal, are things like room and board, use of her phone and cable TV and car...are they all part of the package.
This issue differs in every state, so check around...Say what state you are in for a more focused issue. Is your grandma wife of a vet? Then there are caregiver benefits available. You might want to get an official CNA certificate (Certified Nursing Assistant). Nearby, they offer a crash course in it. Will help you be qualified. Just some thoughts.
The elder attorney also told us it was a good idea to have the contact even if it were not an issue with my siblings because of the medicare laws. They could come back at me if she ever needed to use medicare and say the money she gave me was a gift. I did not give a copy of the agreement to my siblings, although there are still some bad feelings going on, it has simmered down somewhat and I am not interested in stirring things up again. But at least I know my Mom is doing what she wants to do with what she gives me and I am protected. I actually told her when she first moved in she did not have to give me that much, but she insisted and since then my husband has been laid off the the past year.
I think getting a contact would be a good idea.
Hmm. What happens with the other $1.090.00?
Around where I live, like in my LIFE, the government considers caregiving by family members to be a GIFT, and not even the inheritance will be adjusted to pay me for my GIFT.
Not only can I not be paid by any govt agency to care for my mother, it was almost a legal case for ME to be paid $10 per day with my mother's own money. (She was conserved by the county Public Guardian when I reported financial elder abuse by my two sisters.) I "get" room and board, too (now THEY are the ones giving permission, even though my mother asked me to live with her.) Of course this is worth money, but $10 day does not get you a future, nor dental nor medical. I've been at this for 8 years now and have lost 6 teeth since I've been here.
Good thing you got an agreement and did it legally. As Pamela6148 is bowing up there in total amazement that you got that much. If you read the many threads on this issue on this website, you will find people who quit their jobs, hoping to collect unemployment to cover expenses when they decide old Mom needs their 24/7 care. GUESS WHAT? Too late, they can't even collect unemployment.
Often the person needing care is already in state of dementia when all these needs come up. And they cannot then legally make their own decisions regarding money and their level of care. Like I was caring for Mom, not expecting this to go on for 8 years but perhaps 6 months (she was in such bad shape).
Cynical and serious both. As I said, read the many posts on this question. Seems like this board gets a few of "how can I be paid for caring for my parents?" each week.
Anyway, I'm not an expert, just a victim in this situation.
I think one thing needs to be clear I am not getting the money to just care for my mother, actually it is paying for expenses that she would have to pay where ever she lived and it would be a much higher amount and without love! My whole life style has changed since my Mom moved in, I have no free time anymore and I am not complaining, but it is a change but I am doing it with love.
My mother choose to live in my house. It was a new house just built and she loved the bright sun that comes into the family room where she spends her time on the couch watching TV. Just my heat an electric run $800. per month, that does not include, cable, phone, water, sewer, food, trips to the doctors etc.
My siblings try to make me feel guilty about it, but I never see them up to do anything for her that would affect their life style.I did feel guilty at first when they complained, but I do not anymore, it is very difficult to have an older parent living with you, but you make those scarafices out of love.
Seems to me you didn't really need to ask your question if you're getting $1400.00 a month, (I'm just saying). Seems to me you wouldn't have a problem paying that $800.00 Electric bill.
So in essence take that money and don't complain because you are indeed blessed that someone has made it available for you without a fight especially when you have sibblings. I say congrads!!!
Light is very important I've come to understand and I keep my moms room lit up, both the front window blinds open and the side ones. It's important to older people and I'm glad your mom enjoys that light coming in.
Do read on about money for the caregivers, and I hope you learn as much as I have from this site and I hope you are as appreciative to all these wonderful and wise folks here as I have become.
I was not aware of the medicare issue either, an attorney had indicated this as something they could do if there is a need for the use of medicare at a later date for parents. You may want to ask an attorney if they do this as an automatic policy or it is on a case by case basis. I just cannot understand how they would think the money is a gift, it cost people money to live no matter where they live. They use heat, electric, water, food, gas to get to a doctor etc. etc. But that is just my personal opinion.
In my opinion Medicare should be assisting the caregivers when the parents live with a child. If they needed to use the medicare much sooner, it would have cost the government a lot more money than what is given to a family member monthly. It is also ideal for the parent because they are with people who truly care about them and love them.
I would just check with an elder attorney to be on the safe side.
I wish you well and God Bless you for taking care of your parents.
I would not have been able to get thru this issue without the help of all the kind people on this web site. Thank you and God Bless you all.
Mag
The house was just signed over to me and I was advised to charge her room and board to help me with the household expenses, taxes, water, heat, etc. I am in the process of drawing up a lease for room and board to compensate me. I have 6 siblings, 3 of which do not help out. The other 3 agree that I should be paid for taking care of Mom. All siblings are okay with me getting the four family house that I have lived in with Mom for 56 of my 58 years on earth.
My dad has been dead for 28 years, and I have been there for Mom all this time and for dad for the 9 years he was sick before he died. I'm doing what he would have wanted us to do for Mom. I'm sure he is disappointed with some of his offspring for not pitching in and I know he wanted me to have the house. Let's face it. None of us do this for the money. We're crazy to turn our lives upside down like this, but we do have to live and we do have to pay bills. I'm fortunate that I get compensated by Mom. I hope that some day there will be a program that will aid everyone that is in our situation. If you are really struggling, put your computer to work for you. There are lots of programs that operate with private funding, out there offering aid to the elderly who have a limited income. It will take time and effort to contact them all, but you may find one that can offer you some relief.