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She states she needs her quality time.


What is everyone's opinion of rather than having 2 caregivers, as she covers every night, and then I cover Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday Days.


She is asking that I leave at 8:00 as she needs to get her sleep. Not the client. The client used to stay up until 9:00 or 9:30 and now, I feel all of this pressure to leave at 8:00 and he wakes up around noon.


She also hides out in her room downstairs, and I never ever see her to chat with her like I have many times with other situations of caregiving teams.


Should I ask the family to think about going to 3 caregivers, as I feel that this woman has come in, and she just disappears, and there is no way to communicate with her. I have been there 3 months, and I have seen one caregiver come and go due to abuse of a vulnerable adult, as well as now this.


Any advice. The daughter would like every thing to close down now at 8:00 and when it is summer, 8:00 will be very early. He has no dementia, and loves to chat with his friends that come over. I feel it is too regimented, but I realize I am a caregiver not the daughter, and I know the son feels 180 from the daughter.


How to create peace?

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This is all new, since this new caregiver, who said to me "this is not my real job, I am really not a caregiver, just for XYZ" I will never be one again.

I am a true 100% caregiver, and feel that my words are not being listened too.
The gentlemen told me how upset he gets because xyz never eats with him.

I mention this to the daughter, as she wants to be involved, and she says oh that isn't true. Well, I hear it all the time.

I am frustrated as the Caregiver Contract is something I don't agree with. I think it is unfair to make the father go to bed at 7:30pm when he has just gotten up at noon, for the other caregivers sake. I feel there are favoritism being played.
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In overnight u meant like an 11 to 7 shift? 8 to 8? Because if she is the night person, lets say 8 to 8, then she needs to be available during those hours. If she was working in a NH, she would not be sleeping on the job. The man is her client. Even if he had Dementia, her job is to be up with him until he goes to bed, that even means 12 am in the morning. Then she helps him get ready for bed. He sleep time is when she can nap. If he calls, she goes. She should have a monitor in her room. She is being paid to do nothing. She should be getting her sleep during the day hours.

If client is competent, then the daughter is oversteping. He is able to make his own decisions. When he sleeps, when he wakes, what he eats (if not on a special diet) who he has over.

I would tell the son what u have observed. Not asking for another aide or saying anything about firing. Just state what you have seen and let him go from there.
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Makeadifference Mar 2020
JoAnne29,
It is the daughter overstepping, she has totally changed the rules, but the job is what it is. It is not a bad job, and I just have my moral compass of being the best I can be. I know that sounds hard, but my husband has leukemia, as well as other situations which have financially set us back, so for the moment, I am staying there, but I know with my 17 years of experience, I have softened up. The only time I will say anything even to APS, yes, is when she goes downstairs and lets him stay upstairs and he is alone.

I don't understand some caregivers, but may I mention, if your client is a fall risk, please do not leave him sitting in a chair. Basic common sense.

Yes the other caregiver is getting a lot more money and doing nothing and getting paid to sleep through the night and maybe get up maybe not, depending on her mood.

I have realized that I read this more for ways for me to view it and I thank you for your post.

The daughter rather than have me come in at 10, has me start at 11, the client is totally alone all am, and now is unable to get up by himself. I have offered everything, and money is not the issue.

Quite sad, but thanks.
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