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I am having trouble with instant reacting...and anger and frustration

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You are feeling anger and frustration because your mother, who should be grateful and appreciative, is being a pain is the a$$.

How about moving back home and assisting mom in hiring in home help or finding her a nice assisted living facility?

This situation isn't working for you. You have a right to respect.
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Can Mom afford an Assisted Living? I think with her problems that would be a good option. No one should ever give up their means of support to care for someone. When u retire you will need every cent. SS is effected the last few years of working. They only go back 35 years from time of retirement. The longer u can wait to retire the better. My brother was born in 1960 my daughter 1977. Both need to wait till they are 67 before getting full benefits of SS. Me, it was something like 66 and a couple of months.
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I'm not sure what she is doing to push your buttons, but I'm wondering if you need to set some boundaries. When she starts doing X or Y, tell her that you will leave if she does that again and then do so. As long as she is as sharp as you say. Sometimes, they are tricky about how well they really or are not doing.

Hire more help for her to give yourself more time away. Put her somewhere for respite care and take 2 weeks or a month off to regroup and recharge and then maybe your buttons won't be so pushable.

Good luck.
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Thank you all forbthe great advice
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I got a voice amplifier for my mother who refuses to wear hearing aids, and it works like a charm. All it is is a microphone that you wear like a headset, and it’s attached to a speaker that you wear on your belt.

Someone else recommended it on here, and it was genius. My mom now keeps it and uses it on her own for other things. This isn’t it, but it’s one like it.

https://www.amazon.com/Amplifier-Bluetooth-Rechargeable-Locations-Classroom/dp/B08NWSYM9X/ref=sr_1_4_sspa?crid=2B5B6FYJNL06V&keywords=voice+amplifier&qid=1636770111&sprefix=Voice+%2Caps%2C213&sr=8-4-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUExRjUyN0FSWDJQWUxWJmVuY3J5cHRlZElkPUEwNzQyODIxMTRENllWQ0JFTzM5MSZlbmNyeXB0ZWRBZElkPUEwNDk1Njg4M1FHQ1pBMk83TFE4TCZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX2F0ZiZhY3Rpb249Y2xpY2tSZWRpcmVjdCZkb05vdExvZ0NsaWNrPXRydWU=
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