He has many health issues that are a challenge, but the most difficult is Alzheimer's-dementia . How do I set it up to get him to the care facility ?
I think I can get him in the car, but getting him out of the car, that is the problem. I have power of attorney, but how can I prevent him from revoking it? What do I need in place?
See an elder law attorney to discuss.
He is not competent to do so.
The facility should help you with getting him out of the car but try this...
After you have made all the arrangements you need to, filled out all the papers you have to and I am guessing he has to have a Physical and many places require a TB test. (that can be a skin test or a blood draw. The blood test might be easier, with the skin test you will have to bring him back for it to be "read" and he may pick or scratch at the area where the test is done.)
Once you have a move in date...
"Hon, I think we are going to try a new place for lunch today"
Drive him to the facility and hopefully he will get out of the car for lunch.
I do hope you have someone that is going to help you move some of his things in earlier in the day.
Follow lealonnie's advice, that is how we handled it with my stepmother.
Stay away for at least a week so he can acclimate to his new surroundings.
Good Luck!
Tell hubby you're taking him out to lunch at a nice restaurant, but set it up beforehand with the facility. Join him for lunch, naturally, and then let the staff take over when it's time to show him his new apartment. Ask for advice from the staff on how to accomplish this transfer best, as they've had lots of experience. Make sure to set up his new place with lots of familiar things from home so he won't feel too out of his element.
Here is an article with 15 tips on transitioning a loved one into Memory Care Assisted Living:
https://careforth.com/blog/dementia-alzheimers-or-memory-care
And one from Alzheimer's: click on the first article that comes up
professional-care-22-successful-move-to-dementia-care.pdf
Good luck to you