It has been 6 long years and I have checking account receipts. I am over whelmed with the paper work. My family doesn't even speak to me anymore. It hurt's so bad. I am learning to detach myself but it's not fair that Dad doesn't get to see his grandkids and they only live eight miles away. I am so over whelmed with emotions to the point I can't function and feel guilty and fear of doing something wrong. My Dad still lives in his own house with partime care givers and I am unable to care for him physically. Any advice would be so much appreciated.
You are not responsible for whether or not the family goes to visit dad. Dad lives in his own house and they can go see him when you are not there. If they choose not to that is on their heads not yours. One of my sons refuses to go see his grandmother, he is an adult and I do not force it.
Do you have a counsellor, therapist or spiritual leader who can give you support? When we are overwhelmed even day to day living is hard, let alone making care decisions for another person. Many communities have low cost or free counselling services for the asking.
Can you take a respite break? Go away for a weekend, or take yourself out for dinner, to a play, a sporting event, something you enjoyed in the past? There is a significant date each year that is a very challenging day for me. I plan months ahead to do something entirely for me that day, to turn a negative into a positive.
For myself, when it came time for me to take over the bill paying for my Dad, I used 3-ring binders to keep the receipts. For every bill that came in the mail, I would place a newly written check on top of the bill and make a letter sized xerox copy of it, before mailing out payment. Then the copy went into the binder.
For those misc small paper receipts for cash or credit card payments at stores, I would later take those receipts and put 3 or 4 of them onto the copier. Then I would toss out the original receipts as now I could store them into a binder.
I did all of this just in case later down the road my Dad needed to sign up for Medicaid, or once he passed if Probate needed this information.
Ok, regarding a home copier. With the cost of computer printers getting less and less, and with printers now having xerox capability.... I found it was worth the price to keep me more organized. Watch for sales.
So sorry about ur family.
I used an expandable 12 section file. It was measured about 9"x 4". It worked perfectly well for me. I also kept a spreadsheet that I would total out each month to put in a different section of the file each month. Initially it was a PITA but became routine and got much easier.