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He wasn't caring for his catheter and it had become inoperable. He is in rehab and has had a new cath placed as well as antibiotics. He is wanting to go back to his house and I am against it. How do I handle this very difficult situation. He thinks he can care for himself, but this is not true. I have a letter from his doctor stating he cannot. The POA was enacted when he signed so it gives me authority but I am unsure how to handle his stubborn and accusing ways currently.

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You have the power with the doctors letter if the doctor says he is incompetent to make this decision himself because of dementia. Otherwise you do not. Basically that's it.
If the letter does state this, or you can get a letter stating this or something similar then you explain to your Dad that currently he is a danger to himself that he doesn't recognize and you are sorry, but he has now to go someplace where he will be cared for 24/7. Don't expect him to react without raging or mourning. The constant losses of age are worth the rage and mourning.
Not everything can lead to happiness and a perfect situation. So sorry for you both.
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Your profile says he suffers from a Dementia so yes, you can insist. You can have him transferred (at cost to him) to the AL or take him yourself. You explain to Rehab that its unsafe to return him home. Your POA has been enacted because a Dr. says he is no longer capable of making decisions for himself and he needs 24/7 care. Tell Dad a little white lie that placing him is temporary. He just needs a little more care.

They all want to go home. It can be the last place they lived or the first. It is no longer what he wants but what he needs. He needs to be safe. You can no longer allow him to live alone. You need to put all your energy to your child. Time for someone else to look after Dad.
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You discuss with the Hospital Social Worker the Rehab Social Worker that he can not be discharged to home. He is not able to care for himself and you can not care for him.
With Dementia he should be in Memory Care or if he needs more acute medical care he should be in a Skilled Nursing facility.
If he is a Veteran find out from your local Veterans Assistance Commission if he is entitled to any services from the VA.
YOU are the one that is responsible now for making health care decisions for him.
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Dad has the right to make the decision where he lives no matter how bad a decision you think it is.

I don't think this is a situation you want to force. Dad will be miserable and you will never hear the end of it.
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Maybe he neglected his cath because he had a UTI? If he doesn't have a permanent cognitive problem then he gets to decide where he lives but it's not a bad idea to start working on warming him up to the idea of increasing help for him or taking him to visit a AL so that he sees it's probably not what he is horrible-izing in his mind. Modern ones are bright and clean and have activities, events and clubs, some have vans to take you places...my MIL's place is on a large lake and she gets to go out fishing on their pontoon...in a wheelchair. Point out to him that you just want him look now so that "if" he needs AL he has been part of the decision and it's not made during a crisis. It's a big change in his life made all the more unnerving when it happens suddenly and he's not part of the decision.
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Ariadnee Jan 2022
Fishing, on a pontoon boat, in a wheel chair! Wow! I wish there was something like that here for my husband : )
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An assessment by a trained specialist (psychiatrist/psychologist/neurologist etc.) WITH GERIATRIC EXPERIENCE in addition to your POA should be all you need.

The “assessment” does not need to be a lengthy process- it can be based on discussions with the specialist, and was exactly that in our situation.

You need to request a document stating your father’s condition and need for your management.

DO NOT TAKE HIM HOME, and don’t get into lengthy discussion with him.

Remember that he is dealing with a progressively failing brain. You are aware of his numerous severe problems, and are in a position to lovingly make decisions that will meet his needs. When there are no “good” decisions, you must choose the best of the less than good, always seeking what is safest and most peaceful.

Hoping all goes peaceful,y for you too.
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