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She is legally blind in her left eye and severely deaf in both ears. I live with her. I have my own health issues. Yesterday was my birthday and my sister came over to celebrate with my mom and me. My mom and was complaining about everything. She didn’t like the food. My sister was about to cut the cake and my mom just got up and stormed out of the kitchen. I told my sister not to cut the cake because my mom spoiled my birthday. I love my mom but I am fed up with her attitude. I am glad that my sister supports me. Any suggestions?

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As with a small child, you ignore her and continue on with your celebration. By not doing so, you validated her behavior and encouraged more of it when she wants more attention.

I assume there's some dementia there, so you have to start thinking about handling her the way you'd handle a two-year-old. You don't reward the bad behavior (but neither do you yell or lose your temper), and you model better behavior.

Saying she ruined your birthday was only because you allowed her to. You need to up your own responses to a more mature level, too.
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Agree with MJ.

Don't feed into mom's tantrums. Live your life and if she chooses to be a stinker, then treat her like one.

At least your mom REMEMBERED it was your b-day. Mine hasn't sent me a card or acknowledged my existence for 30 years. I went through 18 months of cancer TX and she never once called or reached out to me.

More cake for you!
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Eat the cake, enjoy life. Your mom is not changing, except perhaps to worsen. For many seniors, when the health issues pile up, whatever happy was for them becomes a memory and is past. You can look into a medication for depression for her by discussing the idea with her doctor. But equally important, realize it’s not on you to make it better and guard your own well being. Limit your exposure to the negativity, don’t listen to endless complaints. Take a walk, or do whatever else to get away from it. I wish you peace
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Ignore, redirect or leave. Never complain or explain.
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Have your sister take you out to lunch for your bday & then order bday cake 🎂…the waiters & Waitresses can sing happy birthday to you!!!
HUGS 🤗
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2 year olds are cute & mischievous…dementia patients are evil, violent & a danger to themselves & others. Hugs 🤗
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