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Recently, a friend of mine who caretakes for her father was in a bad car accident and I know her elderly father that she cares for was left behind in a different city while she was hospitalized in critical condition. I have had concerns about this for some time… that is, what if something happens to me? I am the sole caretaker in my family and have no plan in place for someone to look after my father in such a situation. Although he is in independent living, he is there with a lot of support from me and a part-time nighttime caregiver and without that help, he would definitely need to be in assisted-living.


What can and should I set up for his care just in case something were ever to happen to me?

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A will. Put all your details into it and get everything set up and hope the the ones who execute it follow it. You can’t control what you can’t control; all you can do is the best you can and pray and make peace with that. Sorry I sound a little cold, it’s just the bottom line.
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A few prepared documents:
1 - a schedule of his usual activities (include medications)
2 - contact numbers for his doctors, insurance, people you trust
3 - Medical and surgical history including allergies

A team of "helpers:"
You need others involved in helping him on a regular basis. Ask family, friends, members of your faith community... so that you have a group that can take over if need be (and can give you some much needed respite).
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LJBrodnax: As your father currently requires a night time caregiver, he is well beyond "independent living" since your profile indicates that he suffers from dementia. Appoint someone else as Power of Attorney to be secondary principal. Perhaps you need to retain an elder law attorney.
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If something happened to you he would have to go to Memory Care not Assisted Living.
You can appoint someone else to be POA and that POA could then become your dad's Guardian IF they wanted to do so. If not and no other family member wanted to then he would become a Ward of the State.
This is a discussion to have with an Elder Care Attorney or one that is versed in Family Law.
If Memory Care is an option now it might do well to get him used to it and adjusted now.
When you say Independent Living is he in IL facility or is he living independently at home?
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In Canada, this was the first question I asked social worker after my husband was released from rehab.
If I was to be hospitalized they would take him as well and place him in facility.
I also made plan A and B which includes financials and personal matter, we have 2 agencies for temporary or longer care, we have Home Care services if notified they know what to do and also few trusted friends, at least one would stay with my husband 24/7.
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Your father's powers of attorney (POA) for financial and medical matters can be amended to have a second and third in line as backups, in case something happens to you. An attorney might have to do this.
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Hire a guardian service that reports to the court. Make an appointment with an Elder Law Attorney to get a referral and plan.

Here's an article inside of an advertisement that should give you a hint of how it works. It's important that you get a referral in your own area.

https://stowellassociates.com/how-to-get-guardianship-of-parent-with-dementia/
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I'm in much the same situation - my father's in assisted living right now, but I help from afar (paying the bills, acting as his agent for legal/medical/financial issues, etc.) Right now his brother also has medical and financial POA, but his brother is also getting on in years, and eventually it will just be me. Add to this that nearly all his major bills (his rent, his pharmacy bill, etc.) do not offer automated payment. If I got hit by a bus or otherwise stopped sending checks and answering my mail/email/phone, my dad's finances would snarl within a month or two, and someone would need to step in very quickly.

No plan is foolproof in this situation, but a few things you can do:
- make sure your father's paperwork is in order. Will, medical and financial POA, living will, etc. in place. If at all possible, make sure someone besides you is given medical and financial POA (for instance, iirc, it can be written so that POA falls to someone else if you cannot or will not serve). Make sure that person has copies of all relevant documents, so they have proof of the powers they have, if they have to take over for you in a pinch. Make sure SOMEONE other than you knows where all that paperwork is.
- make sure YOUR paperwork is in order. Will. Medical and financial POA. Living will. Etc. Make sure someone other than your father is named for relevant decisions, as you don't want a hospital going to him for help with YOU, when he's not able. Make sure you have someone given powers to work in your stead, if needed. This just helps if you need it, but it also makes you think of who can help you in an emergency. This then leads to...
- Ask YOUR emergency contacts how/if they can help if you cannot help your dad. This is not to ask them to caretake, but rather just for them to be a message bearer when you cannot. If they get the call that you have been hospitalized, could they notify your Dad's nighttime caregiver for you? Could they bring you checks to sign, make sure you have your phone, check your email so that your father's financial business doesn't grind to a halt while you are in the hospital? Things to just keep the wheels turning while you recover.
- ensure that your emergency contact knows what you'd need them to do and how to do it. "If I am hospitalized, could you please bring me my phone, my address book, and this book of notes so I can make calls?" "If I am unconscious for more than a week, please notify this person, who will need to activate another emergency plan for helping my dad." "Here is how to access my computer, in case I need you to check and pay some bills for me." Things like that.
- call your father's local Area Agency on Aging and ask them this question you asked us - they will know what will happen if your father has no one who can help him, and they can tell you what you can do to smooth that process as much as possible.

This is just one way to do it, and it's a lot, I know (writing this has reminded me of some things I should do....) but it's worth thinking through YOUR specific situation: where are the points of failure? How can you cobble together a safety net? Can you automate bills? Can you give alternate "emergency only, if I do not pick up" contacts to people who might need to contact you regarding your dad's business? Can you empower people to help you, even if it's just passing messages and making sure others know that you are out of commission?

Also, think on how to share information when needed. A shared Google folder or a website like Everplans can be used to store documents, important information, emergency contacts, etc. and to allow access to those documents for the contacts that need them. Then you update this regularly, and whoever needs the info pulls it when needed.
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Hi Nice meeting you!
id like to know if Medicaid paid for all caregiving duty that you did to your Dad?
just curious my friend had Parkinson’s apparently I’m taking care of him but now agency Do not want to pay overtime so we’re looking for a provider that will accept Medicaid. Thanks!
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LJBrodnax, question, when you say your Dad is in independent living, so you mean independent living at a senior facility, or that Dad lives in his own home?

Since your profile mentions that your Dad has Alzheimer's/Dementia, he probably would not be accepted into Assisted Living, instead he would be better off living in Memory Care. That way he would be around Staff that is familiar with how memory loss works.

Can your Dad budget for the cost of a senior facility? My Dad was paying $7k-$8k per month, and that was four years ago. Dad sold his house and used the equity to pay.

If Dad cannot budget for such cost, time for him to start applying for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare] via his State Medicaid office. Each State has their own programs which are taxpayer funded.

Wouldn't it be better to place Dad now, instead of wondering what would happen to him if something happens to you?
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Why not move him to AL now? If he needs a part-time night caretaker he is beyond IL.

IMO it always better to make the move before it is an emergency. If you do that, he will have someone on call24/7.
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