My Sweetie has mid-advanced Alzheimer's. After several weeks of feeling completely drained and exhausted, he developed a cough. I used an at home Covid Test 2 days ago, and it came back positive! Here's the problem that I am having trouble with: On one hand, the coughing is from deep down, hurting him to even move. I think he has pneumonia. He would not do well in a hospital setting, as he gets VERY agitated when he can't find me. In the past, he's pulled out his IV's, tried to leave, etc. I'm VERY afraid that IF I take him to the ER, I will never see him again. On the other hand, can I take care of him at home? So far, so good, but he's never been this sick before. I simply don't know what path to take. I don't want to be neglectful by not getting him the medical assistance he needs, but not that many Covid patients (he's 83) walk back out of the hospital. What should I do?
They do NOT have to admit him. Honestly, they never DO want to, but sometimes that is how they get them the best care.
For one thing, he may need antibiotics, which would help him heal faster and you can't just get those w/o seeing a doc.
Pneumonia is not something to play around with. Take him to the ER and be his advocate--letting the drs and nurses know that you just need him evaluated and treated and that you REALLY don't want him to be admitted. If he is a difficult patient, they can handle that with a mild tranquilizer. My DH gets really, really anxious in the hospital and I ALWAYS talk to a doc out in the hall and tell them he will be 100% more compliant if they keep him calm. (He's in good health, still works FT and all--but he gets panicky and then he really is miserable.EVERY ER I have had to take him into has been GRATEFUL that I tell them he needs a mild tranq--he calms down, they can run all the tests and he doesn't get anxious to the point he's miserable.
Hopefully, once he dxed and you know just what's going on, likely you CAN take him back home. Hospitals are not trying to fill up with people who have good at home care. Yes, he may spend a day there getting his tests done, etc., but if you stand firm about bringing him back home, you should be able to do that.
BUT--you need a baseline about how sick he is and what he needs done.
And a LOT of elderly patients fight off covid. We don't hear about it b/c it's not 'news'.
Just for your information: I have learned that by thanking every single person who does anything for your DH--and thanking them honestly you will not end up on their 'trouble list' and you WILL get quicker and better care. It's not a sneaky thing to do, it just greases the wheels a little.
Good Luck with this.
I am 80. I already have a POLST hanging in my home. I will NOT be going to the hospital; my partner is aware of that. If he becomes seriously ill he wishes to go to the hospital. I will do that. So much of this depends upon. And I think it is best you discuss this with your husband's doctor. You are correct in believing that you cannot see him in the hospital. Not only does HE have covid-19 in all likelihood, but you are exposed to it. So you are also correct in knowing that the arrival of an ambulance may mean you are taking your last goodbye, and yes, this deep cough indicates that the virus has moved already into covid-19 pneumonia. Do you have an O2 sat meter for finger? 20.00 ordered from your pharmacy; if you do not have one order by phone right now or have someone get it for you.
I hope you have some support. Do forewarn them that in all likelihood their coming to help exposes them. They should know that.
I am so sorry and hope you do well; most are recovering. I hope you will update us.
Sending up prayers for you and DH
I am an RN. Please take your husband to the ER to be properly diagnosed. He needs a medical exam, chest x-ray and labs. From there you will know how to proceed. If you husband does have pneumonia, he will need antibiotics, probably IV and later switched to oral. Pneumonia in itself is very serious in older and/or otherwise compromised patients. Much, much better to begin treating at the beginning. And check yourself. Have you tested? Are you negative? If so, you'd probably be able to stay with him in the hospital.
Also, if you keep your husband at home, you may very well become ill yourself and could end up with both of you in the hospital.
Please let us all know how you both are doing.
A person's chances of having Covid and not requiring hospitalization are greatly improved if they've been fully vaccinated. In fact they are all but guraranteed.
The Covid vaccine is not a prevention vaccination. A person can still get the virus and in extremely rare cases, and I'm talking getting struck by lightening, being the lone survivor of a plane crash, being abducted by aliens, and winning the lottery on the same day rare the person can get sick enough to need hospitalization and can even die.
So why don't you get back on your anti-vaxx nonsense and ride the hell away because no one's interested in your fight-picking here.
Here's a little FYI for ya. Two people I know developed blood clots in their lungs from HAVING Covid.. Both of them are anti-vaxx A-holes who refused vaccination and still do. Good luck with a lifetime of taking blood-thinners now. Also, the poster's 83 year-old sweetheart could have pneumonia that is unrelated to his Covid-positive status. He could have any number of secondary infections to the Covid that are causing him to be so ill.
The only way to find out is in a hospital. The guy needs to go to a hospital.
And I am not anti vaxx I am anti not having the right to choose to vaccinate or not for something that is going to require booster shots for indefinitely.
At 83 with advanced dementia, I would be inclined to treat him at home and let nature take its course. I would look up natural treatments for covid and pneumonia. The meds and vents are too much for many people to survive and I do not want that for myself or a loved one.
Good luck.
Best wishes.
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