I could use some sound advice from someone not emotionally attached!

Honey, I going to pray for you. In this case is a difficult answer. No one wants to bear the responsibility of your outcome either way. My doctor has done this on several occasions, as have I. What you feel in your heart is right. What about hospice? People have gotten out of hospice on many occasions , but it’s at home treatment. although I’m not sure about the positive test result?

This is something to discuss with his MD. You and your hubby--did you, when he was competent--discuss end of life wishes, wishes if either of you became mentally incompetent? Do you know if he would wish to stay home even if this wish cost his life? Are you willing to accept that? Does he want to be intubated? Do you want that for him? Are there pills he can take at home (there are; have you discussed with the MD). Will YOU be able to care for him? Are you vaccinated and boosted? If you become so ill that YOU have to be hospitalized who will act for your husband? Will you then call 911 to transport you both? Is there a support system or is this only you.
I am 80. I already have a POLST hanging in my home. I will NOT be going to the hospital; my partner is aware of that. If he becomes seriously ill he wishes to go to the hospital. I will do that. So much of this depends upon. And I think it is best you discuss this with your husband's doctor. You are correct in believing that you cannot see him in the hospital. Not only does HE have covid-19 in all likelihood, but you are exposed to it. So you are also correct in knowing that the arrival of an ambulance may mean you are taking your last goodbye, and yes, this deep cough indicates that the virus has moved already into covid-19 pneumonia. Do you have an O2 sat meter for finger? 20.00 ordered from your pharmacy; if you do not have one order by phone right now or have someone get it for you.
I hope you have some support. Do forewarn them that in all likelihood their coming to help exposes them. They should know that.
I am so sorry and hope you do well; most are recovering. I hope you will update us.

As much as you do not want to take him to the ER--that's probably where he needs to be right now.

They do NOT have to admit him. Honestly, they never DO want to, but sometimes that is how they get them the best care.

For one thing, he may need antibiotics, which would help him heal faster and you can't just get those w/o seeing a doc.

Pneumonia is not something to play around with. Take him to the ER and be his advocate--letting the drs and nurses know that you just need him evaluated and treated and that you REALLY don't want him to be admitted. If he is a difficult patient, they can handle that with a mild tranquilizer. My DH gets really, really anxious in the hospital and I ALWAYS talk to a doc out in the hall and tell them he will be 100% more compliant if they keep him calm. (He's in good health, still works FT and all--but he gets panicky and then he really is miserable.EVERY ER I have had to take him into has been GRATEFUL that I tell them he needs a mild tranq--he calms down, they can run all the tests and he doesn't get anxious to the point he's miserable.

Hopefully, once he dxed and you know just what's going on, likely you CAN take him back home. Hospitals are not trying to fill up with people who have good at home care. Yes, he may spend a day there getting his tests done, etc., but if you stand firm about bringing him back home, you should be able to do that.

BUT--you need a baseline about how sick he is and what he needs done.

And a LOT of elderly patients fight off covid. We don't hear about it b/c it's not 'news'.

Just for your information: I have learned that by thanking every single person who does anything for your DH--and thanking them honestly you will not end up on their 'trouble list' and you WILL get quicker and better care. It's not a sneaky thing to do, it just greases the wheels a little.

Good Luck with this.