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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
The social worker at rehab should help if asked with whatever is needed. Permanent placement in a Medicaid facility, Medicaid pending? That is what the social workers are so good at.
Hello, It is hard to answer without more information. Many people have short-term memory loss and live on their own, others need full-time assistance. If you can give more details you might be able to get more specific advice. Best of luck Margaret
I see from your profile that your father in law has alzheimer's / dementia. It sounds like he will need assisted living or a nursing home. Don't bring them home. Where are his children in all of this? He is blessed that you are concerned about him. Come back and let us know what is going on.
Thank you everyone he keeps calling me to come get him I may only be the daughter in law but he looks to me for everything and I am trying to take care of my mom in another state anyway is there any issues if I am able to move him to a nh that is closer and is in network with his insurance
I am also in a tough place his sons met and they decided to move him in with one of his sons who had never gone to see him called once and didn’t even ask how he was doing it’s 45 minutes away from where he lives and where we live all his friends are here and so is his doctor and they are gone at least 8 hours a day and they still expect me to take care of his medical care so I have to drive up there and then back and then back up there but when they are gone for the summer he will be with us I don’t know what to do he wants to live with me but I don’t think the boys care what he wants and that he cannot stay by himself for that long but my husband is worried about me because I still have my mom to take care of and I have my own medical issues and since his accident in 2006 and when their mom was dying the other two kids skated and didn’t do anything for 12 years my husband said it’s time they step up I am just so worried about him
No. Just no on moving FIL in with a son and without supervision during the day and no help in the summer. That is a disaster waiting to happen. Moving him closer to you makes the most sense.
On the other hand, it is not your decision to make, is it? But you can decide on your own contributions.
1) You will no longer handle his medical affairs. Too far away. 2) You will not have him in your house for the summer.
Yes, it is time, and past time, for the brothers to step up. But NOT in a way that makes life even more miserable for you. You are taking care of your mom. You have your own health issues. You are NOT driving an hour and a half for each medical appointment. You are not hosting FIL for the summer.
Your husband means well, but he is kind of cutting of his brother's nose to spite your face. I hope you can explain this to him.
BTW, why do the brothers not want him in a care center? Are they thinking to save money for an inheritance? Is it genuine conscience?
They don’t want to see their dad in a home when their mom was dying they completely disappeared and it was up to me and my fil they couldn’t handle it I also get where my husband is coming from because we have been taking care of him since his brain injury in 2006
SB18, please see a lawyer that has Medicaid credentials and that can help you figure out what financial aid will be available. Is the family member out of state? Medicaid doesn't cross state lines. You will be responsible for 24/7 care soon, if not now, and you won't have time for your mother's care. 40% of caregivers die before the person they are caring for. The people that disappeared when Mother in Law went to facility will send Father in Law to you for summer and never take him back.
It is easier to get him into LTC if he goes right from rehab. I think BILs are asking too much of you. You have done your share. Stand up for yourself now because once you take this on it will be harder to get out. 90 minutes driving a day every day is a long haul. What happens when the weather is bad, you don't feel good or ur Mom needs you? Tell them sorry, but No. Explain why and make sure your husband backs you up. FIL will only decline making caring for him harder. Wonderful that your a caring DIL but if the BILs don't go along with ur plans, then they need to come up with their own leaving you out. I know ur close to him but ur health and ur Mom should come first. Good Luck and make sure u come back and tell us what happens.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
It is hard to answer without more information. Many people have short-term memory loss and live on their own, others need full-time assistance. If you can give more details you might be able to get more specific advice.
Best of luck
Margaret
No. Just no on moving FIL in with a son and without supervision during the day and no help in the summer. That is a disaster waiting to happen. Moving him closer to you makes the most sense.
On the other hand, it is not your decision to make, is it? But you can decide on your own contributions.
1) You will no longer handle his medical affairs. Too far away.
2) You will not have him in your house for the summer.
Yes, it is time, and past time, for the brothers to step up. But NOT in a way that makes life even more miserable for you. You are taking care of your mom. You have your own health issues. You are NOT driving an hour and a half for each medical appointment. You are not hosting FIL for the summer.
Your husband means well, but he is kind of cutting of his brother's nose to spite your face. I hope you can explain this to him.
BTW, why do the brothers not want him in a care center? Are they thinking to save money for an inheritance? Is it genuine conscience?