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She says no emails, no cards. I am depressed and upset about ending with my therapist after 10 years. Please answer me

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call your county mental health agency. They can provide you with a list of psychologists who are accepting new patients. She is retiring she most likely wants to make a clean break with past clients. I retired as a psychologist 3.5 years. ago I've had no contact with past patients.
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She was a therapist, and not a friend, so something is lost in all those years in helping you to understand the difference. It is her job to help you. I was a nurse and I recognize how close you become to someone whose profession is caregiving. Patients would often ask me to visit them in their homes, to go out to dinner with them. This is a natural thing to happen when you share your entire life and inner being with someone. But sadly she has retired. Her job is over. I hope that she was able to explain this to you. Unfortunately you don't really have any choices here in so far as she is concerned.
It will take time now to find someone else for your therapy. I know she will help you. That at least would be the normal course of events when a therapist retires. Wish you good luck in forming a bond of trust with your new therapist.
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Hi Shirley... are you now or have you ever been a member of a faith congregation? If so, please call your rabbi, pastor, priest, etc. If not, it is perfectly ok to call one even if you're not a member or attender. They will be happy to talk to you. How is your husband doing? Are you getting enough help with him after his surgery? Is he back walking? Wishing you peace in your heart.
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It's OK to mourn the end of a 10 year relationship, It's not easy to make a transision to another therapist after all that time. Best case scenario is that she referred you to another therapist or gave you some names. I know that finding a therapist these days is quite difficult. Wishing you success in your search.
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JoAnn29 Mar 2022
Shirley posts on and off. There is a lot more going on here. Main thing, a husband suffering from Dementia who is not easy to deal with.
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We always answer you, Shirley, but we never get feedback from YOU. What have you learned after going to therapy for 10 years? You should have taken quite a bit of useful knowledge away with you to apply to your life after all those years. If not, then you should consider perhaps therapy isn't the answer you're looking for. Look into the services of a psychologist or a psychiatrist and what they may have to offer you instead of talk therapy. Contact your PCP for referrals for any or all of the mental health services you seek.

Good luck.
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Shirley,

I think you have been coming to this forum since 2020 when your husband started having problems with his foot. When he had surgery you were more active. As you can see, I have been following your posts. You have known since this time last year that your therapist was retiring. I told you then she would give you info on other therapists. In the area you live you should be able to find a new therapist.

Your therapist has retired you need to except that she can no longer help you. Maybe you need a higher level of care? Maybe your Rabbi can help. I have asked before with no answer. Do you have family? If so, you need to turn to them.

I really don't know what you think this forum is but its ordinary people trying to Care for LOs. People come here hoping they can get info to help make their caring easier. They Vent and find its not only them dealing with the daily living of caring for another person..

You post but you don't reply. What do u think we can do by posting your Drs. name and address? We cannot call her and say "You have to take Shirley back". Since our members are from all over the US and other countries we cannot help you find a new therapist. You have to do that.

I know life has been hard the last couple of years. From what you have posted, your husband has Dementia. You have to except this. If you can't handle it, then maybe place him in a nice Assisted living. He doesn't seem easy to deal with.

I am so sorry. We cannot solve your problems. We can try to give you info that may help find a way but we aren't the way. I am sure Office of the Aging has been mentioned, have you ever called them? While aides are there for you husband, do you get out for a while. Are there activities where you live? If so, do you engage in them? COVID is here to stay. Things are opening up, masks no longer mandated. Only you can help you.

Again, talk to your Rabbi. Make him aware of how your life is. I think you need someone to help you deal with the pressures you maybe under and help you find the answer. You need help that this forum is not equipped to give. We are not professionals, just everyday people dealing with caring for others.

I and others wish you the very best. We are not the forum for you because we cannot solve your problems. And I think you need someone near you who can help you solve ur problems.
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My therapist of 7 years raised her rates to almost $200 an hour and dropped my insurance. I had done a couple of virtual visits, but they were pointless.

I finally decided that it was time to 'break up' with her. She did a lot for me, helped me through some really bad memories and helped me to learn different coping mechanisms and, I truly believe, saved my marriage. So--I am content with probably never seeing her again.

She also will not do any kind of contact as she has to make a living too! But her rates doubled in the last 2 years and I felt that for $200, I could probably find something to do that would benefit myself and others. That's been a good plan for me, so far.

I feel for you--having changed therapists 3 times in 20 years--it takes ages to 'break one in' so to speak. And then to decide that they were not who I needed to talk to. I was blessed with this last one and I did come home from appts and make notes, also she recommended books for me, so I will lean on those for a bit.

It's like losing a really great friend (that you're paying) and not to be taken lightly.

Try 'going it alone' for a bit and see if you have actually healed sufficiently that you won't need a therapist. IO have days I wish I had mine again (and I can jump back in if I want, I'm just feeling like for $200 a session, I should be getting 'more'.

Your ex-therapist should not just dump you. She should give you a list of therapists she knows who could take you on. Just retiring and cutting off all ties is not very professional.
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Needing a a therapist after ten years of therapy? Something must be wrong either with the therapist or with the patient. May be a case of therapy addiction.
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AlvaDeer Mar 2022
You made me laugh a bit because my friend Mary's therapist said to her "you will need therapy all your life" and I said "That either means the therapist is no good or you are hopeless".
When I went to therapy the therapist said to me "You will not find me to be a listening post that takes in the same story over and over again; I will have input and I will make you uncomfortable."
Uncomfortable wasn't the word for it. She would say things like "I heard that story over and over again. I don't want to hear about him anymore. I want to know what you plan is to avoid a "him" in the future".
Perfect match. I was done in three months.
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please give this therapist the privacy she has requested. You should not post her name on a public forum. This is totally inappropriate. Ask your doctor for a referral.
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Another case of therapy addiction. The question has no relation to aging care, it doesn't belong in this forum.
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