I have been seeing a therapist for 10 years and she has retired. What do I do now?

If the Administrator deactivated Shirley's account, I would think also a note would be put on the acct "closed for comments" or what ever they do. 😊

I was informed that everything is being done for the original poster.

Will report my post and maybe the Admin will keep people from posting.

This post is from March. Shirley never answers because (I believe) she has either mental illness or short-term memory impairment. No further responses on this thread are necessary.

Shirley didn't 'change her user name'........when an account is deactivated, the username reverts to 'anonymous' with a number after it, I believe that's how it works around here.

I wanna know how Shelley changed her name here.

That’s a tough one . I can tell you I recently found a old letter I forgotten about from a former therapist I saw decades ago. I am hurting to that I can’t reach out , I most likely will send out something anonymously . But it does hurt she is retired . If she wasn’t I’d make an appt out of the blue and go in just once to tell her what her help meant to me . Sorry I don’t have an answer for you .

I keep remembering the old joke that goes “I’ve been in bed with the doctor for a week, and I don’t seem to be much better. Maybe I should get another doctor?”. Oh for the days when doctors did home visits!

Shirley,

I think you have been coming to this forum since 2020 when your husband started having problems with his foot. When he had surgery you were more active. As you can see, I have been following your posts. You have known since this time last year that your therapist was retiring. I told you then she would give you info on other therapists. In the area you live you should be able to find a new therapist.

Your therapist has retired you need to except that she can no longer help you. Maybe you need a higher level of care? Maybe your Rabbi can help. I have asked before with no answer. Do you have family? If so, you need to turn to them.

I really don't know what you think this forum is but its ordinary people trying to Care for LOs. People come here hoping they can get info to help make their caring easier. They Vent and find its not only them dealing with the daily living of caring for another person..

You post but you don't reply. What do u think we can do by posting your Drs. name and address? We cannot call her and say "You have to take Shirley back". Since our members are from all over the US and other countries we cannot help you find a new therapist. You have to do that.

I know life has been hard the last couple of years. From what you have posted, your husband has Dementia. You have to except this. If you can't handle it, then maybe place him in a nice Assisted living. He doesn't seem easy to deal with.

I am so sorry. We cannot solve your problems. We can try to give you info that may help find a way but we aren't the way. I am sure Office of the Aging has been mentioned, have you ever called them? While aides are there for you husband, do you get out for a while. Are there activities where you live? If so, do you engage in them? COVID is here to stay. Things are opening up, masks no longer mandated. Only you can help you.

Again, talk to your Rabbi. Make him aware of how your life is. I think you need someone to help you deal with the pressures you maybe under and help you find the answer. You need help that this forum is not equipped to give. We are not professionals, just everyday people dealing with caring for others.

I and others wish you the very best. We are not the forum for you because we cannot solve your problems. And I think you need someone near you who can help you solve ur problems.

Shirley, get another therapist. Leave this poor woman alone and stop trying to smear her name. You can and should be sued for this nonsense. You aren't the only one that matters, I know you are old enough to know this.

I along with others have responded to you. She has given you an option to continue. Apparently you never reply and it is very inappropriate to mention her name.

Another case of therapy addiction. The question has no relation to aging care, it doesn't belong in this forum.

please give this therapist the privacy she has requested. You should not post her name on a public forum. This is totally inappropriate. Ask your doctor for a referral.

Find another therapist. Call the number in the back of your insurance card and ask them to send a list of providers and start making calls. You could also ask friends for a names as well as your primary care doctor

Your therapist should be giving you names of others in your area that you can contact.
Choose one that is covered by your insurance and have your files sent.
I really am surprised that 1 therapist would keep a patient for 10 years. I would think if no progress had been made they would have referred you before this. It really does you a disservice.
If you had a pain in your hand would you still go to the same doctor year after year with no resolution? Granted other things in life come up that need to be hashed out but 10 years is a lot of hash.

I read this out to my DH, and we both burst out laughing!

Your therapist should be giving you names of other therapists in your area. You pick one and have your files sent to them. If you have a secondary insurance, call them and see what Therapists they have in their network. You can also call Office of Aging to see if they can help.

We always answer you, Shirley, but we never get feedback from YOU. What have you learned after going to therapy for 10 years? You should have taken quite a bit of useful knowledge away with you to apply to your life after all those years. If not, then you should consider perhaps therapy isn't the answer you're looking for. Look into the services of a psychologist or a psychiatrist and what they may have to offer you instead of talk therapy. Contact your PCP for referrals for any or all of the mental health services you seek.

Good luck.

as a psychologist I would question the 10 years. Ten years of talk therapy is a long time. But she could be addicted to therapy. One can be addicted to anything. And some people just like to run on and on. I always give the number for the county mental health board. they provide lists. I notified them when I retired and gave instructions on obtaining records. I gave 6 months notice of my retirement date. I also kept them notified when I had openings in either therapy and in state mandated alcohol classes.

You could chance it and just call her and leave a message, asking if she'll recommend someone so that you can continue, but that you respect her position and wish her a great retirement to come. She could just call and leave a message, or send a card, and it wouldn't be as if you were asking anything out of line.

I was in therapy for a short time about 20 years ago. One day I noticed the therapist wasn't taking notes anymore. I asked him if he thought I still needed to be there,tand he said, "I think you're doing fine now, but it's your decision whether to keep coming."

That's all it took for me to realize I no longer NEEDED therapy. Think about whether you NEED therapy or whether you only need something to fill your time and bring you satisfaction.

My daughters therapist retired and my daughter moved soon after. I know she really misses her therapist. She has had a difficult time finding a replacement in her part of the country. She has used her “therapy” time on her pets, hobbies (including extreme exercise) and volunteering but I know she would really like to find another.

I notice that psychology today has a good many listed and they let you know if they are taking new patients, what their fees are, which insurance they take etc. Also your medical doctor may have references to offer.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists

Needing a a therapist after ten years of therapy? Something must be wrong either with the therapist or with the patient. May be a case of therapy addiction.

My therapist of 7 years raised her rates to almost $200 an hour and dropped my insurance. I had done a couple of virtual visits, but they were pointless.

I finally decided that it was time to 'break up' with her. She did a lot for me, helped me through some really bad memories and helped me to learn different coping mechanisms and, I truly believe, saved my marriage. So--I am content with probably never seeing her again.

She also will not do any kind of contact as she has to make a living too! But her rates doubled in the last 2 years and I felt that for $200, I could probably find something to do that would benefit myself and others. That's been a good plan for me, so far.

I feel for you--having changed therapists 3 times in 20 years--it takes ages to 'break one in' so to speak. And then to decide that they were not who I needed to talk to. I was blessed with this last one and I did come home from appts and make notes, also she recommended books for me, so I will lean on those for a bit.

It's like losing a really great friend (that you're paying) and not to be taken lightly.

Try 'going it alone' for a bit and see if you have actually healed sufficiently that you won't need a therapist. IO have days I wish I had mine again (and I can jump back in if I want, I'm just feeling like for $200 a session, I should be getting 'more'.

Your ex-therapist should not just dump you. She should give you a list of therapists she knows who could take you on. Just retiring and cutting off all ties is not very professional.

It's OK to mourn the end of a 10 year relationship, It's not easy to make a transision to another therapist after all that time. Best case scenario is that she referred you to another therapist or gave you some names. I know that finding a therapist these days is quite difficult. Wishing you success in your search.

Hi Shirley... are you now or have you ever been a member of a faith congregation? If so, please call your rabbi, pastor, priest, etc. If not, it is perfectly ok to call one even if you're not a member or attender. They will be happy to talk to you. How is your husband doing? Are you getting enough help with him after his surgery? Is he back walking? Wishing you peace in your heart.

She was a therapist, and not a friend, so something is lost in all those years in helping you to understand the difference. It is her job to help you. I was a nurse and I recognize how close you become to someone whose profession is caregiving. Patients would often ask me to visit them in their homes, to go out to dinner with them. This is a natural thing to happen when you share your entire life and inner being with someone. But sadly she has retired. Her job is over. I hope that she was able to explain this to you. Unfortunately you don't really have any choices here in so far as she is concerned.
It will take time now to find someone else for your therapy. I know she will help you. That at least would be the normal course of events when a therapist retires. Wish you good luck in forming a bond of trust with your new therapist.

call your county mental health agency. They can provide you with a list of psychologists who are accepting new patients. She is retiring she most likely wants to make a clean break with past clients. I retired as a psychologist 3.5 years. ago I've had no contact with past patients.