She has always had someone to take care of her. Now it’s me. We didn’t grow up together. I am now getting very frustrated and stressed over different things. I hate it sometimes that its only me that has the job. I love her but she is a handful. I need some support on how to keep things more smoothly. I probably resent the fact that I have to be the responsible one. There is no one else. I feel guilty at times and flustered at others. I need some guidance.
I see your Aunt lives in her own house. Does she own this house? If yes, see how much equity is in the house and use that to help her pay for continuing care, mainly Memory Care. If self-pay would be difficult, then start the ball rolling to get your Aunt accepted by Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. Medicaid will pay for room/board and care in a nursing facility.
Unfortunately, auntie’s behavior will get worse as the disease progresses and so will your frustration. Have a plan at least in mind if not in place for her.
Maybe it is time to simply manage her care, rather than to continue to provide it all yourself. Have you considered a care center? (Assisted Living, Memory Care, Nursing Home) She would be getting the level of care she needs from three shifts of workers. You would still be her advocate and make sure she is getting good care, and you would get to visit her as a loving relative, not as a primary caregiver.
What is Aunt's financial situation? Is she paying you? Does she get a regular income? What kind of savings/assets does she have? Do you think that she would qualify for Medicaid. (BTW, are you in the US?)