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I was engaged and his daughter having POA took my fiance' away and has him isolated from anyone she dislikes. She won't let him see me and he's devastated. She told him I left him and he's really depressed. What can I do? I want to see him.
Your profile says that the gentleman is in independent living, and that he has depression and mobility problems. None of these factors would enable a daughter with power of attorney to prevent her father from seeing whomever he likes - he has only to tell the staff at the ILF, or pick up the phone, and state his wishes.
So what information is missing? How is the daughter able to isolate her father from anyone she disapproves of? Where did she take him away from, and why?
This is more of a side issue: but if you haven't been able to see him, how do you know what version of events the daughter told him and how do you know he is devastated by it?
A POA doesn't stop someone from visiting him, it is up to him not her. As for the loan do you have a promissory note? If not, you can kiss the money goodbye unless he will pay you back, it is also up to him. Sounds like he is playing both ends against the middle. The ball is in his court, not hers.
For some reason, in R.I. my POA sibling has been able to prevent me from seeing my mom in her home. If I call or try to see her he calls the police & tells them I’m harassing her which I’m not.
I hope you got a promissory note or an IOU. Does he really have the funds to repay it? You may have to take him to court for repayment.
The person who has the POA cannot keep him from seeing you. Thats not what a POA is for. If u know he misses you, then u know where he is. Call APS and ask if they can investigate and see what he wants.
Ok, I followed the link here from the other question.
A POA would not keep you from visiting him. If he is in a care facility, you can visit him as long as he can have visitors and you are not disruptive to him. Have you tried to visit him, or have you just accepted you cannot because this is what his daughter said? As for the loan...that is separate from visiting and contact. Maybe she "won't let you see him" because she feels you are harassing him for the loan money...I can understand that. Just a thought.
How do you know she won't let you see him? How do you know he's devastated, and how you do know what she told him and that he's depressed? If you haven't been able to see him or contact him, how would you know WHAT is going on? Something is missing from this story. If you know where he is, just show up for a visit!
As far as 'lending' money goes, unless you have something in writing, plan to never see that money again. A personal 'loan' is like giving money away for free, never to be seen again.
Some clarification also is needed. Is the daughter proxy under a DPOA, POA or medical POA such as a Living Will? Her authority to act depends on language in the specific document. E.g., if she's health care proxy, she doesn't have authority to manage his financial affairs. Of if she's a business proxy, absent specific language in the enabling document, she doesn't have authority to prevent him from seeing you.
I hesitate to ask this b/c it could be hurtful, but are you sure he just doesn't want to continue the relationship and is using her to discourage you?
In addition, what was his mental state when you lent him the money? And as others have asked, a very important issue is whether this was a documented loan. And, what was it for? Health care expenses? Living expenses?
I'm afraid you're not on strong ground if you don't have documentation, and also if the daughter is interceding to prevent you from contact with your friend.
I can't help wonder though, why he can't act on his own? How DOES she control him so that he's unable to contact you directly, including by phone? Something seems amiss here.
BTW, NEVER, NEVER under any circumstances post real names on a public forum!
You should modify your profile immediately and remove the name of the man for whom you are allegedly caring.
Perhaps this kind of indiscretion with your BF's personal name is why his daughter is blocking your access. I would do the same if I were in her situation.
JoAnn, thanks for that reminder. I still don'talways check posts to see when they're dated, as I'm focused more on what I want to write, and sometimes end up as I did today: responding to someone who isn't even around anymore.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
So what information is missing? How is the daughter able to isolate her father from anyone she disapproves of? Where did she take him away from, and why?
This is more of a side issue: but if you haven't been able to see him, how do you know what version of events the daughter told him and how do you know he is devastated by it?
They tell me he has POA & it’s a civil matter.
The person who has the POA cannot keep him from seeing you. Thats not what a POA is for. If u know he misses you, then u know where he is. Call APS and ask if they can investigate and see what he wants.
A POA would not keep you from visiting him. If he is in a care facility, you can visit him as long as he can have visitors and you are not disruptive to him. Have you tried to visit him, or have you just accepted you cannot because this is what his daughter said?
As for the loan...that is separate from visiting and contact.
Maybe she "won't let you see him" because she feels you are harassing him for the loan money...I can understand that. Just a thought.
As far as 'lending' money goes, unless you have something in writing, plan to never see that money again. A personal 'loan' is like giving money away for free, never to be seen again.
Some clarification also is needed. Is the daughter proxy under a DPOA, POA or medical POA such as a Living Will? Her authority to act depends on language in the specific document. E.g., if she's health care proxy, she doesn't have authority to manage his financial affairs. Of if she's a business proxy, absent specific language in the enabling document, she doesn't have authority to prevent him from seeing you.
I hesitate to ask this b/c it could be hurtful, but are you sure he just doesn't want to continue the relationship and is using her to discourage you?
In addition, what was his mental state when you lent him the money? And as others have asked, a very important issue is whether this was a documented loan. And, what was it for? Health care expenses? Living expenses?
I'm afraid you're not on strong ground if you don't have documentation, and also if the daughter is interceding to prevent you from contact with your friend.
I can't help wonder though, why he can't act on his own? How DOES she control him so that he's unable to contact you directly, including by phone? Something seems amiss here.
You should modify your profile immediately and remove the name of the man for whom you are allegedly caring.
Perhaps this kind of indiscretion with your BF's personal name is why his daughter is blocking your access. I would do the same if I were in her situation.
JoAnn, thanks for that reminder. I still don'talways check posts to see when they're dated, as I'm focused more on what I want to write, and sometimes end up as I did today: responding to someone who isn't even around anymore.