I had someone coming in but she is unreliable. I need a break and will have to place my mother in a facility if I don't get help. She has severe dementia. Finding someone to drive 30 to 45 minutes seems impossible. I am paying privately. What does anyone suggest?
Is it just you in the home as the caregiver? That's really tough to do. I would think you are already overwhelmed. Have you considered placement for her in Memory Care or Rest home? If you have a couple of weeks with her in respite care, perhaps you can explore all your options, the costs and figure out what option is best for your mother.
Make sure the day care facility is willing to take someone with advanced dementia. They may have limits on the kind of care/attention they can provide while someone is there, and if their dementia is beyond that level, daycare might not be a good choice. E.g. they won't change incontinent briefs, or may not directly feed anyone. The elderly person may have to be able to sit in a wheelchair vs be bedfast. Ask, tour.
And also look at your choices in your community for memory care. YOU do NOT have to pay for that. It comes out of your mom's money and then when her assets are spent, Medicaid comes in to pay. This is the way it works now days.