I live in an independent living apartment for seniors. Can you suggest any plan of action for me?

FreqFlyer, good point about the watches. These days they're more a combination of some time functions along with workout and basic medical functions as well.    Great for the heavy duty workout folks.    I just want to know what time it is.  

Dosmo, something else occurred to me.   Have you had any recent blood tests and if so, were your values low on any of them, especially hemoglobin?   I find that if I don't really balance my food intake, my physical and mental functions deteriorate quickly.

There are tricks to help with losing things. Constant frustration about those failings can be almost as bad as the bigger issues. Suggestions: Get a little memo pad with a ring binder at the top, like mine 2”x5”. Write lists on that, and tear them off and bin them when they are done with – you can even tear below the top one, if the top one still matters. Get a cup hook and screw it into the side of a wooden cupboard. Hang a small bag off the cup hook. The bag is where you ALWAYS put the memo pad, the keys, the checkbook, and a pencil. If you can get those frequent annoyances under control, you may feel more in control and able to face the ‘bigger’ things.

GardenArtist, I've also noticed very few people even wear watches anymore. I know for myself, I feel lost without my watch which I have worn for for over 50 years. I started out with a Cinderella watch and worked up to one that has a daily date [to which is difficult to read now].

The last time I had to draw a face of a clock during a yearly physical, I quickly glanced over to my watch as I couldn't recall which arrows sizes were used for the hour and for the minutes :P

The bank I use recently changed over the format for their monthly bank statements. Actually it is easier to use. I know I could check my balance on-line but I rather not have on-line access.

Alva, something just occurred to me.  Who these days doesn't have a digital clock, with no little or big "hands"?    I haven't seen a round clock with "hands" and numbers in years.

It's all this digital stuff, with ugly red glaring numbers that are hard on  my eyes.

That might the issue there  - if she hasn't used an "old fashioned" clock, it might take her more time than allotted to figure it out.   

And I can also understand the difficulty with bank statements, especially if she does online banking.    Maybe she could try a bank statement section by section, taking breaks and doing something very positive in the interim.

I don't challenge your observations; I'm just thinking how these same issues have affected me.

And I can attest to the difficulty of reading bank statements in small print.   My eyes get a good workout squinting, which is another pet peeve - the reduction in size of many printed items, ranging from hospital consent forms to disclosure statements in purchase agreements.

Dosmo, I think one of the most important things to do as we age is to continue at some level or another the mental and physical activities of earlier years, and, most importantly, learn to use relaxation to refresh our brains. 

What hobbies do you have?  In what activities do you engage?   Do you read?  Do puzzles?   Work math problems? Craft?  Garden?

I've encountered similar experiences, thought about it a lot, and find that changing lifestyle behavior after the death of my last close family member and the stress it brought is helping me restore my brain function.

I firmly believe that, like physical exercise, our brains need mental exercise, whether it's working puzzles or doing complicated math problems. 

One pleasurable activity could be learning a new language, and meeting new people in the process.  You don't have to be highly conversant, just putting your mind in the learning mode will help.

Join a book club, even an online one if you're not able to physically get out easily.    Visit a Senior Center, meet new people, and take some classes, just for fun and to meet new people.   In fact, the art of getting acquainted is an excellent brain exercise in itself.

What hobbies did you used to do and still can do?   Which of them will stimulate your mind?  

Start with one new activity, something you enjoyed doing, and pursue it.   When your mind starts fogging up, take a break.

I remember when I was in college and was discussing this issue with a friend in law school (we were in our 20s).   She observed that sometimes she "meets herself coming and going."   This was after I shared that I felt as if my brain was being scrambled, in what I later learned was a superconductor.  

I still feel that way, especially when I think back on the challenges and anxiety of caregiving, and when I allow myself to become frustrated over the lack of accomplishment now.   So I take a break, read the English Garden magazines, and my mind starts soaring again with plans for new garden beds.  

Thinking is sometimes like running; you have to start at a moderate pace and work up to another level.

BTW, I'm in my mid-70s.  

Dosmos: In answer to your update, do make an appointment NOW with your primary doctor. There tell what you have told here. I didn't know you had dealt with a cancer dx in past, so not only are we alike being RNs retired and of an age, but we both survived the big C. I am 31 years out from it. That complication makes me think that this checkup is all the more crucial now. I want you to take what you have posted here with you. Because if you say "Losing things" he or she will laugh and say "Oh, don't we ALL?" You need to tell them about the math problems, the clock problems, the not knowing what assets you have or how to figure out your monthly statements. This is going to have your MD arranging a neuro consult. They are the ones to do it and I would say it is crucial and nothing to be said or done until THAT is done, and you know where things stand. Having the cancer in the past can mean that you are dealing with some recurance; I don't want to scare you any on that one, but they can do good fixes on some of that stuff and you HAVE to know.
IF your nephew doesn't want to manage things, it would still be nice to be closer, and a bank or a fiduciary can be appointed to manage finances. That would be better, if costlier, than his doing it, especially if it is not clear what things there are. I hope you know where old tax forms are. They can help enormously. You need someone to help you just go through and file things for you right now. That can be done by an organizer, even.
Dosmos, Private message me here any time if you just need to talk.
I am so sorry you are going through this, and are so alone? Are there FRIENDS in the mix? Even that would be an enormous help.

Dosmo13, I am in my 70's and I noticed my mind isn't as sharp as it once way.... just old fashioned age decline I keep telling myself.

The trick for keys and checkbooks is to place them in the same place each time. You can try saying out loud "I am putting my keys on __________". For some reason that helps with remembering.

As for failing the clock test, I bet the younger generation who have grown up with digital clocks cannot draw a clock by memory. For me, I rather have a clock face as I can judge quicker how much time I have left to go somewhere.

Oh, doing math in one's head, forgetaboutit. So many of use grew up with calculators that doing math in one's head is a lost skill. I'd be so lost without one.

When I was helping my parents, in their 90's, and needed to learn everything about Alzheimer's/Dementia just in case, I found myself over-sensitive should I forget someone's name, date, place, yada, yada, yada. I tend to freak out.

Then I had to keep reminding myself that being in the 70's means my brain is like file drawers, all those drawers are filled, some info misfiled, thus it takes us longer to find the info we need :P

For the tax accountant, get yourself a large legal size envelope and stuff everything that the accountant would need. And add to it during the rest of the year. If the item in the mail says "tax information", I don't even open it, just shove it into that envelop.

I think you know what I am going to say, because I am a retired RN, as well. I am 77; so we are not too far apart. I think now that you are worried enough that DO KNOW you must see your primary MD and ask for the neuro referral for the testing. You must know for yourself where you are now. And then you must meet with your nephew and come up with a plan.
I must tell you that anxiety, to my mind, is the worst enemy a failing mind can have. Since my brother went into assisted living his mentation is about 100% better than it was before; since I manage his trust, his bills, etc. his mind is so much more alert that I wonder WHY I am struggling along to do it. Anxiety is what a lot of your stuff is sounding like except for the "cannot do math" and the "failed the clock".
So step one. Bite the bullet. Off to your own doc for the referral.
Step two, get the test. Tell them exactly what you just told us. Can't do the math and can't do the clock (because honestly NONE OF US can find our danged keys and checkbook!).
OK woman. There ain't nothing so tough as an old RN! Get out there and get it done and then get back to us. And to your nephew as well. Make sure he is up to it and if necessary give him over the control of the purse and POA (if you trust him) NOW while you and he are ready to go together to the banks, the Social Security, and etc. because this would take a whole LOAD off your plate.
And yes, the knees and the walker are worrisome. You already know that. Are you driving? I hope not. Time to come up with a list of the assets and income. Time to look around at what is available for some future time if needed. To talk with Nephew about possibly moving to Senior living more near to him? You are right where you should be--that is to say, thinking about all this.
Get back to us. Stay in touch. Update us. I am going to worry about you until I hear more!

Hi, I’m fairly new here And not sure I have any good answers for you but I just saw your post pop up and wanted you to know that I wish you well. I am dealing with my mom and also searching for guidance and understanding. Perhaps there is a Council on Aging or Senior Center near you that can connect you with resources. Perhaps a telephone call to your nephew is overdue to explain how you are managing (or not managing). Have you spoken to your doctor? I hope you you find the help you need—-good luck!