I am the oldest of 4 and the only girl. They put my next to the youngest brother in charge, and we both live in the same area as them. Now my problem, he is shutting me out and is constantly accusing me of taking advantage of our parents, which by the way I have never done!! I just don’t know what to do anymore! Yesterday evening my daughter took some food over to them and discovered they had not eaten all day as their caregiver didn’t come! I’m furious and don’t know how to handle this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you!
Next, one or both of them should be taken to the doctor to discount a physical reason for their issues. A UTI, thyroid problem and medication overdose can all cause dementia-like symptoms.
If they are cleared of physical causes for their mental decline, then the legally designated PoAs need to act to get them protected and cared for. From now on the PoA/caregivers cannot rely on what they say if your parents have memory issues or cognitive problems. They will think they're telling you something accurate and seem very sure about it but you cannot rely on this anymore.
If they have decline which is noted in their medical records and there is no PoA assigned, then guardianship/conservatorship is the only option left for either the family or the county. If the family doesn't pursue guardianship through the courts, then the county will eventually need to move to secure it. Once they have it, the family loses control over medical decisions and financial transparency.
Please let us know more info so the forum participants can give you the best suggestions to help you.
Good luck!