BP/pulse all over the place. She’s fighting so hard. Today she couldn’t even stay awake to visit her grandaughter and great grand. Nurse says watch vitals. Last reading was 98/45. Oxygen stays in 80’s without it on. I’m struggling with this!! I cannot say goodbye just yet! I know she's waiting for me, I think I'm the child she's most worried about.
It’s hard to get started saying these words, but those words will likely tumble out once you begin. I and many of us on this forum have been where you are.
I’m sorry you and your mother are going through this. *hug*
How about if you just stay by her and tell her everything is okay and that you love her. This will be a comfort to you both.
God bless you and your mom and may she be soon know peace.
Just be upbeat about your own future and your confidence. You don't want your mom to have added distress as she's dying, but you giving permission or not has nothing to do with when she will die.
You don't have much time left with her, and she might just be hanging on until you say the words so she can go.
God bless you and your family as you journey with your mom from this life to the next.
She was always determined to do her best and I think she needed to hear that it was ok to stop trying so hard and let go when she was ready and that we would be there to take care of each other.
She died about 20 minutes after I talked to her. At first I felt guilty, but really I just gave her permission to be at peace, in case she wanted it and she already knew that I loved her.
Tell her she can go to sleep in Jesus whenever she wants and you'll see her in Heaven when she wakes up.
Prayers
Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glint on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you wake in the morning hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circling flight.
I am the soft starlight at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry.
I am not there, I did not die.
Write down all the thoughts and feelings your have about your mom that are positive. These are the best reasons you want her to stay.
Write down all the ways she is suffering and all the negatives about her current situation. These are the best reasons to let her rest.
How can you honor, treasure, and pass along the positive thoughts and feelings about your mom? I would suggest telling her all those positives.
How long are you willing to "hold her to life" after looking at your lists? If the dismay catches your heart at the suffering you listed, you can probably let her go.
Tell her you love her. Tell her that you and the rest of the family and friends will be OK. Tell her it is OK to rest and stop fighting. If God is a big part of your or her life, tell her to go into the Divine's arms.
it was textbook “asking permission”, plus the “bus” as the “vessel.”
I said “yes, it’s ok to get on the bus now. Everything’s taken care of.”
He died hours later peacefully.
I would have breakfast, dinner and supper with her every day, She kept asking me if it was ok to wish to die, I did say that it was ok, She started to eat les and a week later she stopped eating, she went into a semi coma, hospice said she would last perhaps one day, or one week or a month, that night I went to her room Daughter was there sing to her a spiritual song Do not be afraid, I sat by her and held her hand talking to her, at about 7.45 in the morning she took her last breath, I was told that the hearing is the last thing dying people would loose.
It has been two months since she passed away, I miss her very much, but she is not suffering anymore.
May The Lord give you grieving mercies and comfort during this new season of your life.
Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation; sending you a hug and a prayer for peace.
During dad's final months we had a discussion about his dying. I assured him those left behind would be fine after he went. His answer to me was he didn't think we'd be fine after he left this world. In some ways maybe he was right.
Mom, my brother and I at times told him that when it was time to go that he could go on to his next life. One day he just went to sleep in his favorite chair and never woke up. I am sure he is much happier where is he is now, joined with family and friends that went before him.
It's sad for us who are left behind.
That was back in the very early nineties . I have lost others since then and my take away is this …If I get to the place where I have no quality of life , selflessly , let me go , tell me you love me , tell me I will be remembered, tell me I’ll be missed and give me permission to go .
You don't have to define the connection...might just be exchange of holiday cards.
Parents often want to hear that their children will be 'all right' even when the 'child' is in her 60s.