My mother lives in a 1 bedroom apartment. The manager claims I was staying there longer than allowed and made unfounded accusations about "smoking pot" which I haven't done in 25 years. My mom had a stroke and was on the floor, possibly a week. This wouldn't have occurred if I was able to come see her. Was even threatened with trespassing. I want to live with her and be her care giver. She'll say I'm not on the lease. Would a letter from a Physician saying I'm her live in caregiver help? I've caused no trouble there. I don't care about being paid. Also there's a man there who has groomed her and stolen a large sum of money (also wouldn't have happened if I was there). She was lonely and allowed him to continue to take her money after finding out. I went to the police and Adult Protective Services (who said there was ample evidence). but my mom won't press charges. I'd love to remove her from this sh** hole but have no options. What can I do?
I think that you have no options here.
You have already spoken to APS and they apparently think that your mother is well enough to make her own decisions. I would supply her with the numbers for 911 and step away.
The landlord cannot stop you from visiting your mother to check on her wellness. Any call he makes to sheriff of police would have them tell him that. If, as you have assured us, there has been no disturbance or wrongdoing on your part you can visit your mother to insure her well-being. But she is apparently competent, and has made her choices. She will have to bear the consequences.
You need now to get on with your own life. Check on your mom with an a.m. and p.m. phone call. Go to your own job, take care of your own home and family and/or friends.
I wish you, and your mom as well, the best of luck.
All in all, it seems like a better idea to move mom to a care facility. Or you rent an apartment and move her in with you. New beginnings and all that. However, I suspect you have no idea how much caregiving mom as a stroke victim will require. Study up on it and decide if you want to be her 24/7 caregiver. I think not, and once in it, you won't be able to get out of it easily.
Be careful what you wish for.
Or if your mom is that bad off perhaps it best that you look into having her placed in the appropriate facility where she will be looked after 24/7 and you can just be her loving son and advocate. And if money is an issue she can apply for Medicaid.
The not being on the lease is legally legitimate to keep you from living there, but how can you be prevented from visiting and why are they threatening you with trespassing?
Why do you have to live there in order to help your Mom? Maybe find out what the definition of "living there" is and just make sure you're not crossing that line.