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You - or rather she - could pay for a respite stay at a facility for her. You never know, she may actually like it there.
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Call some of the local assisted living facilities. Sometimes they will offer 3 days at no charge as an incentive to have you move there.
Good luck
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Check into respite care, if you end up having shoulder surgery you will not be up to taking care of anyone but yourself. My mom tried it a d ended up wrecking the surgery, so she had to have it redone.

I pray that PT is successful. Surgery sucks😲
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Cwheel, I am SO grateful to you for asking this question as I am in the same situation. I know from trying to get my house in order to sell that I can barely clean a half-room before needing a day’s rest because of the pain I’m in. I need shoulder and hip surgery.

The dog can be boarded and the cats are fine with a daily visit or so, but hubby needs 24/7 Care as he is bedridden. I like the idea of speaking with the hospital social worker or surgeon to see what options are available, especially for a couple like us whose pockets are empty. I appreciate that advice!
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cwheel, oh I went through that while caring of my parents. But I was still living under my own roof and my parents were still under their own. It still was a hassle as my parents thought I would be up and back to myself in a couple of days. Let's try 3 months!!

If you are hands-on, the only option is to have your Mom hire Agency caregivers. Your Mom probably would dig in her heels, and say she doesn't want strangers in the house. But this time she has no choice. You can't crawl out from recovery to help her.

I see from your profile that your Mom lives with you due to memory loss. Oh dear. You may have to bite the bullet and hire a caregiver for during the day from your own pocket. Someone who can take care of Mom and if time permits take care of you.
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Hospitals have social workers, and I've just learned that a surgeon can order a "consult" when recovery could be hampered by your need to take care of another. I have no idea what pre-surgery planning with a social worker might suggest, but it's something to explore . Also, I wonder if your Area Agency on Aging might have suggestions. It's so sad that people facing surgical challenges have to also take on the added responsibility for planning alternate care for their loved ones (and guessing or crystal-balling all LO's needs that might pop up -- emotional, financial, hands-on, legal etc.). At least a surgeon's social worker "consult" and Area Agency on Agency would be a start. Wish I knew of other resources. You are a very responsible person to ask this question. It seems like a huge hole in the systems we have.
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Look into respite care at local senior communities (assisted living or memory care) and look into day programs at memory care facilities. Do you have a PACE program nearby? (PACE = Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly) They may have some options, particularly during the day. Another way to help is to hire a geriatric care manager. This professional can figure it all out for you and get it done...but they can be expensive.
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I second the idea of calling your local Area Agency on Aging to see if they have ideas--they often have the best overall, unbiased knowledge of options and available services in your area. They may be able to direct you to private pay options. Depending on your state, there may also be some family caregiver resources, like a Family Caregiver Support Program or Respite Program that may be able to help with some of the expense for either in-home respite care or a respite stay in a facility. You'll want to plan ahead and get in contact with these programs ahead of time, as most programs will have a process they'll have to go through and may not be able to help on short notice. They might also have limited budgets they're working with, and may not be able to afford to help as much as you need. To find your local Area Agency on Aging, you can check with the Eldercare Locator online--it's a search engine run by the Administration on Aging where you can search for eldercare services in your area, by city/state or ZIP code.
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no other family members can help ...well the PT will help even if you have to have surgery i had some done back in 2002 had to have glenoid fixed with 2 screws put in to hold it in together ..well you can sign her up for medicaid but she cannot have much money i think it is less than 2 thousand $$$$ they can give you a caregiver 4 hours a day so that can help if need be ..well good luck
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We were offered a month of what they called "respite care" for free. Call around to assisted livings/nursing homes.
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