I'm 61 with breast cancer and I have no one. Does anyone know of a place to call for help or a place to go other than a nursing home?

Breast cancer survivor here. I was able to get my mastectomy, recover very quickly, go through adjuvant chemo for 6 months, (one treatment every three weeks. I worked all the time I did this. I never upchucked once. I never lost my hair. My cancer had already gone into two nodes, and yet, THIRTY FIVE YEARS LATER I am still here.
I encourage you to get treatment.
Go to the MD who diagnosed you; get yourself on medicaid or whatever else you might need through their social worker's help. Access all the help you can in your community for support. Whether you are in a shelter or anywhere else to live, you can get through this with the help of accessing what is out there for you.
That's my advice. I can only advise you. It is up to you to choose to stay, and fight, or to choose not to stay. You have neglected treatment of this. That puts you behind, but mine wasn't found until it showed up in two fused lymph nodes under my arm, and like I said, here I am, only stronger, and having learned a whole lot about how to survive and how to love life more every day I do.
I wish you the very best. You are not alone in trying to access care while being poor.
I am very very sorry. I hope the experiences of others here will help you; many of us are cancer survivors.

I am so sorry you are going through all of this.

First if you are not getting anything in regards to inheritance of the house etc I suggest you just stop cleaning and clearing out the house. Take what you want as a remembrance of your mother and say f--k it to the rest. You already gave up emough of your life no need to keep doing it.

Second the American cancer society has resources for help when going through treatments. For example they can give you rides to chemo. I would call them and see if they have other help and resources for you.

This is from a resource book I have.

The American Cancer Society 800- 227-2345
www.cancer.org.
Nationwide, community-based voluntary health organization devoted to defeating cancer through research, support and advocacy.

American Institute for Cancer Research 800-843-8114
www.aicr.org
This organization funds research and gives people practical tools and information to help them prevent and survive cancer.

CancerCAre, Inc 800-813-4673
www.cancercare.org
Provides free, professional support services to help all affected to cope with and manage the emotional and practical challenges arising from cancer. offers counseling, support groups, education, publications, workshops and financial assistance.

Check your local Area Agency on Aging and see if you qualify for services.
Check local Senior Center, many have Social Workers that can help you find services that might be of help.

AND....you need support of friends. Begin to reconnect with people that you have not been able to keep in contact with.
I have said that one of the things you need to do when you are a caregiver is to take care of yourself. One of the other things that you need to know how to do , and this is difficult...
ASK for help and
ACCEPT help.
People want to help but quite often they do not know what to do or what needs to be done. Asking for help is not an imposition, it is not "begging".

Hi, Take a minute to breathe. You cared for your parents with horrific times. You are strong. You’ll have team of medical professionals. You can beat this (and the odds are it’s a matter of months — not years).

Call 2-1-1. They have a network of resources and I believe your situation — housing, meals, assistance — is in their wheelhouse.
http://www.211.org/about-us

🙏🙏 🙏

Good Morning,

You are not alone in this. And the fact that you are reaching out is a good thing. You know enough to speak up. The help may not come from the people you would hoped would have stepped forward but it may come from another source.

You could try the Gloria Gemma Breast Cancer Resource Foundation
Mandy@gloriagemma.org with any questions. They could put you in contact
with resources in your State. Programs and Services (401) 861-4376 or
info@gloriagemma.org

How about if you contact a social worker. Usually there are support groups for Women with Breast Cancer, workshops etc. I was under the impression that there was a lot of networking and resources at hospitals and Women's care.

Perhaps you could speak with an Elder Attorney for a "free consultation" for an hour to see if somehow you could get paid from the sale of house for your time and work that you put into caregiving. I wouldn't be polite about this.

The sooner you can join an online support group where you can share with other women who have walked in your shoes, the better. The more heads you put together on this one, the better.

The best help are people who have been through it. Survivors of breast cancer who have compassion, know the routine and will give you support and a new group of friends.

I hope this was of some help to you. You are in my prayers!

We’re the same age and have similar circumstances (long-time caregiver, both parents recently died, have no place to live, a frightening health diagnosis, & a lack of resources). It's stressful. As tired and hopeless as you may feel, the clock is ticking and you need a plan to ease your burden and find some well-deserved peace. This is your life and you get to make the choices.

Here’s how I’m approaching it - solo:

1.      Food – Locate local food pantries and explain your medical situation. https://www.needhelppayingbills.com/html/midland_food_pantries.html Volunteers will often deliver to your home or package items for curbside pick-up. Some places also provide referrals for emergency housing, etc.
2.      Shelter – Locate local agencies for a referral to food, housing, health, and safety. You may have to consider renting a room or sharing an apartment. And don’t lift a finger at your mother’s home. Change the locks. Pack your own belongings and keepsakes that were hers, and wait for the eviction notice.
3.      Medical Care – Discuss your decision with your physician and ask about resources that might be available to you. What can you afford to pay for? Do you need public assistance?
a.      Reach out to Cancer support groups and ask for what you need. Be specific.
b.     You stated that because you have no one to help, you will not treat the disease. If you had someone – anyone – would you feel differently? If you had support would you make a different choice? My 82-year-old neighbor fought 3 rounds of breast cancer all by herself. Friends did her weekly grocery shopping (or Walmart online ordering/free delivery is available in most areas) and they did drive her to chemo on the days when she could not drive herself. It can be done.
c.      Advanced Healthcare Directive – if/when you are no longer able to make medical decisions for yourself, you must have your wishes in writing and have the document on file at any facility that you stay with. Make copies and file at your physician's office, residential facility, etc.  https://www.caringinfo.org/wp-content/uploads/Texas.pdf
d.     Medicaid – Medicaid programs vary by state and generally cover a broad array of health services and limits enrollee out-of-pocket costs. Medicaid finances nearly a fifth of all personal health care spending in the U.S., providing significant financing for hospitals, community health centers, physicians, nursing homes, and jobs in the health care sector. If you don’t qualify, ask about other programs. Social Security Disability is another option to pursue.
e.     Hospice At-Home – Too many people think Hospice is just for the final days/weeks of life. My father was in at-home Hospice for nearly 2 years. Medicare paid for equipment, comfort-care medications, a nurse, a social worker, and daily aides to help with bathing, meals, changes of linens, etc. The Hospice social worker is your advocate and will help you navigate and apply for programs to pay for services if you don’t qualify for Medicare. Call your local Hospice and they’ll come to your home to determine if you qualify. It's a free consultation.
f.       Estate Planning – Decisions need to be made or you become a ward of the state and the state determines where you will be placed, burial vs. cremation, etc. If it makes sense, get an attorney OR use an affordable online estate tool to create: (1) Power of Attorney, (2) Advanced Healthcare Directive/Living Will, and (3) Last Will and Testament. I chose Quicken WillMaker & Trust which is available at www.NOLO.com and customizable by state.  Then I took the documents to a local notary. Easy.
4.      General Resources: https://money.com/solo-seniors-elder-orphans-resources/
5. Reach out to connect with old friends and extended family.

If you do decide to allow the disease to run its course, then shift your focus to comfort care and fulfill some bucket list items for pleasure. You deserve to have some happiness! All the best to you.

What I am feeling right now is that you are a woman who has been slammed. Just as you were about to have some normalcy to your life, you had the wind totally knocked out of your sail. The previous years drained you. I totally get that. Just the words breast c (I never use the whole word because I refuse to give it a real name or title) are enough to shock the entire mental/physical body. Totally understand that, too. Right now you can't see how strong you are. You took care of these two people in your life without the support of anyone else. You many not be able to see your strengths, but I know they are there.

First talk with your doctor again. Take a list of questions with you to your appt so you don't rely on your tired brain to remember what to ask. Find out what your treatment options are: chemo (radiation) first, then surgery (neoadjuvant care) - or - surgery, then chemo and/or radiation. Chemo first means the doctor can see if treatment is working/change drugs/check again - then remove the tumor. Several options for surgery/rebuilding the boob that can be discussed as well. Ask about all options.

C treatment has come a long way. There are the old standard protocols and now there are 'designer' treatments suited to the type of c you have. They determine what drives your c and use drugs that shut those things off to supply growth to the tumor. If you have heard all the old stories about how sick someone got during treatment, set them aside for now. There are plenty of meds to prevent that, to prevent much of the suffering that the cure used to create. It is very possible for you to do this without personal aide type help.

Perhaps you haven't been abandoned by your friends - you have just lost touch with the other huge portions of work you had on your own plate. You were removed from their life. They still worked and played and things just didn't work out for all of you to see each other. Try to reconnect - put your hurt feelings aside to be open to being social again.

You live in 'their' home. If the home is being sold, who is going to get the proceeds if you are not being included? You will be moving somewhere if the house is sold. Find your new place to live: small efficiency to start. Take the things that have meaning to you and your personal belongings: Boxes to go to new place and some things to storage if necessary. Get a local moving company to get everything you want out of current house and sorted/placed to new residence. Then walk away from the house and let the person who gets money from the house deal with all the rest of contents. Don't put one more dime into the upkeep or utilities once you find your own place - your money pays for your living expenses.

If you can't connect with old friends, find new ones. If you believe in God, I highly recommend a church. Reconnect spiritually.

Breast c does not always mean you've been given your expiration date. The doctors can refer you to counseling and other services. If you are income limited, check with your county for available services. Right now you're at the bottom of a hole looking up. You are stronger that you can believe at the moment. Stand up and you're half way out of the hole. Then take a step...and another...and you'll be out of the hole. You can do this!

Contact Your local Catholic Charities. They may be able to help you find housing. I went through the same thing as you spending years taking care of my parents with dementia, finally get my life back (as in no more parents to care for 24-hours per day) only to be diagnosed with cancer. My resources were extremely limited as well, but I fought through it and I’ve been cancer free three years. There is hope for you out there. It will just take some time. I got counseling and it was extremely helpful for me, but it did take several counselors to find the right one.

You do NOT have to do this alone. There are yet-to-be made friends out there. Lots of good advice from others here. Please start by calling wherever you were diagnosed and being forthright about your story. Whatever your choice about treatment, you can make the most of whatever is the course of the rest of your life. Please be as kind to yourself as you would to someone else during this difficult changing season of your life.

Call the American Cancer Society. I worked for years on Relay For Life - they have many resources available. You could also try the Susan G. Komen Association - they specialize in breast cancer. You definitely need to catch a break! Good luck to you!