I will be making his meals all household chores he takes medicine making sure he takes them I don't bathe or any of that but just making sure he has what he needs and being here incase he falls he's 90 and frail. I don't know what to change. I'm not sure exactly the schedule yet but so far it's been 16 hrs a day at least . I'd like to know what to request for my pay. I do sleep at nite but still have to be on alert if he's up.and around. What is a reasonable wage weekly to reauest?
Have you ever handled transfers from bed to wheelchair? Or walker? Or toilet? Or changed a Depends? Held a urinal so he can use it? Helped him in and out of a car? Would you recognize a stroke? A seizure? What would you do if he left the house and you have no idea where he was going, walking or driving? So many things can go wrong in a short period of time, and you shouldn’t be responsible.
It may seem like an easy way to earn more money, but it could turn out to be a trap from which you can’t escape! Help in the best way you can, which is to be a dependable housekeeper who cares about him, as I’m sure you are.
Sure, right now all they expect from you is meals, medication reminders, and housekeeping until the father needs more.
I did this line of work for 25 years and own a homecare agency now. If you've never been a caregiver, the place to start is not moving in with a frail, 90 year-old man.
You say you'll be "allowed" to sleep at night but will have to be on alert if he's up and around. So in other words you won't be allowed to sleep at night either. You will literally be on duty 24 hours a day.
What happens when the dementia gets worse and he becomes incontinent? Or if he has to be transferred from bed into a wheelchair? Or has to be showered by someone or given a bed bath? Have you ever cleaned and diapered an adult? Trust me it is not like doing it for a baby.
You will be expected to do all of this by him and his family because after all you're the live-in caregiver.
If you don't even have an idea about what you should be getting paid and have never done this kind of work, say no. You're getting in over your head here.
That 'close friend' who wants to move you into their father's house to become his caregiver, will easily become a close enemy. This will happen.
I have seen this scenario play put many times with friends bringing friends in to caregive for an elderly parent or relative. I have had it happen to me. Families take advantage of the people who are in-home caregivers to their "loved one". Especially if you're working privately and not through an agency. Working for a friend, the advantage taking becomes blatant.
Be prepared to chase down your pay and often be stiffed on it. Be prepared to make their "loved one" your entire life because they will expect you to.
If you value your friendship with your close friend and want to keep it, say no to becoming their father's live-in caregiver.
You will never get the needed deep sleep this way, you will always be tired ,even if you sleep your body needs rem sleep That's very unhealthy for you to do 7 days a week.
Being "on alert" while trying to sleep won't work either.
You should be paid BY THE HOUR. DO NOT MOVE IN.
They are trying to pay you less by claiming "free room & board."
The poor man belongs in a nursing facility. His family is trying to avoid paying actual costs, and suckering you into a job you cannot do by yourself. You have no training or medical experience.
What would you do if the family had a change of heart and you had to move out suddenly (or your client went into a facility or passed away)? You wouldn't be allowed to stay there.
Maybe consider going through Care.com where at least you may get some protections. There are many people who chose to live-in as caregivers and came here with all sorts of difficult problems because of it. I personally wouldn't be a live-in for any amount of money.
Also, as an employer for many years, it is best to never hire (or work for) friends or relatives as it makes things awkward if you have to fire people or critique them, etc. Just go into it with your eyes wide open.
According to the laws here in DC we can't work over sixteen hour days as Home Health Aides. Don't let family members or friends try to manipulate you into sticking with someone for sixteen hour days with no relief. So, you only get to sleep eight hours and back on the job without showering, eating or sleeping?
I don't know what is wrong with some people who suggest this type of thing. Trust me, it will go way beyond medications and the other things you listed. At ninety years old, this person will eventually decline or is already declining. Room and board is not free if you become a slave to this situation.
Stick with your cleaning business. You need to pay into your social security taxes, medicare tax, state tax and other taxes that are taken out. This will be very important for retirement.
Please stop listening to relatives and friends. They need to go through the proper legal channels to get things done for their loved one including placement of this individual.
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