There is a live in daughter and a daughter that lives close and 3 more children that live in other areas and are here on occasion to visit. No one can come to an agreement about what's best for him and I’m here every week day and feel like I'm in the middle of all this !!!! What should I do or what can I do ? Both have threated legal action against each other!
My first question: Who in the family has the Power of Attorney? The other family members need to come to grips regarding who has the authority to make decisions. The other adult children would not have legal authority to make decisions. If you are to converse with any of them regarding the turmoil, it should be the POA. Turmoil in the home certainly adds to the stress for your patient, in addition to yourself. Obviously, that's NOT healthy for you or for him!
If one of the family members is abusive to the others, and if that's the cause of the turmoil, then you may want to contact Adult Protective Services - as suggested by Allisonthecarer. If the problem is caused by an abusive family member, and when that person is with their father alone, they may be abusive toward him when no one else is paying attention.
If the situation escalates, you may wish to consider moving on to find a more peaceful situation. As you know caregiving is stressful enough as it is! Neither you or the patient should have to endure the bickering and fighting.
If there isn't a POA, that's another reason to contact APS, because someone will need to make decisions for the patient. If the family spends all their time fighting, then they are also neglecting to provide proper care due to the stress they are causing. Guardianship may be necessary.
This will eventually affect your health - you need to report to your company and make sure you dot all your i's and cross the t's.
Caretaking and putting up with "family drama" that isn't even your family should not be in your job description.
Also a childless women had family where one niece had somehow wrangle assuming POA and she was abusive to her aunt took her to the cleaners. I felt too uncomfortable in an impossible situation. Once she died they all fought over her estate, but POA won. I was quite disgusted so I had left before that but kept in touch with another of her caregivers. Heartbreaking! Private duty care can be pretty unnerving. Families can be harder to deal with than clients. Good luck!