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The background check is making her have a big list of things and it's very hard. What holding this up is from over ten years ago. What can I do?

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Very good to know. I think my dad would agree to it if it was a Male. I may be able to work part time if hes eligible. He was in the Korean war and it was war time. Now the va has nothing that would pay me to be his caregiver do they? Unless his diagnosis was service related right? I think that's how I understood it to be. And congestive heart failure and end stage kidney failure dont come into service related. I'm not sure. It seems like I go round d and round with the people at the va.
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To ask someone to be your 24/7 care-giver for the rest of your life and refuse to allow any one else to help you is too much to ask of any human being. It will inevitably end badly for both of you. Every care giver needs help, needs breaks, needs time to be themselves, etc. I know it must be disconcerting to allow someone you don't know to help with very personal things, but if you love your S.O. at all, please reconsider demanding this of her.
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Since he’s a Veteran, you’re in luck! The VA covers the cost of an in-home caregiver. The number of hours covered each week depends on details of his service and disability. Talk with the social worker at the VA. We get 16 hours a week of help from a young man employed by a local reputable company. He’s excellent.

Also, I recently learned that veterans’ family caregivers are eligible for respite. I can’t remember the details, but something like 3 weeks of free housing for him in a local nursing home each year. Good to know!
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He is not on medicaid. He is a veteran and the va takes care of all his medical needs. He has a small pension and social security and that barely takes care of all of his expenses every month. I think hes got a few hundred in the bank. Thats it. He does own his home. But theres a mortgage to be paid every month. I think that im going to end up taking care of my dad for all these years and when he does die im going to have nothing. And it scares me so much. Its a very sad situation. And i bet there are alot of people that are in the same boat. My father says well at least youll have the house but i wont because i wont be able to afford it.
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Im not. Im his daughter. I need to look up the program you mentioned. Ive never heard of it.
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
Ok you are probably eligible to be a paid family caregiver for dad as long as he’s on Medicaid. Here’s the website for Nevada’s COPE program http://adsd.nv.gov/Programs/Seniors/COPE/COPE_Prog/

also contact the area on aging, there may be other programs in your county as well. Good luck!
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Worried in cali, are you sure its every state? Friends but not family? Im asking because i live in nevada and i cant get anything. Is it because im family?
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
Dcurnan, yes every state has at least one program. Some states will only pay certain family members. Nevada medicaid pays family caregivers through several programs. They have the COPE program that pays family caregivers, HOWEVER spouses and legal guardians are not eligible to be paid through this program. Does the person you care for qualify for Medicaid? Are you their spouse?
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Spud,

It is not fair your your significant other to not accept care from others. You are asking her to be on call 24/7 and no one deserves that.

Now if she has a record of something from the past that makes her ineligible to be paid by the state to care for you, then you need to accept other paid care givers while she appeals the decision.
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They do not always qualify family members, friends, SO to care for us. Is your SO also your POA? They almost never will qualify a POA or Guardian to get paid out of state medical funds. If you cannot afford to pay for the care, you have to accept the provisions of how care can be rendered to you. If this has been going on for 10 years I think we can safely say that they will not qualify her. Have you checked with a case manager for your care as to what the problem seems to be with the hold up?
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worriedinCali Sep 2019
every state Medicaid program will pay a family member or friend. Some family members are excluded.
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Your state (Oregon) has a special Medicaid program that allows a spouse to be a paid caregiver. Are you on Medicaid?
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AlvaDeer Sep 2019
Cali, would a SO qualify as "spouse?" Would she not have to be a Domestic Partner to qualify?
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Spud2you, the vast majority of caregiver do not get paid.... unless the person they are caring for can pay them from their own savings account.

Now, you can check with your State Medicaid office to see if they have a program where a caregiver can be paid but the pay may be limited. Each State has their own rules about such programs. Some States will not pay spouses, so it could also mean significant others [SO] or not.

It's worth a phone call.

As for the background check, not sure what you are referring???
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