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So sorry. You need an aide. Take the cost out of MILs SS if she gets it. If she has no money, call Medicaid and see if they will evaluate her for help. You are going to ruin your back. Your health should not be suffering. Can you give husband an ultimatum? You or her. Is she on a water pill? Maybe ask the doctor if she can cut back.

I'll tell you what some here will tell you. Set boundries. Both with MIL and husband. Tell her what you are willing to do and him too. My Mom only weighted 135, I can't imagine caring for a 200lb woman. Ask her doctor what she should be capable of doing? Ask if she can have therapy at home. They usually have aides. The therapist will evaluate and tell her what she can do on her own. Same with hospice and yor MIL may qualify. You would get an aide, free diapers etc. There are bars that hang over the end of the headboard. She can pull herself up to a sitting position. There are small side bars she can use to pull herself up. Put in "pull up bar for a bed". You should see what I am talking about. You may want to tell hubby that if you damage your back u won't be able to do anything.
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There are things you can do. When your husband comes home, take your car keys, tell him that it's his mother, he wipes her ass from here on out and you will not be returning. Then work on a formal separation or divorce. I don't see therapy helping with his attitude an views. You are not a slave and you ain't responsible for her and her care. If you don't have a separate bank account, get one and put your pension and disability in there.
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