I’ve really had it now with times during the month my grandma (with dementia) will scream in the middle of the night, bang on the walls and call for help. I can’t go back to bed because I’m so wound up. She’ll do this a few times a week then it will stop and it will be back to normal for a while. She’s quiet and sleeping is great BUT I’m still having trouble sleeping because I’m anticipating and fearing that I’m going to get woken. So, I keep waking up in the middle of the night between 1-5am. I wake up multiple times and can’t go back to sleep. I get more frustrated because it’s like my mind is playing tricks on me. I just want to freaking sleep again. I’m trying taking magnesium, meditations, ear plugs, sleep music but still my body wakes up for no reason and it’s adding more sleep anxiety because every night I’m just like please god let this be the night I get a full sleep. It’s been almost a week exact since I’ve had a peaceful restless sleep. Does anyone else struggle with? How can it be easier please I really could use some support and help?
1 - Start by talking with your grandma's doctor. She definitely is having sleep disturbances and needs some medications to help her relax and stay asleep. It would be worth it to have her evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist - preferably geriatric psychiatrist - who can prescribe medications that work well for the older generations.
2 - See a counsellor and/or psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. You are "anticipating" a rough night of broken sleep so you in essence wake up and "wait" for the disturbance. It really is a new sleep habit you have created. So getting Gram to sleep through the night is the start, then creating new habits for yourself to help ease back to sleep. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help you sleep better while you deal with the other issues.
Sleep deprivation is bad. This situation could go on for years. . . What are your plans and why is a facility out of the question?
I’m wondering if your beloved grandma would truly want you to sacrifice your current health and future wellbeing like this.
I went through it with my son. He used to call all hours and sign me up for things on the computer that would randomly call me at all hours of the night. I had to change my phone number and not give it to him. But that was after I developed severe insomnia. I would go 3 nights in a row with 0 minutes of sleep, then sleep 4 hours, then a few days again... I ended up having a mental breakdown. Don't risk your health, please!
Now I take sleeping meds and use an app called Better Sleep. I listen to sleep sounds, and on rough nights put on a meditation or a story. It's neat having your phone read you a bedtime story!
I agree with others who encourage you to find a way to get your grandmother into care. As the sole caregiver for my mom who lives with me, I am pursuing care for her because it’s getting to be much for me to manage.
I have to tell you though if you are getting up at night to change her you will still be getting up at night long after your role as caregiver ends.
It was probably a full year before I was able to sleep through the night fully not waking to listen if my Husband was restless. (although I never had him screaming or beating on the walls)
Hiring an overnight caregiver is an option as well (grandma pays for caregivers)
If this can not be managed and it effects you mentally and physically it might be that you have to look into Memory Care for her.
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