I'm having trouble turning my brain off and sleeping. Any advice?

I had the same issue - but my Mom was in a memory care center. She wasn't sleeping at night and calling me at all hours. Although I could shut the phone off, I didn't want to do it in case something happened in the middle of the night since she was up and around and they had to get in touch with me. But, working with the staff and nurses who were opposed to overmedicating thankfully, they tried her slowly on medication to ease her mind. It worked and she started sleeping through the night with no "medication hangover" the next day. So, I would suggest speaking with her doctor about appropriate medication that would calm her mind so she could sleep (might not necessarily have to be a sleeping pill).

I still do wake up during the night sometimes and do have Zolpidem that I can take 1/2 a pill if I cannot get back to sleep.

Hope this helps

Audiobooks, rosary if you are Catholic or other prayers/meditations. I used to work overnight care giving cases where I had to check the client every 3-4 hours to see if they needed a change of position or lavatory assistance. Even sitting in a chair sometimes, putting an audio book in one earphone while I left the other headphone out so I could hear if there was a call for assistance, got me back to sleep. Add a nap time during the day if possible?

I found a free meditation and sleep app called "Insight" on my iphone. Most of them cost $ but, so far this one has not They include sleep meditations. I have the same issue. When you wake up, it generally doesn't help to look at your phone (I do this sometimes, ugh). I also use an old biofeedback technique that mom taught me when I was a teen (ironically, I am often up and start worrying about her now) . Picture a blank screen and slowly with a paintbrush in your mind, focus on painting #'s on the screen, slow, o n e, two, etc. Sometimes, this still works for me. The focus is important. Good luck.

It has been said that taking care of an elderly person is like taking care of a newborn; they want fed and comforted around the clock, bathed and changed, etc. They expect you to be happy and patient, while they cry and complain about everything. But the difference is that babies grow up, while elders just get more infantile. I have been taking care of my 101 yr old mother for over 20 years. It does not get easier, and with dementia, you live in fear that she will leave everything to the church, or to the brother who never does a damn thing to help. Sleep is a luxury that you have to get whenever you can. I depend upon Tums and aspirin. (Over the counter meds are poison, in my opinion.)

This is just about your own sleep troubles. Some people (including me) have a ‘habit’ of waking at a particular time, and the habit is hard to shift. Drugs can help to break the habit, if you are sensible. It’s also worth checking if there is something that wakes you at a particular time - like our neighbor who goes to work at 4.30 am. We don’t hear him before we are awake and conscious of the noise, but it does affect both of us. DH goes back to sleep more easily.

Most sleeping tablets are addictive, and also stop working after a while. I became addicted myself, and it was quite unpleasant getting ‘clean’ – like jet lag for a fortnight. Now I have a limit of 3 nights in a row, followed by a couple of nights break even if things are difficult.

There are different types of drugs. Here the mildest are available without prescription and are based on antihistamines, like hay fever drugs, which make about 80% of people drowsy (not everyone). The effect wears off after a few nights in a row. Second, if I wake in the night, a half tablet of paracetamol (acetaminophen) helps me to go back to sleep, I don’t really know why. It works for DH too. Third, there are the true temazapan type sleeping tablets which are the ones to be careful about. An elderly friend said that eating something small helped him – his theory was that it gave the body something to concentrate on. Perhaps that’s why the paracetamol works.

To relax your brain, I tell myself a story from a book that I know well. It helps to take my mind off my worries. Georgette Heyer’s Regency Romances work well for me.

It’s important to be careful with drugs, though hospitals and some care facilities use them quite regularly. But they do help. Best wishes, Margaret

I am awake its 2 am and am usually awake every night for a few hours . I wear Flents Ear Plugs . Started acupuncture That does help at a community acupuncture clinic . My anxiety Is " What Is going to Happen today ? " I have been doing this for years waking up in the Middle of the Night . Sometimes its very hard to fall back to sleep . On Instagram I Noticed a App called Green Noise and Listened to it and Made me tired . FIVE CBD . Has some chocolates and Gummies That I have Used in the Past - they work but they can make you very groggy for a few days . You Could try 1 gummy or a small piece of the chocolate - their prices are reasonable . I am In the same boat as you . Sometimes I Might have wine at night - And In the Middle of the night Have tea and a English muffin. Definitely PTSD - I think Most caretakers in our Boat have PTSD . This is a Lot to handle .

Even if you do find a way to get to sleep, does that solve the problem of her screaming and banging on the wall and calling for help? That will still happen.
Zolpidem (Intermezzo) or a 1/2 of a 5 mg zolpidem, or a 1/3 of a 10 mg tablet, taken with a sip of water, will get you back to sleep. That's my advice. No reason to reinvent the wheel when there is a practical miracle rx.

Just wanted to say i totally feel you on this! Something similar happens to me..it happens between 3 and 8am...i suddenly bolt awake after "hearing" my father either calling my name, or screaming it, or i "hear" him banging on my door, and its never for real...its ruining my ability to get a decent sleep as well. All i know is a psychiatrist told me its called "hypnogogic phenomenon"...i dont care what its called, i feel like my brain is breaking and that its a sign of overload and a "normal" reaction to a very unusual, jarring and dysfunctional situation.
I'm sorry Im unable to offer you any help, just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in how you're brain reacts to such an experience.

This sounds similar to new moms that wake up anticipating a feeding when their baby hasn't woken up yet.
My husband finds Valerian Root helpful. It's got a strong odor but, definitely relaxes him & he can sleep thru the night.

texasgirl4life: Try to make sure that you get vitamin D (from the sun) during the day and this may help with your sleep health. To sleep, you may want to try melatonin.

Same here almost, but I left my job, for my father to take care of my stepmother, who has had Altz. For 18 yrs. She's on meds at night, but I'm always worried about her, she's been clenching her fist and I trimmed her nails way low, besides one, witch I got down ,it's. Like calcified hard, she's been eating her fingers and before this, cutting her fingers with her nails. Clenching her fist, I have mitts so I put them on her, after I put bandages on fingers, I had to take one MItt off because she put it in the toilet water, I washed it before bedtime, and got it on her before bed time, she got one bandage off by trying to eat it. I hade to scoop it out of her mouth. Constant watch, exhausting ! On top of my Father having End Stage COPD. But I'm left my job and my home to take care of her for him, My Daughter is an STNA, Certified, for years, she's trying to come in and take care of my Dad, homebound, insurance said no, for her to get paid, he is a reserve in the Army, we're going that route. If anyone knows anything about this please let me know. My Son's a Vet and he's. Looking into this!

I haven't read all the other answers. My thoughts are that it's tme to put her in a home. Sleep is so so very important for mental and physical health, and you are risking developing insomnia from this.
I went through it with my son. He used to call all hours and sign me up for things on the computer that would randomly call me at all hours of the night. I had to change my phone number and not give it to him. But that was after I developed severe insomnia. I would go 3 nights in a row with 0 minutes of sleep, then sleep 4 hours, then a few days again... I ended up having a mental breakdown. Don't risk your health, please!
Now I take sleeping meds and use an app called Better Sleep. I listen to sleep sounds, and on rough nights put on a meditation or a story. It's neat having your phone read you a bedtime story!

Can really relate. Besides ear plugs and isolation while resting, a very sound advice but expensive, is to buy a Safety Sleeper which guarantees absolute safety for the person sleeping inside, regardless of tantrums and unruly behavior, without allowing the user to get harmed during the allotted sleeping hours. Yes, their behavior patterns can jolt any caring caretaker at any time, therefore destroying any real chance to rest. Sorry to say, but jumping up every occasion a disturbance, screams, etc etc takes place, will only affect all parties involved. The lady, Rose, who invented the Safety Sleeper, is a caring soul forced by her own circumstances to control a very upsetting situation. Also, a Kindle reader, latest edition, can allow direct access to public libraries without having to purchase books. The heavier the subject the faster sleep might set in. The thing is if you have decided to caretake for a disrupting individual, you must block at least 10 hours (personal opinion) without worrying any further. You owe it to yourself and all the good members in the household who reside under the same roof. Without order things will not allow for much of peaceful hours. God Bless You and Good Luck!

You mind cannot think of two things at once. To help quiet the mind, instead of music, try a informative podcast that engages the brain and eventually as you relax you will fall asleep. I use the sleep timer on the podcasts.

I'm in favor of the above instead of pills, but pills sometimes are necessary. I also found that once my body begins waking up at the same time every night such as you describe, I take melatonin or a sleep aid (choose your fav, OTC or script) for one night to "reset" my body. But if take them all the time, I have an even harder time falling asleep because now my body seems to have become dependent on them - thus a wean off period and one or two sleepless nights are guaranteed.

Finally - being Catholic, in order to occupy my mind back to the - can't think of two things at once - I recite the rosary prayers until I fall asleep.

I'm not sure any of this helps. But prayers!

So sorry you are having this experience. May I make a few suggestions:
1 - Start by talking with your grandma's doctor. She definitely is having sleep disturbances and needs some medications to help her relax and stay asleep. It would be worth it to have her evaluated and treated by a psychiatrist - preferably geriatric psychiatrist - who can prescribe medications that work well for the older generations.

2 - See a counsellor and/or psychiatrist to deal with your anxiety. You are "anticipating" a rough night of broken sleep so you in essence wake up and "wait" for the disturbance. It really is a new sleep habit you have created. So getting Gram to sleep through the night is the start, then creating new habits for yourself to help ease back to sleep. A psychiatrist can prescribe medications to help you sleep better while you deal with the other issues.

Keep in mind that any medication that promotes sleep (any of the "PM" OTC products, Benadryl and things like that) can make a person a bit "foggy" in the morning. Generally not a problem but if the person has dementia adding a foggy brain to that can make things even m ore confusing for them. And if they are already on medications check with the doctor or pharmacist before giving.

I haven't read all the responses but if I had to choose between one of two people to medicate for anxiety and/or sleep, it needs to be your grandmother. At 90 and with dementia, addiction or side effects are the least of her problems.

Once there's a solution for her to sleep consistently, then your sleep problem will resolve on its own.

I take 10mg of Ambien and 10mg of melatonin. I don’t take it but Ativan is is good too. I don’t wake up groggy. Warning though, Ativan is addicting if you take it every night. At this stage of your grandmother’s life, it might be better to get her some strong medication to make her sleep. I'm not trying to be mean but when someone is like your grandmother, I wouldn’t worry about her getting addicted to any drugs.

-Meditate again when grandma acts up.
-Talk to your doctor about using Trazadone.
-Lavendar fragrance under your pillow.
-CDC tips (https://www.cdc.gov/sleep/about_sleep/sleep_hygiene.html)
-https://lavenderbythebay.com/blogs/lavender-by-the-bay/lavender-and-sleep

Perhaps grandma needs to be placed in a care facility that operates 24/7?

Your brain can get stuck in an anticipatory cycle after a time with the repetition of a certain action from another individual. How long has your grandmother been doing the wake-up and screaming? Has her MD prescribed anything to help her sleep? You need to speak to your MD who could perhaps help you with something to help you sleep and a therapist as well, there's MD Live for a virtual therapy session and if your insurance covers Behavioral Health, it's usually at $00.00 cost to you to at least get you started so you can get some sleep, sleep deprivation is not good! Wishing you all the best!!

I don't sleep great. Walk 4 miles every eve + workout 45 mins + take CALM Magnesium. I listen to Podcasts via headphones..to try to drown out my thoughts. Helps sometimes, not always. A friend says I should try CBD Gummies.. I am not going to take something heavier, as in sleeping pills.. Sounds like G-Ma could use some sleeping meds? Anything her Doc can prescribe? You need more sleep.. PS I love short power naps! Can you get a 20 min in there some days?

We typically take magnesium and 3mg melatonin nightly but go through similar times of waking up, mind getting busy and not being able to get back to sleep. I saw this Nature’s Path Well Blend formula called ‘Back to Sleep’ that’s designed specifically for those times. It’s a quick dissolve tablet that contains low-dose 1mg melatonin and “CALM MIND BLEND OF L-THEANINE AND GABA: Unwind by relaxing your mind with L theanine, and help support a calm and relaxed mental state with GABA.”
Haven’t tried it yet, but it sounds promising!

I never drink any caffeine after noon. I use a eye mask,ear plugs. If I cant go back to sleep I take 5-10 deep breaths . Hope you wellness 🌺🌺🌺

What you are experiencing is very common and really more like a PTSD response. You have anxiety. I was an amazing sleeper my whole life. 7-8 hours uninterrupted knock out sleep was my norm. No sleep issues at all and I could sleep through anything. Then my husband was DX with ALS and it changed me forever. He passed over 4 years ago and I still sometimes wake up in a panic in the middle of the night. Now with my fathers dx of ALZ it is more frequent. I have a prescription for Ativan and on nights where I simply have to get good sleep I take one. Works like a charm and I don’t feel groggy the next day. You can also give it to you LO if you get them a prescription. It’s a controlled substance so DON’T give it unless they have a prescription for it. Some people say that it can can hasten decline in an ALZ patient, and not to sound crass or uncaring, but would that be such a bad thing? The way I look at it is that the least amount of time someone has to live with this terminal beast of a disease the better for them.

Ah, the joys of insomnia! I've been dealing with this lately a lot, too, and you have my total sympathy. The biggest problem I find is it's hard to think straight on 3 or even 4 hours of night's sleep. It's complicated if you have any conditions or other medications (i.e. blood thinners) that have to be carefully checked in terms of what you can put in your body to lull you to sleep. Someone on this forum recommended Tylenol PM and it "somewhat" works, i.e. better than nothing as they say. Last night waking up about 4 am I tried some Chamomile tea with honey. We'll see. Good luck. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Mild anti-anxiety medication for you might help you sleep better when your grandmother is not screaming. Anti-anxiety medication for your grandmother might reduce her episodes of nighttime disturbance.

As a 73 year old woman who has had episodes of screaming and sleep talk most of my adult life, I can pass on that my physician told me the only real solution is for ME to take a light, nightly prescription sedative. My poor husband has endured some pretty severe sleep-interrupted nights. I have hesitated to take the sedative, because the doc said it's purpose is pretty-much to knock you out. He also told me that the brains of people who are sleep-talkers/screamers just don't turn off during sleep. My DH has several chronic conditions that are life threatening. I'm afraid if I take a pill, I might miss a call for help. BUT, maybe in a caregiver role, it might be okay for you to give such medication to your grandmother. It's worth discussing with her doctor. Sleep is too vital to our health. Good luck.

I say this with compassion. The strain on you from her care has invaded your essential need for rest. Please consider memory care facility where skilled professionals will see to her specific needs. Here’s to better days ahead.

After I started taking care of my parents 24/7 I started waking up and not being able to go back to sleep. Mind just went back to work and wouldn't stop. That was with no one waking me.
I started taking melatonin, only 3 mg, I can always wake up if I need to, and don't seem to be groggy in the morning. If you try it you may need to play with the dosage until you find the right amount for you.

Fortunately, right now my husband is going through a fairly calm stage but I know it will not last forever. Reading your post brought the memories and anxious feelings back to the front of my mind. Sometimes medicine changes can improve or even make sleeping worse. Having my husband re-evaluated from time to time has found new "medicine cocktails" to made a difference. Called a cocktail because it sometimes takes a new combination of meds rather than simply adding one new one. There are pharmacists who specialize in geriatric pharmacy. Check out... https://www.ascp.com/ . Last time we used one, insurance did not cover the charges and that may change but it was the best money we spent. Sometimes it was simply recommending a change to the routine of when he got certain meds and other times it was suggestions of med changes or dosages with a report to take to his neurologist to consider. The consultant does not know everything about neurology and the neurologist does not know everything about pharmaceuticals but working together can help find the right mixture.

Another thing I find very helpful brings my Christian beliefs into play. If this is not you, I am sure you can find a similar substitution that works for you. When I can't sleep it is because of all the random thoughts racing in and out keeping me from relaxing. Praying never worked because every time I would pray for myself or someone else, my mind would then begin racing down all the rabbit holes of the issue for which I am trying to pray... causing more anxiety. Instead I begin singing hymns in my head which seems to block out the random thoughts. When praying my own words doesn't seem to help, I have found I can sing the Lord's prayer in my head and the anxiety seems to begin to melt away. There is something about singing songs I've known for many years that calms my mind and heart. I think it is because the words come naturally and without a lot of thought and if I forget them, a few la-la-la's work just the same. Also singing the 23rd Psalm has been good but mostly simple hymns. Sometimes it isn't even Christian music but just humming classical music in my head with no words! It is all about blocking out the random thoughts with something calming that helps me drift off to sleep. The random thoughts only build anxiety for me.

The last resort was accepting a prescription for me to help with the high level of anxiety I experienced early in the pandemic when I learned if my husband went to the ER I could not be there, knowing most people could not understand his speech. I resisted because of the concern that he would have a bad fall if I was in a deep sleep and not hear him getting out of bed... then being hospitalized without me there to advocate for him. My geriatrician finally convinced me she could prescribe something very mild at a low dose and I agreed and has helped.