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My sister-in-law has only been here five times. She's taken her twice and when she brings her back she is unhappy, worried and freaking out that she doesn't have any money because that's what my sister-in-law is telling her. She does have money, but my sister-in-law is not helping us at all with her. What can I do? I'm at a loss.

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Agm has posted about her SIL being POA and not giving her or her husband any money for her needs, selling assets and taking her and husband's inheritance.

This should definitely be reported to APS.

Her, MILs, money is for her care, not SILs lifestyle.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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Your SIL doesn't 'have to' help take care of your MIL just because she has POA, that's not a requirement at all. You have no 'rights' unless you feel your SIL is robbing her mother, which you do not mention. Nor do you mention that MIL has dementia; if so, she can easily be accusing your SIL of saying/doing things falsely. If you don't like how MIL is behaving after a trip to see her daughter, don't send here there, is the best thing I can suggest. You want her to help, yet you don't like what happens when she DOES help?!

Also, like the others have said, have your husband speak to his sister about all of your concerns. If you feel burned out caring for your MIL and want more help, talk to him about that too, and about placing her in Assisted Living if that's what you'd like to see happen.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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Your husband should deal with his sister, your MIL, if there is money should be paying and SIL should not add to your burden of carrying for MIL. Somebody, in this case, your husband should really stand up to her.
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Reply to Evamar
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Yes, she cannot hold on to SS money. That is ur MILs for her care. Even if she is payee, she can't hold on to it. I think as payee, she has to report to SS how the money is spent.

I may consult with an elder lawyer. Maybe he can help you become payee for MILs SS. SS does not recognize POAs.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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You don't provide any info about your MIL. If she has any cognitive or ,memory issues, please be aware that she could be telling you something that isn't true. One symptom of dementia is paranoia and it often takes the form of accusing people closest to the elder of stealing from them, no matter how irrational this accusation seems. I would be very careful about making accusations that might not be true. You can read the many many posts on this forum from people whose own parents or spouses have accused them of "robbing them blind".

https://dailycaring.com/8-ways-to-deal-with-false-dementia-accusations
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Reply to Geaton777
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Have you contacted APS about the DPOA not forwarding the social security money?

She wouldn't be the 1st one that used money she wasn't entitled too, all why letting others pay the bills.

You can report her and do an ER drop, leaving the POA info as contact info. You can tell them that the POA isn't paying for her and you can't continue to do it. They are mandated reporters and would contact APS.

Your husband needs to man up to his sister and tell her to step up or go down for financial exploitation of a vulnerable senior and violation of fiduciary responsibilities. No more doormat! Stand up and deal with this hubby!
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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