In that angiogram they found that he had 80-90% blockage in all 3 arteries. But he had a stroke and I'm told in the ICU that they found that he had heart damage due to done enzyme test but that it must've been a while ago. Thankfully he was able to regain most of his function back with physical therapy. Now he has stage 3b CKD, CHF and diabetes but he's actually been better now that he lost a lot of weight and is exercising. His cardiologist referred him first to see if a bypass could be done but the bypass surgeon said it was better for him to get even 1 or 2 stents rather than open heart. And he agrees that open heart is too much and didn't want that anyway. Now he's going to do a coronary stent and initially he said he wanted to get it over with and so they scheduled him. I thought he mostly understood what the pros and cons but now he's saying he's just doing it because we want him to do it. Honestly I'm not sure if he should do it. He does seem more stable except for shortness of breath and headaches which he uses CPAP for, it helps him he says. But as for me I'm thinking why can't we just keep things as is. When I spoke to his doc if a stent is really needed and why cant we just do more meds, they repeated he has 90% blockage in 3 arteries. I think it's his way of saying dad really needs it? But I'm scared that he might have another stroke or worst with this stent procedure. I'm not sure what to do but it is in a few days. He seems to now going into it blindly and I'm terrified of bad outcomes. But for some reason we are hopeful that stent might help his quality of life and extend it... are we unnecessarily risking him? I'm not sure what to do and it will be this week.
A stent is a minimally invasive procedure. I am assuming that they explained what it is. Basically think of s teensy tube to hold those vessels open.
But you already KNOW what the side effect of a minimally invasive procedure may be, right? Because of the angio.
So that takes care of the facts in the case. Correctly placed stents in a minimally invasive procedure, well done and WITH GOOD LUCK may make the remained of your Dad's life a lot more comfortable.
BUT............your father already has a failing heart and is 84 years old.
I am 82. I am not doing anything anymore. I just got a triple negative second breast cancer beginning of the year. Yes to lumpectomy, no to chemo and no to radiation; I won't be doing them. Any spread to other organs I will do palliative, hospice and MAiD (the good last cocktail). For me now, the threats of stoke sound worse than the threats of just dying. I am ready to die. I don't care to be tortured to death or to die in pieces if it can be prevented (big "if").
What I am telling you is that this is up to your dad. Time to sit with HIM and with the DOC and for the doc to tell him ALL risks of doing this and ALL risks of not doing this, and then giving him time to decide FOR HIMSELF by HIMSELF.
What you need to tell your dad now is "Please don't do ANYTHING for ME. Do what you want and need to do for you. I am NEVER EVER going to be ready for you to leave me, but at the same time I am saying that I want you to know I feel enormously lucky in having you in my life this long, and I will be OK, and I don't believe you will EVER be gone from me; it will just be I cannot look on your lovely face nor hear your wonderful voice. Please do it your way and know I support you every second with all I have in me".
Leave it to your Dad. There's no safety in life. My old man is out walking the Foster dog. Those gals taking their kids to school in their SUVs do NOT pay attention. He might not come back home. If they don't hit him they will SCARE his 84 year old self to death! No guarantees.
I so wish you the very very best.
Best wishes as you make further decisions.
The trouble with stents is that they're placed via angioplasty methods, the same thing that caused dad's stroke to begin with. None of these heart procedures are w/o risk. But the alternative is certain death with 3 seriously blocked arteries.
I have stage 4 cancer and took immunotherapy in an effort to extend my life, even by a little bit. Yes, the immunotherapy caused permanent disability for me, but I am still alive 20 months later, and cancer free for now.
These treatment options are ALWAYS a trade off, my friend. There are no guarantees with any of them. But why not try to extend our stay here for a little while longer, especially if we have family who love us?
I echo Funkygrandma's words. Just pray that all turns out well and dad is with you for awhile longer once these stents are placed.
Best of luck to you.
And, you can ask more diffused questions to get to the heart of your dad's wish to either do the procedure "just for you" or also "for himself." Fear, of course, may always taint even our own true feelings, but as said, the chances of much worse outcomes are extremely likely if the stents are not placed. The chances for full recovery and elimination of adverse events in the future are much more expected if stents are placed.
Here's my experience with 71-year-old high risk husband with 99% occlusion of the "widow maker" artery, and 80% of another, and a page-long list of serious co-morbidities and disabilities, who also only considered such a frightening procedure "for me" ... until we explored his real wishes closer. Asked to describe what a really good day would be like for him, his response included spending time at home relaxing on the back patio, with the dogs and me. So, it hinted that he wanted to return to home life with the hope of full recovery that a stent would give. Asked what he felt about possibly having further heart attacks, stroke or even being on a ventilator if he chose Rx drugs as an alternative, he was clear that he'd want to avoid that at all costs. More questions might help your dad consider which option he really desires more for himself?
Yes, your dad really needs this, unless he is satisfied with a much higher chance of further stroke or worse with meds going forward. Ask the experienced doctors, would he regain restoration to prior health levels after the procedure? We were given that promise, and after a month post-op of dicey health (until his prior meds were adjusted down to balance with a now healthy heart) his recovery then got faster and faster. Took a few months, but rebounded better than ever. Also, we were told that after a year post-op, any risk of further complications were basically very small. What joy, as we now celebrate that 1st anniversary; no more questions hanging over our lives regarding the strength and health of his restored heart.
Wishing you, your dad, and mom, strength, peace in the midst of turmoil, and comfort in whichever road is ultimately taken. Please keep us all updated.
The last stop should they reach it is dementia.
How is your dad's competency? My mom is 81 but she has dementia that is pretty advanced and is not competent and I would not do any surgery on her at this point.
Regardless of what path is taken, be at peace with it. There is no way to know which path is really best or safest and there are no guarantees either way. What will be, will be so don't stress or beat yourself up.
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