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I think you can get a prescription from her doctor for cream pads pull ups and pads because she is incontinent the Medicare may help with the cost.
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Is your mom taking prescribed medication that is causing all the urine? Maybe it can be adjusted?
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We use an adult diaper with a pad inside for 91 year old Mom. Both the most absorbent available.
Then a protective pad under her where she sits or sleeps. We try to take her to the potty every few hours to hope she does something in there. She has no sensation when she has to go. She has a problem wiping well, so we try to do that for her.
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My mom had UTI's all the time and she was taken to the hospital at least half the time. It was a waste of time. Her Urologist finally told me to order D-Mannose from Walmart.com and give her three a day. It was magic. She hasn't had anymore UTI's at all. It's been so wonderful. D-Mannose is a supplement. Very safe. Another thing he told both me and my mom is the minute you feel the urge to urinate to go right to the bathroom. He said holding in your urine will bring on UTI's when you are older. I don't hold it any longer.
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SatchimosMom Jul 2021
D Mannose is like a miracle! I personally had dealt with repeated UTIs for years. D Mannose twice daily stopped them. (Turned out to be a tiny fistula had developed between my bowel and bladder. It was repaired during surgery for something else.).
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Hey EV
1. We use Depends daily around the house and Tena when we have to go to any appointments. The Tena have better fitting leg openings for our purposes.
However,
2. I agree with the advice about AL or at least in-home care. And, to help you make that decision, you should check the Social Security Life Expectancy Calculator. You can get a generalized idea of how many more years that you may be dealing with your mom's declining health and increasing needs.
3. I'm not sure if this is true in every state, but you may be able to call in Hospice for some respite services. Your loved one doesn't have to be terminal. In my state, as long as they are not expected to improve, they qualify for assistance.
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disgustedtoo Jul 2021
Anyone care hire hospice and pay for it, but in order to have Medicare pay for it, the doctor has to approve it AND there does need to be a "terminal" condition. Medicare rules do say 6mo. Many survive beyond that, requiring recertification on a regular basis. While Medicare does offer "respite care" for someone who is on Medicare hospice, it's limited to 5 days and may incur up to 5% of the cost.

My mother was 97, already in a wheelchair, with dementia, limited hearing, Mac Deg and when she had a stroke that disabled her dominant side, the MC nurse called in hospice. We actually had to fight them, make them come back several times. They rejected her for hospice not once, but TWICE.

Beware telling others that hospice is easy and the condition doesn't have to be terminal. Medicare has specific criteria and any hospice working under Medicare has to abide by those rules.
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If proper garments can't be found or don't help, and the home is filthy because of her behaviors and accidents, why are you allowing her to remain - I sure would not put up with it if I tried everything. You need to put her somewhere to be cared for.
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disgustedtoo Jul 2021
People are not "things" that can just be "put" somewhere or disposed of if they have issues. There's no mention of dementia, and even if there was, legally you can't just "put" a person somewhere else unless they want to go there. Even those with dementia have rights and can't be forced, so stop with your nonsense about dumping people just because YOU wouldn't tolerate it.

Additionally, not every one has the funds to pay for a facility like AL or MC. NHs are even more expensive, and generally you have to NEED NH care, specialized nursing care. Dementia or incontinence are qualifiers. As for paying the high costs, Medicaid generally only covers NH AND has ridiculously low income limits.

You make everything sound so simple, but it isn't.
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Depends! My experience with this subject was a little different but the answer was the same. I did not have the leaking problem with my Mom. She had however, refused to even consider or try depends. She was happy with her pads, that was the problem. We were planning a 6 week road trip for Mom to visit family and friends. Rest areas are rarely where you need them and as all of us age urgency becomes a very real issue. So, knowing there may be a argument I prepared to illustrate that depends would not leak and would be the answer between rest areas or restaurants. Mom did not trust they would work any better than pads. I took one of her pads and, over the sink, poured a cup of water into it, nothing leaked so I began pouring the 2nd cup of water into the pad. It only held a little more than the one cup before it leaked. I then did the same with depends and it held 3 cups of water. We were both surprised! Satisfied they wouldn’t leak Mom was willing to give them a try. Once she realized how comfortable they were she never went back to pads. I realize it may seem like a weird demonstration but it was what my Mother needed to see to alleviate her fears. What do you think you Mothers fears are? Bless You for having your Mother live with you. It means more to them than they are able to express.
Good Luck!
Dianne

After posting this I read all the posts. Rather than referencing the brand depends I should have remembered all the other available brands of adult briefs.
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BurntCaregiver Jul 2021
Lovejoy01,

Your demonstration for mom is not weird at all. It's brilliant.
Sometimes a person has to see for themselves why something doesn't work like they think it will.
I always suggested name-brand Depends, with a name-brand Poise pad lining it to all my clients who were incontinent or to their families. They cost a little bit more than an off brand does, but worth the extra money.
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I had an incontinent client some time back who was very comfortable wearing a Depends-brand diaper but could not tolerate the bulkiness of a Poise pad lining it. Most people can, she couldn't. Yet the diaper itself wasn't enough.
If you want absolutely no leakage at all, line that diaper with a trimmed down baby-diaper. This is what I used to do.
Get a pack of baby diapers. Trim the tabs and leg elastic off. Then line the Depend diaper with them. Infant diapers are made from different material than adult ones. You could pour a glass of water on one and that thing will not leak. Also the surface of it stays dry. They're also thin. Perfect for use as an adult diaper liner.
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Have you tried using a Pure Wick? It is a little expensive but they help a lot. The machine runs about $500 and a supply of Pure Wicks run about $200 per month. You will still have some wet bed issues but it will definitely be less and will eliminate most of the smell. When I first purchased the machine I didn't use it much. However now that my love one is not walking much and in a hospital bed it has been a huge benefit. They are widely used in hospitals for female patients but not in nursing facilities.
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I recently heard about leakproof period underwear for teens. The company seems to have had enough inquiries about incontinence that they expanded their product line to solve the problem with style.
https://www.shethinx.com/pages/speax
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Does she currently wear depends or adult diapers? If not, it is time!
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