My mother has not been out of bed since March, now and again she has a bluish tint around the mouth, but not all the time, her hands are swollen but not her feet. Both hands and feet are cold to the touch. She is now getting weaker each day and hasn't eaten much since Tuesday and it's now Saturday, she is drinking water but mostly to take meds. Her breathing is shallow with 8 resps per min now and again her breathing stops for about 20 seconds. She sleeps most of the day and all of the night. She is 85yrs old. Is she now in the dying stage?
I'm very sorry. I know this is an extremely difficult time. I wonder if you should call for an ambulance. I'm not sure what your mom wanted. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Please consider that as when/if she passed you may be too distraught but will have to arrange this anyway.
I am sorry about your mother. My prayers are with you.
The nurse said near the end her body would cool down and there would be mottling in her feet, as her heart isn't working as well and the blood isn't circulating properly. I also recommend hospice. They can provide comfort care to both you and your mom. They will let your mom pass at home. When your mom passes, you call them and they handle contacting the funeral home (or cremation service in my case). Hugs to you...this isn't easy.
Check with your hospice nurse if they are allowed to pronounce the death and call the funeral home. It is very hard to argue with EMTs and police if you call 911 which is why hospice tells you to call them not 911.
It is a good idea to contact the funeral home of your choice prior to the death and make some arrangements. If there is not to be a viewing and cremation it is not necessary to have the body embalmed although the funeral home will want to do it. (Another expense) If there is going to be any delay and distant relatives can not arrive for hours or days then go ahead and have the embalming done because the body deteriorates very quickly and most funeral homes at least don't in our area have refrigderation.
Right now things you don't want to think about and you don't actually have to do anything. When I was a hospice nurse I often attended deaths where no arrangements had been made and I just called the funeral home of choice and everything was taken care of.