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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
Share a few details and we will match you to trusted home care in your area:
I cared for my Husband for a long time. I did find a Support Group that was a Spouse Caregiver Support Group. The dynamics change when you are caring for a spouse rather than a parent, child, relative or even a friend, or as a hired caregiver. You no longer have an equal partnership so it can get more difficult. Is there anything specific that is on your mind?
I can't help questioning if part of her problems, of which there are many, may be exaggerated or even faked. Her memory is typical for early stage alzheimers and she had 2 light strokes several years apart. But I suspect her pain is sometimes a play for sympathy. I manage her pain medication as well as all others so she isn't overmedicated. She has a neurogenic bladder and must be catharized twice daily which she can't (won't?) do. UTI develops if it is neglected. I do my very best.... to be patient with her and to give her the benefit of the doubt. But her attitude isn't especially cordial, and when I get blamed for things she loses, I have to bite my tongue to remain civil. I don't have any choice, really. We've been married for 62 years so I guess I will just have to grin and bear it! Thanks for asking, and listening!
OldArkie - you've been married for 62 years, so you're no youngster. Having to care for anyone at your age is physically demanding. Emotionally demanding is a given.
Do you have any help? Do you have breaks? Have you discussed the level of care she needs with her doctor to see if she can go into a nursing home? It sounds like she's a candidate.
You really need to turn over her care to a professional and step back, or else she just might outlive you.
OldArkie, Toss doubts out if she has any memory problems. I think at that point there is no purposeful "play" or "blaming" what is in her mind she probably has no ulterior motive. She may want, make that need, you more near her because you are her safety line. The one constant that will not let her down, will not shame her or make her feel embarrassed by her poor memory, that she might get something "wrong" if someone asks her a question. The fact that you are there when she is "lost" in a place she has known most of her life. If something is lost reassure her that you will find it and not to worry. Try redirecting, tell her you love her. As far as being cordial her personality may change and drastically. Some people can get mean, violent others become kind and docile. My Husband had always been a sweet, kind man and lucky for me he remained that way. So there is that. Keep safety in mind and if at any time you become unsafe or she is not safe you should make the very difficult decision to place her in professional care. When I was caring for my Husband that was the only criteria I had that would have made me place him. If he became violent so it was not safe for me, if there would be a possibility that I would injure him caring for him I would have had to place him. Luckily with the help of the VA and Hospice I got the equipment I needed and the education I needed so that I could care for him safely and as I said he was a sweetheart and easy to care for. Remember to care for yourself! If you don't care for yourself you can not care for her.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I did find a Support Group that was a Spouse Caregiver Support Group.
The dynamics change when you are caring for a spouse rather than a parent, child, relative or even a friend, or as a hired caregiver.
You no longer have an equal partnership so it can get more difficult.
Is there anything specific that is on your mind?
Do you have any help? Do you have breaks? Have you discussed the level of care she needs with her doctor to see if she can go into a nursing home? It sounds like she's a candidate.
You really need to turn over her care to a professional and step back, or else she just might outlive you.
Toss doubts out if she has any memory problems. I think at that point there is no purposeful "play" or "blaming" what is in her mind she probably has no ulterior motive.
She may want, make that need, you more near her because you are her safety line. The one constant that will not let her down, will not shame her or make her feel embarrassed by her poor memory, that she might get something "wrong" if someone asks her a question. The fact that you are there when she is "lost" in a place she has known most of her life.
If something is lost reassure her that you will find it and not to worry. Try redirecting, tell her you love her.
As far as being cordial her personality may change and drastically. Some people can get mean, violent others become kind and docile. My Husband had always been a sweet, kind man and lucky for me he remained that way. So there is that.
Keep safety in mind and if at any time you become unsafe or she is not safe you should make the very difficult decision to place her in professional care. When I was caring for my Husband that was the only criteria I had that would have made me place him. If he became violent so it was not safe for me, if there would be a possibility that I would injure him caring for him I would have had to place him. Luckily with the help of the VA and Hospice I got the equipment I needed and the education I needed so that I could care for him safely and as I said he was a sweetheart and easy to care for.
Remember to care for yourself! If you don't care for yourself you can not care for her.