Is this annoying or is it just me?

Lisa,

I think you are just stressed out. I probably would have started giggling to myself, but then I have a quirky sense of humor.

Look at it as free entertainment. People do crazy things at times.

Take care. Hope the rest of the week goes better for you.

Hugs!

Lisa, stress causes us all to have less patience with everything.

Have you been working with a therapist?

I have found that I am not nearly as patient and small things make me want to cry due to the frustration, I think your response was normal. I also think you questioning if your response was proper to learn how to not feel this way is an excellent start. Temporary and will get better, I'm sure of it.

Of course that annoyed you, Lisa....4 people to do a shopping trip that 1 could have done? The woman in the wheelchair reminds me of my mother, who would direct exactly which can, box, etc. to get....and it had better be the best-dated item in the display. She wouldn't let me shop for her from a list, either.

These days I am finding don’t suffer fools lightly. No patience for stupidity. I was a nicer person before last year.

"Is this annoying?"

Were YOU annoyed?

Do you actually care if other people would be annoyed by that or not? Or looking for validation?

If however, you are noticing you are more tightly wound, more sensitive than usual, take note.
Be extra kind to yourself until you return to your baseline.

I think MD1748's response is spot on Lisa. I don't understand why being annoyed at this episide requires a posting here. If this is the only annoyance you've had lately, count yourself lucky. Just acknowledge you're annoyed and it may be perfectly valid. Why do you need to post here seeking validation for your feelings? In past postings you've had similar questions, not about annoyance but looking for validation for your feelings or your responses to situations. On some level you doubt yourself so want us strangers to give you a pat and say, "yes, yes, poor you, how awful." But I will say that when people here have given advice that suggests you're over-reacting or that you should seek counseling or get out of the situation, you take it with good humor and seem to learn from it (at least until you post again with some new "situation"). Do you like the AC forum so much that you are looking for an excuse to post and interact, even though it may be totally unrelated to caregiving?

There is a very technical term for this....

LOL....well not really technical so much as colloquial.

"BIC (b&$#@ eating crackers)" (rhymes with "witch" in case that wasn't clear)

This is something I picked up on an old forum years ago for DIL's dealing with problematic in-laws.

What does it mean? It can be applied to just one person. Or it can be applied to everyone around you. It depends on the situation.

But it basically means this. That you have reached a point where literally EVERYTHING bothers you right now. The term comes from a person that gets on your nerves so much, that they could literally be doing nothing more than EATING CRACKERS within earshot and it would fry your nerves to the point that you want to slap the crackers right out of their mouths.

They don't have to be doing anything more than just existing. But you are existing at such a high level of stress all the time around that particular person, or in this case, just in general, that it doesn't matter WHAT they do (or what happens) it is going to bother you.

Think about it like this. When we get to a breaking point, there is nothing for it. When you put a pot of cold water on the stove, for a long time it will just sit there, everything is fine. Under the surface things are changing. But on the outside, all is well. Then as things heat up, you can see things start to change a little bit underneath. Things on the outside still look ok. Then finally, when it hits that boiling point, there is no stopping it, no holding it back, those bubbles are going to break the surface and you can't contain it, it's all going to spill out and boil. And until it cools back down, it won't stop.

So, yeah - it was probably a little bit annoying. But it was probably made so much more annoying by the fact that you are already stressed out, you needed to get things done, they were crude, were not paying attention to their surroundings or being cognizant of the needs of others and were just in general mildly irritating. BUT, had you not been stressed - there's a pretty good chance you would have rolled your eyes - said excuse me I need to grab something right there - or can you hand me XYZ - or gone to grab something else and come back. And you would probably not have felt the need to even say anything. (or maybe that's just me)

Stress does things to us. It makes us bolder (or not). It makes us angrier (or not). It makes us do things without thinking about it (until later). It can do things to our physical and mental health that we aren't even aware is happening.

People are just rude in general anymore and don't seem to have a lot social propriety for public places. But then again, not everyone is even taught how to behave in public anymore.

I am going to tell you what I tell other children annoyed that there are other people living their lives around us.

Excuse me, is still VERY effective.

A simple, "Excuse me, can I get in there" would have saved us all from this ridiculous post.

Thank youblueeyedgirl.. I am going to tell my friend how you described the boiling pot of water. Yes, it seems simple enough, but that is so true.. She lets things boil up where she is mentally straining to keep herself together, and then things just escalates.

I will say one thing, I am less stressed now since I found out I wasn't the only person with a "blue figure" issue.
But people in a small grocery store aisle...not deciding ? I do let people people know, kindly, that I am there. EXCUSE ME !!

One gal asked if she could get whatever it was that I was standing in front of.
. I told her NO !!! IT'S ALL MINE !! YOU CAN'T HAVE IT !! she laughed.

You know, sometimes, we do have to vent.. Let off the steam. And she is dealing with age related stuff, and it does seem to pull in more stress. So, I say.. go ahead and vent. We are in this boat together, in one way or other..

As another post said... our geriatrics are gone now, and now we are preparing to take care of our spouses... yikes....It is so true. So, do I need to be on this site? I suppose no.. I haven't been. And thank you for letting me vent... Thank you for welcoming me back...

Turn the other cheek if you feel so inclined as to not want to read or reply to such post, issue, or question...

One person called me out saying I was plagiarizing. I guess I was, think of it more like parroting. Thought it was important to emphasize that answer.. that was awhile back ago.

Anyway, I will try to keep my responses short for now on.. Thank you for your patience.

To answer you question.....YES, IT'S JUST YOU!
Please get a life and quit bothering the good folks on this forum with your nonsense.
Surely you have more important things to do right? Or do you?

What does this have to do with Aging Care? Every other week you come up with something basically relating to your mental health issues.

How about talking to a therapist about your issues?

In a world beset by real problems, people at war, animals drowning in dam destructions, people inhaling smoke from fires that go on and on and on, people losing their homes, their very lives or living in dire poverty-- it is always a wonder to me what we Americans can find to beef about, Lisa. We haven't even been visited by war on our own lands for generations.

So no, I cannot imagine being annoyed by what you describe.

Try to have a broader perspective. Try to concentrate more on how lucky you are.

Lisa, I have been following your posts since the beginning. Things have always annoyed you. And you just don't seem to just except how things are. I know, you cared for Dad for a long time before he chose to live near your brother. For what ever reason, he gave POA to your brother. You have said before that neither Dad or brother appreciate your input.

IMO you are stressing yourself out. Why can't you just except this is the way things are. Brother is POA and Dad is allowing him to take over for him. Brother needs to tell you nothing concerning Dads financials or what he does for Dad. Does not need to tell you any Medical either. If Dad wants to tell you thats OK but brother is not suppose to.

Except that brother is in control and Dad relies on him. Sorry, they just don't want your input. Can't you just go and visit Dad? You know how brother reacts when you try to suggest anything. Why continue to suggest.

Yes, those people blocking the isle would bug me too, but, I would have just turned around and chose another isle and came back later. I would not have allowed it to bother me the rest of the day. This is why therapy may help you. To find out why you let these little things ruin your day.

Lisa--

What you are describing is 'life' in the world.

People are all around. We have to be aware that not everyone acts like we'd like them to.

You are talking about something that is very much a "First world problem".

Yes, it's hard to have compassion--but you don't what these people are fighting against in their lives.

Maybe by being part of the solution, instead of snarking at people under your breath-you'd be happier.

No matter how stressed 'I' am, I really try to make a point of being kind to all the people I encounter in my daily life. I am by no means perfect, but I sure get a better 'wah' from people when I am kind, rather than acting privileged.

A simple 'excuse me, can I squeeze past you' would have solved the 'problem'.

Thanks everyone who replied. I think part of the reason I posted was because of the story of what I saw in the grocery store. I thought some people might think it was funny, even though I was very annoyed by the situation.

After reading your posts it occurred to me that where I live now is definitely different then where I moved from. It is much more densely populated here and so there are more different types of people and situations around.

I never thought things would go this way for my father and my brother would treat me in such a disrespectful way. I am now much more able now to distance my self from my brother, physically and mentally, but the recent past actually haunts me! I can't even believe I feel that. I used to be completely "together" and had everything under control. I have a lot to be thankful for, as some of you have said, but like I said there is a point at which it's so difficult. It feels good to at least tell someone, like via this forum, how I feel. I do feel better. Thanks again.

Good point Lisa. We can either be annoyed or find it funny.
Our choice.

If I were able to get my extreme overwhelming dizziness under control enough the past 14 weeks to get out of this house into a grocery store, I'd have avoided that scene and felt pity for the pair suffering thru it. And I'd have celebrated my first public outing in 14 weeks, big time. Instead, I'll stay home and continue praying to God to relieve me of this toxic reaction I've had to cancer treatments intended to buy me a bit more time on Earth.

It's just you.

Lisa I think you are looking at this all wrong.

You should be grateful those farts weren't the silent but deadly kind.

Now about you waiting in the aisle while it filled with the adorous scent of God knows what should make you question your own sanity.

Everyone knows you have to wait at least 15 minutes before entering a biohazardous fart zone lest you are over come by said noxious odor and find yourself passed out in said aisle at the mercy of these horrible people.

Lisa,

Please read JoAnn’s posting to you.
Go back and read your response to JoAnn. Now, pretend that you are someone else who is reading your response. How would you interpret your response?

May I speak honestly with you about this particular post? Without you becoming defensive? I know that you’re stressed, just realize that my comments aren’t in any way a criticism of you personally. I understand how much you care about your father’s well being.

Hey, if you don’t like what I have to say, you don’t have to respond back. Deal? Fair enough? I won’t be offended.

Go see a therapist and say to them exactly what you said to JoAnn. I will tell you what my therapist said to me when I felt the need to control everything.

He asked me, “Why is it so important for you to be in control? Does it really matter who does what and how they do it as long as the job gets done?”

Do you know what I came to realize? My therapist was right and that I had an ego problem and a controlling issue and I was packaging it as “caring.” My therapist was objective enough to see the situation accurately. I was grateful for his willingness to present thought provoking questions to me.

Lisa, do you really think that you let go of this situation? I don’t. I really don’t.

Trust me, I have had my share of issues with brothers. I’m grateful everyday that I found peace. It is so worth it. There is healing, regardless of your situation with your family, if you are willing to seek help. I don’t mean one or two sessions. Make a commitment to invest in therapy for yourself. Take the opportunity to learn and grow. There is no joy in remaining stagnant, drowning in despair.

Wasting too much useful energy on fart heads. You have to direct yourself to something more positive and productive. The fart head’s stopped you from accomplishing great things that day! Vow that you won’t let the fart heads get under your skin! Hugs 🤗